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I have no patience for learning "fundamentals".
Never mind that Tim Duncan is arguably the best power forward in the history of the NBA, all because he's a master of the basics.
Sure, you'll see him bank a shot off the glass 25 times for every slam dunk.
But because that's not exactly what thrills the audience, you'll almost never see him in a national television commercial.
Meanwhile, Blake Griffin and his "above the rim" persona are practically everywhere on TV these days, even though he still has pretty major holes in his game--and zero championships.
That's right. We want to skip straight to the flashy stuff. The stuff that impresses everyone else. You know, the stuff that looks amazing.
It's so true, isn't it?
Man, when I first was learning how to play guitar my first impulse was to memorize "Stairway To Heaven" rather than practice boring scales or even chords.
And for me, it was all about saving my pennies until I had enough to plunk down for that "fireglo" red Rickenbacker 360...sweet!
Similarly, back in school when my buddies and I practiced lacrosse together we spent 95% of our time winging sidearm shots at the net, a skill that I'm not sure any of us ever actually used in a game more than three or four times all season.
And don't even get me started about how having the baddest ass BMX bike in the neighborhood was all that mattered to a 14 year- old kid back in 1983.
I still remember that one kid's baby blue "PK Ripper" with the matching "Landing Gear" fork and camouflage pad set.
Never mind the fact that I hadn't even competed in my first actual race yet, I wanted one!
The truck has to be 4x4 even if it never snows around here.
But if you think I'm going to go tear that thing up climbing rocks or screw it over with a bunch of mud you've got to be kidding.
You get the point.
So what about meeting women?
Again, it's the exact same deal. Screw the "fundamentals".
We want to fall off the "newbie" cart and jump right into, oh... stopping a supermodel while she's walking down 5th Avenue in Manhattan. In the other direction. At rush hour. When we're originally from rural Bolivia.
Imagine how often I'm asked how to do that by guys who haven't actually been on a date in ages. If you're imagining "a lot", then you're on target.
Other variations on the theme tend to go like this.
"Heya. How do I approach a group of a dozen fantastically sexy women on 'girl's night out'? When they're drunk? And in Vegas?"
"Let's say I see a woman who's with her billionaire A-list celebrity boyfriend...no, make that HUSBAND. How do I steal her away from him and get her to leave with ME instead?"
And let's not forget this classic...
"Dude. How can I skip the whole 'dating' thing and just get women to rip my clothes off within a minute of meeting them?"
True story. One PUA out there has actually changed his program's name to reflect that it now allegedly gets you women in three seconds instead of ten seconds. Apparently, it wasn't selling enough.
Let's get real here. It's time for me to openly admit to a few more things here while I'm at it.
I was a crappy on guitar until I actually learned how to play one.
When I buckled down, ran a couple of miles a day and actually did ground ball drills I became a much better lacrosse player.
After ultimately getting on a race track with my BMX bike, I actually went slower when I got the frame/fork combo of my dreams. As it turned out, the old one had fit me much better.
And here's the clincher. I'm sure I've never actually stopped a supermodel on 5th avenue or approached a dozen drunk women in Vegas, let alone stolen an A-list actor's wife.
What's more, had I spent all my time up until now focusing on doing those sort of things, I'd probably still be single.
Heck, I'd still be DATELESS.
Let me say it out loud: "Cold approaches" are completely, fully unnecessary. If you want to learn how to do them, fine. But how about getting "warm approaches" down first?
Every day you have the opportunity to talk to women. At school, while shopping, while getting coffee...everywhere. Some of those women are actually approaching YOU first.
Believe me when I tell you that it's in those situations that you're at least equally likely to meet the most amazing women ever.
You don't even need to leave your home. Nowadays we have the Internet, and I can assure you it's not a fad.
When I mastered the relatively "mundane" arts of online dating and meeting women everywhere I went (usually one at a time), it was amazing how many friendly, smiley and particularly sexy cuties entered my life.
The bottom line here, gentlemen, is that stopping supermodels on the street might be a really cool skill to impress your buddies with.
But ultimately, it's a much better and more fulfilling deal to actually HAVE a real, live woman or three in your life.
They might not drop everything and make out with you right after they meet you, but they'll get around to it sooner than later.
I promise.
Similarly, if you're stumbling around trying to figure out "what to do" when you're actually AT the bank in front of a smiling cutie who's depositing your money for you, then all the knowledge about "boyfriend destroyer game" in the world isn't going to help you.
Drop the quest for flashy tricks and work instead on yourself. That's the ultimate "fundamental" strategy, I know. But hey, it's a darned good one that WORKS.
Becoming a man takes far less time overall than you think. Be confident, masculine in the way women define it, make women feel comfortable in your presence and show some character.
Start making conversation even with the woman bagging your groceries at the supermarket who isn't necessarily a supermodel and work from there.
Watch how women light up like Christmas trees when a "big four" man acknowledges their presence. They follow your lead and acknowledge YOUR presence as well.
In other words, do SOMETHING.
Because here's the thing: I'm actually convinced that when it comes to meeting women and creating attraction, one of the biggest reasons why guys avoid the "fundamentals" is because they're actually avoiding meeting women altogether.
Spending all of your time attempting to master the world's hardest, most daunting approach situation is a great way to make sure you never actually have to TRY anything. Think about it.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!