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And when someone we feel like we're passionately in love with dumps us it hurts...badly.
Now, the plain truth is that as you become more of a chooser than a chaser you'll have more power over your dating life.
That means YOU are soon (if not already) going to be the one breaking up with some women here and there, even if you've been used to women initiating breakups in the past.
You see, as a man you're going to start bringing women into your life who like you a bunch, but who aren't ultimately going to meet your standards.
And yes...you're going to have to cut them loose so they can find a man who appreciates them more than you do.
So here's a news flash for you: The whole concept of being straight-up, honkin' desperate to get an ex-back whom you have strong feelings for is NOT gender-specific.
That's not surprising at all, I'm sure.
Nevertheless, your whole perspective on the scenario changes when your ex is the one suddenly on an all-out, no-holds-barred mission to get YOU back into her life.
So here we go. I'm going to show you right here and right now how to stand your ground and help your ex move on even if she's armed with every "get your ex back" strategy in the book.
She's going to bring the big guns to get what she wants, although hopefully not literally.
Prepare your mindset so you expect that, have your eyes open to see her tactics for what they are and you'll already be ahead of the game.
The next step is to objectively outline in your mind WHY you've broken up with her, and WHY that was an excellent idea. This will help you stand your ground and mitigate against any manipulation of the "grey area" she might try.
My years of experience as a dating coach have confirmed time and again that nearly all breakups happen for good cause, and that getting back together with someone who we've broken up with is almost always a BAD idea.
As such, keep in mind that no matter what she comes up with as leverage, staying broken up is almost invariably best for both of you.
So then, what are some of these specific "tactics" she might try?
Well, even after a firm conversation with her detailing the hard truth that the two of you are officially broken up, you can expect her to make every attempt possible to reassert herself into your life.
That can be exacerbated by the apparently innocuous suggestion on your part to "remain friends", and she may push for that regardless of whether you've expressly offered it or not.
But make no mistake here, if you HAVE given her a "JBF talk" she's likely to take you up on it, even if you were just trying to be nice.
If she flat-out adores you and you want the romantic relationship to end, you must cut all communications with her early on, albeit with kindness. There's no need to insult her and/or otherwise go into gory negative detail.
Still, you need to keep the moratorium on communication in place no matter what, at least until she finds another love interest...and perhaps much longer.
Otherwise, she's going to tug on your heartstrings with every ounce of strength she has.
She might even tempt you with a sexual tryst, possibly going so far to offer it "without strings". Don't kid yourself.
She's also likely to suggest that the two of you meet together in order to exchange each other's belongings that you might have cluttering your respective places of residence.
Your answer to that should be to either return the items by mail or leave them by the door, if that's practical. No live, face-to-face meetings should even be considered.
Now, so far everything I've shared with you might seem like "common sense". Still, it's alarming how we can allow ourselves to get sucked back into a relationship we don't want, even when we fully sense what's happening.
But how about some of the more subtle ways your ex can attempt to get back into a relationship with you?
I have to say, some of these are SO "under the radar" that SHE might not even be fully aware of what she's doing.
For example, particularly if a woman has low self-esteem she may find it necessary to feel there's good reason for the breakup in her own mind in order to find necessary closure.
Huh?
Let's put it this way. She may not effectively move on until it's her desire to.
That can only mean one thing. She has to somehow convert her strong feelings of LOVE into strong feelings of HATE.
That way she wants the breakup as much as you did. And considering most of us are programmed in today's culture to see dating relationships as opportunities to meet our own selfish needs, that just might be the only way she knows how to get herself to back off.
Obviously, then, this will cause her to do what she can to provoke you to do something evil.
Don't be surprised when she sends you random texts and voicemails that make your blood boil. No matter what, leave them unanswered.
You should neither allow her to hate you nor have the opportunity to continue conversation with you in any way, shape or form.
Otherwise, at best you risk getting back together with her (which is still likely her preference) OR at worse--you're going to wake up one morning to a big key scratch down the full length of your new ride, which she may fully justify in her mind.
Remember always...this weird compulsion to find a reason to hate you is 100% about a misplaced desire to regain a lost sense of personal power. She needs to view herself as having dumped YOU...for cause.
It all sounds pretty twisted, I know, but that's how the human mind can work under dire circumstances.
Ultimately, you'll want to beware of falling into the trap of continuing conversation with her in ANY way...mostly because you lose all of your personal power even as she regains it, right?
Can you see how that's the case?
Perhaps ironically, if she doesn't care to find reason to hate you, she just might kick up the charm and kindness to previously unseen levels, which you also must not fall for.
Otherwise, before you know it she'll have played the "crying card" in context with all the "nice" things she's suddenly doing for you and voila, she'll be your girlfriend again.
...That is, if she doesn't become the one who suddenly becomes oddly distant shortly after drawing you in.
Can you imagine ultimately feeling like you want to chase the woman you once broke up with first, hoping she'll stay with you because you fear losing her?
At the time you're breaking up with her I'm sure you won't be able to imagine that at all. But it'd be a mistake to underestimate the power of what's in those "win back your ex" books.
So there you have it.
Having read through what I've shared with you here, it might by easy to believe that I'm painting a picture of all women as shady and/or manipulative.
Believe me, that isn't necessarily the case at all. Even women of very high character will typically do whatever it takes in the name of getting you back once they're on that mission.
The more they are smitten, the greater lengths they'll go to get what they want. Never, ever underestimate a woman's capabilities in that regard.
Remember also that today's society has programmed us to feel as if we should get what we want whenever we want it, and that's how most men AND women view relationships with MOTOS (members of the other sex).
When a modern woman is passionately in love with you and you cannot reciprocate those feelings, you just can't expect her to wish you well with someone else.
At least now you know how to handle post-breakup situations and minimize the aftermath.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!