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For us as guys, we dread the idea of getting "taken to the cleaners" in a future divorce almost as much as we're terrified that the woman we marry will gain 100 pounds within six months after the wedding.
But really, my sneaking suspicion is that the #1 fear we have is that she's going to turn into a raging psycho on us.
Maybe I'm projecting my own personal experience there, but man...a LOT of you have written to me with that exact concern.
This prompted me to remind Emily just this morning how much I appreciate that she's the most mentally stable woman I've ever met.
"You just don't know how rare that is, do you?"
She laughed and admitted that a lot of the guys she'd dated had said that very thing to her. It really does appear that a lot of the women ANY of us date go pretty bonkers on us, which really is a shame.
"But you know, you're just as rare of a guy", she said. "You actually like women. Do you know how many guys really only care about sex, without any regard for what else women can do for them?"
"Yes...um...I've written about that before, remember? Several times, actually."
"Well, we women ADORE that. You already know that even my friends see it, and sure enough...they all adore you. From what I can gather, you had a LOT of female friends back in school, didn't you? Well, that's why."
For all the fretting about getting banished to the "Just Be Friends Zone" I deal with from guys all over the world, there's a simple and POWERFUL truth at play there.
All "cordial" political gestures aside (which is all an invitation to "JBF" really is, typically), if we as guys REALLY, ACTUALLY find that women honestly WANT to be friends with us quite often, then that's a feather in our cap.
Why? Because if we know HOW to be friends with women and actually WANT to, then that means we APPRECIATE women at the holistic level.
AND...(I trust you're sitting down for this) that apparently means that we're actually MORE ATTRACTIVE to them as a direct result.
How's THAT for irony? But I believe it's the truth.
Basically, if you can friend women VOLUNTARILY as opposed to being involuntarily shoved into the "JBF Zone", you're going to find that TONS of them are sexually attracted to your appreciation for them.
Now careful, though. I'm NOT saying that you should go into "friends first" mode with women you're really hot for.
And I'm DEFINITELY not implying that getting "JBFed" is a good thing. It's still as much of a plain indicator of sexual DISinterest as ever.
All I'm suggesting is that if you know how to make women genuinely LIKE you at the relational level, then you should find it easier than most guys do to attract more of them sexually.
I know, I know. It's not exactly rocket science when you think about it rationally, right? But how many of us as guys really GET that?
Dale Carnegie noticed nearly a century ago that when we genuinely CARE about who someone else is as a person, it's ATTRACTIVE.
Considering how often beautiful women get objectified by guys, can you imagine how POWERFUL it is when a high quality "big four" man is willing to take a deeper interest?
And get this: It follows logically (and naturally), that the HOTTER a woman is, the MORE of a factor that is.
Just in case you're still scratching your head, consider this. How much more attractive to you is a woman who LIKES guys instead of being a "man hater"?
Don't you prefer to be given the benefit of the doubt that you're not a creep, perv or some sort of criminal simply because you're male? Of course you do.
And isn't it flat-out amazing when she LOVES the fact that you're male and she's female? You bet it is.
Well, take that feeling and increase it by an EXPONENTIAL factor. You'll then have an idea of how smitten a truly beautiful, sexy woman can get with a guy who shows some depth.
Weirdly, such guys really are pretty rare indeed...but they've always got the "inside track" on success with women. Are you up to the challenge?
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!