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That's probably because it's not a particularly fun or amusing subject to talk about.
But the fact remains that you've got to know how to handle yourself when faced with sudden--and perhaps obnoxious--competition.
Such sticky situations can take various forms depending on the scenario, but today I want to cover a very specific one. It happens to be the one that I'd say most guys dread the most.
Let's call it the "Cut In".
I'm sure you've seen those old-school movies where a guy and his chick are dancing in the ballroom at some fancy party, when some other guy walks up and asks the guy, "May I cut in?"
I've never understood that whole transaction, personally.
I mean, if it's a wedding and the bride's Uncle Pete wants a quick dance with the bride because his train leaves in 25 minutes, that's one thing.
But what d-bag who appears out of nowhere trying to dance with the woman you're with is so polite about it?
And who in their right mind answers such a ridiculous question affirmatively, right?
Well nowadays, at least, it would seem that when a guy would rather HE be the center of a woman's attention than YOU, things tend to play out a bit differently--even if his desired results are similar.
These other guys tend not to ask if they can "cut in". They just do.
The other day a guy scheduled some phone time with me specifically to get my thoughts on THIS very issue.
"So Scot", he started, "here's why I wanted to talk to you."
"OK man, what's on your mind?"
"Alright, here goes. Let's say you're at some sort of party or social event. You're talking to a girl, and WHAM...some other guy literally steps in between you and the girl, just blatantly turns his back to you and starts talking to her instead?"
Ouch, right? I think just about all of us have had that one happen to us...and it SUCKS, doesn't it?
I mean, talk about feeling like the wimp at the beach who just got sand kicked in his face. That's about as close to the non-seaside equivalent as I can think of.
And I have to tell you, the guy asking me the question was a military guy about six-feet tall.
So no matter who you are, there ALWAYS seems to be someone cocky enough to impose his will upon you with his physical presence.
That's the part that makes this such a difficult situation to handle for most guys.
What in the world are you freaking supposed to do?
Well, here's the deal. There IS an answer to that question, and it's the RIGHT answer.
Fair warning, though: You may or may not particularly like what I'm about to suggest at first. But if you're willing to think about it for a while it just might start making sense.
You see, 99.9% of all of us make a critical error in judgment the moment something like that happens to us.
We make it all about US--how WE'VE just been disrespected, how everyone much be watching US, and how WE are going to salvage OUR dignity and feed OUR ego.
That's a big mistake because it almost invariably leads to a stupid knee-jerk reaction.
Think about all of this for a second. What would you do?
For example, if some apparently overconfident guy who you think you could "take" in a fight does such a thing, you might grab him by the shoulder, spin him around and invite him to take a hike.
Heck, even if he's twice your size you may find the stones to do the same thing.
But if the guy really is twice your size, you might instead find yourself tapping him on the shoulder and saying, "Um...excuse me sir. I was...um...talking to the lady there. I don't know if you saw me, or um...whatever...so if you sort of wouldn't mind, um...?"
Or let's face it, you just might throw up your hands in frustration and walk away...in shame.
Well, here's something that might just surprise you. NONE of the options I've just presented are good ones.
That's right. Not even the one that sort of looks like you're "defending your manhood".
What I suggest instead is stopping in that split second when everything inside you tells you to "do something".
Instead, take a deep breath, get out of your own head and watch the woman.
Her reaction to what's happening will tell you everything you need to know.
What you're probably not thinking about in the heat of the moment is that the other guy has not only just committed an aggressive and downright rude act against you, he's committed one against HER also.
What's aggressive and rude in someone's eyes is usually aggressive and rude in EVERYONE'S eyes...everyone who has legitimate social skills, that is.
Since the "big four" attracts high quality woman, it follows suit that what's contrary to it wouldn't, no?
So if you're patient for what amounts to a matter of a few seconds, the woman will express distaste to the guy for what he did and tell him to get lost, especially if she was enjoying her conversation with you.
"Um...excuse me", she might say, "I'm in the middle of a conversation here. How rude!"
And if the guy continues trying to talk to her at that point?
THAT'S when you can leverage the very real "power shift" that just took place.
At that point YOU are the one who's back in the dominant position with the woman.
You simply walk around the guy so you're standing next to the woman and give him a look as if to casually indicate, "What, didn't you hear her? How awkward for you, man."
Then you can let a smile cross your face as if you're trying to restrain laughter.
Importantly, understand that it's that shift in the power position that will cause the other guy to back off.
Things will not have turned out as he arrogantly expected them to, so he'll likely make some lame excuse and pretend like nothing happened.
Unless he's not right in the head, he's not going to get aggressive with you for the same reason he's not going to continue running his mouth: He already looks like an idiot and anything further would only dig the hole deeper.
Every red-blooded man alive is violently allergic to that feeling.
And hey, if it turns out that he is in fact totally nuts, you simply take the woman's hand and remove her from the situation. All bets are off at that point.
So then, what if, on the other hand, you watch the woman's reaction and she appears to LIKE talking to this other guy better, for some crazy reason?
Let me assure you that this will NOT be a high percentage of the time. But if it DOES happen, consider two very logical thoughts.
First, if she entertains such aggressive rudeness, you're almost certainly dealing with a woman who would be a BAD choice for a girlfriend anyway. You're better off without her.
But more importantly, you've GOT to conclude that if she DOES allow the "cut in" to happen with her consent, she wasn't digging your chili to begin with.
Chalk it up to the game and find a woman more worthy of your conversation...without making anything of it.
"But Scot," someone said, "isn't that being a wuss?"
Listen up. I fully understand why you'd really want me to recommend slapping on a set of brass knuckles and clocking the guy one.
But what good would that do you, really?
Never mind the old adage that "he who hits first gets the assault charge". You don't want to spend the night in jail over this jerk or this indifferent woman.
The real point is this, however. The first rule of not giving your power away is that you can't "give away" what you never really had to begin with.
If this woman didn't like you, there IS no "power"--and there never WAS any.
So then, even if you do try to break bad with the guy or somehow salvage the conversation when the woman would rather be talking to him anyway, what happens?
Give yourself a gold star if your answer is, "He'll stand beside the woman, give you a look as if to indicate, 'What are YOU still doing here?' and try not to laugh his head off."
There IS no "getting your power back" when she has no interest in you, and that goes for any situation with a woman, by the way, whether you've known her ten seconds or ten years.
The best move is to re-charge your personal power elsewhere by moving on to a woman who is more interested.
Do you have any question? Leave your comment below and I will reply.