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But drama does more harm than good in a marriage. What started out as a spark of drama can quickly turn into embarrassing public arguments, using intimacy as a bargaining chip, and freezing one another out.
In short, drama creates unnecessary relationship issues and hinders the way couples are able to communicate with one another.
Even the happiest couple has relationship issues. But you shouldn't let drama get in the way of having a healthy marriage. Here are 8 tips for doing away with relationship drama.
DON'T: Freeze Out Your Spouse
One of the biggest relationship issues couples run into is the inability to communicate. When they don't know how to properly resolve conflict, they end up resorting to childish tactics to win an argument or get their way.
A common method of getting one's way is by freezing out their partner. Commonly referred to as "The Silent Treatment", a partner will refuse to speak to their spouse until the spouse relents. This often involves blatantly ignoring them, refusing to communicate, and going to bed angry.
Not only does this hurt your spouse's feelings and weaken the marriage, but research reveals that going to bed angry is actually bad for you! Results showed that people who went to bed angry held onto negative emotions longer than they would have if couples made up before bedtimes.
DO: Learn to Communicate
Communication is essential for a healthy relationship. Results from a study of 886 couples about their reasons for divorce, 53% said a lack of communication and inability to talk with one another were a major factor in separating.
Couples must learn to communicate in order to resolve their relationship issues. Talk to one another about all things, big and small.
Do not wait until insignificant relationship issues have spiraled out of control to address them. This will only cause further problems in the marriage.
Make an effort to listen to your partner without interruption and show empathy for their side of things. These are two important aspects of mature communication.
DON'T: Fight in Public
Is there anything more embarrassing than airing your dirty laundry in public? The last thing you want to be is the couple who fights at someone's wedding or at a family gathering. Not only is this awkward and humiliating for you, but it's also equally uncomfortable for the people who have to watch it.
Choosing to fight with a spouse invites unnecessary drama into your relationship. Don't be that couple.
DO: Choose Timing Wisely
Of course, you can't always pick where and when you're going to become irritated with your partner.
However, if you are feeling the need to have it out, bite your tongue and hold back until you have the opportunity to be alone with your spouse.
If this opportunity does not present itself and you absolutely must argue with your partner, excuse yourself from the social gathering and have this conversation in the privacy of your own home.
DON'T: Use Sex as a Weapon
When you're having relationship issues, it can be tempting to use sex as a weapon to get your way.
Never do this! Research indicates that sexual satisfaction predicted heightened emotional intimacy and trust in couples.
Further studies go on to show the importance of a sexual bond between partners, revealing that the oxytocin released during lovemaking lowers stress, increases fidelity in men, promotes passionate love and increases romantic involvements, and creates strong bonds within a marriage.
Clearly, this act isn't something that should be used as a bargaining chip.
DO: Resolve Conflict Properly
The point of an argument should not be who is right. It should not be used as a battleground to belittle or hurt your spouse.
Instead, disagreements should be seen as an opportunity to solve a problem.
You love your partner. You don't want to hurt their feelings. Respect their opinions by listening intently, hearing them out, and remaining calm during your discussion.
Speak with the intention of solving the issue at hand so that you can get back to a peaceful, healthy marriage.
DON’T: Threaten to Leave
Threatening to leave or divorce your spouse is childish and dramatic.
What horrible words to say to someone who you vowed to love and support!
The only time you should ever tell your spouse you want a divorce is if you are planning on divorcing them or are asking to go to marital counseling.
Do not threaten to leave in order to get your way. This is a hurtful and immature way of handling your problems.
DO: View Your Marriage as Sacred
Don't let relationship issues create drama in your marriage. Instead, view your marriage as something precious.
In a lengthy study about lasting marriages, results revealed that couples were more likely to stay together when they both viewed marriage as a sacred institution.
One way you can show you view your marriage as sacred is by staying true to your marriage vows to love and honor your mate. Be honest with them and stay faithful.
Another way you can show you value your marriage is by making time for one another. Couples experience heightened happiness and lowered stress when they spent time together.
Studies go on to show that couples who made quality time a priority each week lowered their risk of divorce, increased communication, and boosted sexual intimacy.
Every healthy marriage has relationship issues. It's how you handle these problems that make a difference in your relationship satisfaction. Learn how to communicate with your spouse, keep disagreements private, and learn how to resolve conflict respectfully. Doing these things will help you create a drama-free marriage.