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The core premise there, as you'll recall, is that even though lots of men believe that women hold all the cards in the dating world and have the ability to choose from many men who are chasing them, that isn't necessarily how it has to go.
In reality, any man OR woman who perceives him OR herself to have options when it comes to dating is the one who has the power.
If you have lots of opportunities, you're not as concerned (read: "desperate") about any one in particular.
Meanwhile, it's a scarcity mentality that generally keeps the majority of people of either gender in "chasing mode".
That is, they say to themselves, "Oh man...I need a significant other, and if I could only get THAT one to like me then I'd finally be happy."
But it's when we relax in the notion that MOTOS (members of the other sex) are more likely to be attracted to us than not, THEN we can take our time to be selective.
AND...it also takes away the urgency of either "closing the deal" or perhaps having to endure the pain of a continued dry spell.
Now, while all of this tends to make good, solid sense to anyone who really gives it some thought, there are still plenty of guys who still can't bring themselves to accept the truth behind it.
They remain convinced that women have all the power.
Well, I'm sorry they feel that way, but until they're willing to challenge that mindset I'm really of little help to them.
They'll just keep on chasing...and wondering why women keep "selecting" some other guy (who wasn't chasing them).
This article isn't for them. However, it is for YOU if you really, truly WANT to be a chooser instead of a chaser but somehow aren't making the switch.
In other words, you're really, seriously interested in NOT acting needy or desperate anymore, but dammit...you just can't seem to stop, no matter how hard you try.
Let me tell you, I've been there myself. It's insanely frustrating.
Here are three possible reasons why your reality may not yet be reflecting your intentions:
1) IMPATIENCE
Deciding to be a chooser instead of a chaser is not necessarily a quick fix.
A major tenet of selecting from many options is being patient. And being patient is HARD.
It's incredibly easy to just lose your cool and gush a rapid-fire stream of attention toward a woman you just can't wait to get your hands on...literally.
You call her six times in a row and text her non-stop, just to make sure she's "still there".
One time I was on a phone call with a guy who told me point-blank, "Yeah, well...I already KNOW that I shouldn't call women several times a day and text them constantly. I KNOW it's not going to end well, but I can't help myself. I keep doing it anyway."
I suspect he's not alone. Not by a long shot.
You really can sense when you're messing things up, can't you?
Unfortunately, what it comes down to is this. If you just can't contain yourself, that's a pretty blatant sign of immaturity.
If some of you younger guys are wondering about how you can keep losing out to older guys so often, that's one of the key areas to look at. (Don't shoot the messenger here, I've most certainly been that guy myself in the past.)
2) FORCE OF HABIT
So many guys have been chasing women since they were fourteen years old that it's like beating their heads against the wall to try and turn things around at age 30 or 35.
The more set in your ways you are, the tougher it is going to be to change habits.
Things tend to get to the point where it doesn't even really matter whether what you're doing is genuinely good for you or not.
If what you do feels good and feels right based on the "routine" you've grown so accustomed to, you're going to keep doing it.
You're going to keep indulging yourself, even if what you're doing represents vice rather than virtue.
Crazily, this can go so far as to manifest itself as guys still "chasing" even when they recognize they've actually got options.
They're simply not exercising them, opting to keep operating in that serial "one-itis" mindset they've grown accustomed to.
What that means is that you'll have to be deliberately intentional and VERY disciplined about doing what it takes to change from "unconscious incompetence" to "unconscious competence", but the journey is well worth the considerable effort involved.
3) CONFUSION
This one is going to cause the light bulb to go on for lots of you guys out there.
Recently I was asked, "So Scot, if we're NOT chasing, then that means we need to somehow get women to chase US so that we can be in the position of choosing, right?"
Negatory, good buddy.
That way of thinking actually still assumes women have all the power, if you stop and think about it. We've got to wait around for THEM to initiate the interaction by chasing in such a scenario.
Believe it or not, that exact train of thought is how women who are NOT "choosers" justify their own erroneous claim that "men always have all the power".
Weird, I know...
But nevertheless, many of us as guys have no idea what "choosing" actually means.
Choosing is SELECTING...nothing more, nothing less.
So yes, you still initiate relationships with women, but you're doing so from a position of strength (i.e. having many options) as opposed to weakness (i.e. perceiving yourself as having few, if any options).
Make no mistake, both women AND men can and should be choosers. There doesn't have to be one who has strength at the direct expense of the other's right to personal power.
My wife and I BOTH chose each other from many options.
Neither of us was "weaker" than the other in that respect. We were two people with options, and therefore "choosing" power.
So taking all of that into consideration, there's no reason to feel as if you have to revert to chasing in the event that, say, women aren't automatically flocking to you and throwing themselves at you.
Proactivity is ALWAYS preferable, it's simply the abundance mindset that separates "choosers" from "chasers". Don't ever throw in the proverbial towel in confusion over that and simply go back to the previous status quo.
Do you have any question? Leave it below and I'll reply.