Tweet
Some guys are more comfortable without women in their lives than they are with doing something about it.
Psychologists would probably call that "fear of success", but I have a different term for it. I just can't decide whether to choose "laziness" or "delusion".
"If I don't have a Harley, tons of tattoos and a diamond earring of less than 2 carats, I'll get ZERO women in this city."
"I'm 6'4" and women say they have to strain their necks to talk to me. If I'd only stopped growing sometime sooner."
"Every man in this town graduated from Harvard or MIT, and I only went to Boston College."
Now, having read those three examples I exhort you to spare those rotten tomatoes you're fixin' to throw at the computer screen.
Believe me, I fully realize that some of you wish you had the money to laser off those ill-advised tats you're afraid a decent woman is going to notice.
And for every guy who thinks he's "too tall", there's at least one who thinks he's "too short".
And I know plenty of guys in general didn't go to college at all, let alone a perfectly good one like Boston College.
The bottom line is that a shocking number of us as guys seem to be looking for an excuse to give up in frustration.
That excuse can be anything, really, as long as it's something we can readily own personally...and blame ourselves accordingly.
Just to make my point, what if I told you that there are actually guys out there who think their MIT degree is what's keeping them from success with women?
It's as if whatever we are is what we perceive women not to want.
Guys come to me all the time with, "I'm X, Y, and Z [i.e. all things that they cannot change], Can you help me?"
No, I can't.
That's because in order for you (or any other guy) to do better with women, you've got to take personal ownership over your track to success instead of finding excuses to continue along the road to failure.
I realize that involves a bit of effort, although it may be less than you think if you'd only go for it.
It also involves leaving your "familiarity zone", if only for the interim.
Nevertheless, it's a common theme for guys to seek shelter behind what they can't change so that they can be lazy or feel sorry for themselves. After all, since their "deficiencies" are plainly evident, they can use them as irrefutable excuses.
And if on the odd chance one of their blessed excuses is refuted by pure logic, then another must be contrived in haste to replace it.
Meanwhile, that doesn't change the simple reality that tons of guys just like them end up with great women.
Tall or short, rich or poor, Ivy-League educated or not...it really doesn't matter.
Yes, those women have individual tastes, just like we as guys have. But rest completely assured that what they really want is a man who does the best with what he's got rather than "Mr. Perfect".
If for some reason you continue to doubt that, just look around. You'll see guys all around you who could theoretically share your "limiting belief" of choice, and they're with some fantastic women.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Latest Articles
Collapse
-
So often, I hear from people going through tough times in their relationships, and today, I want to address a topic that hits hard: "My husband slept with another woman while we were separated." It's a gut-wrenching situation, and I'm here to offer some informal, heartfelt advice to help you navigate this emotional rollercoaster.
A while back, I received a message from a client who had gone through a challenging separation. She told me about how her world had turned upside...-
Channel: Articles
09-03-2023, 07:37 PM -
-
Can drama help a relationship? Most couples would unanimously agree that the answer is no. Yet, believe it or not, some couples use drama as a form of excitement in their relationship. They get a rush from the occasional argument and enjoy the make-up sex that follows.
But drama does more harm than good in a marriage. What started out as a spark of drama can quickly turn into embarrassing public arguments, using intimacy as a bargaining chip, and freezing one another out.
...-
Channel: Articles
12-06-2018, 09:47 PM -
-
Recently, I got into a conversation with some friends over dinner about the subject of "attraction".
After several minutes of discussion, a somewhat amazing revelation hit me. Each respective person at the table had a different working definition for the word.
One person seemed to believe it was synonymous with "physically good looking".
Someone else was talking as if it meant all those things that matter other than physical looks, and...-
Channel: Articles
10-04-2017, 11:46 PM -
-
Most of us as guys get a raging case of "Tunnel Vision Disorder" when it comes to getting a woman we like to go out on a date with us.
We lock on to that as a goal, and it's all we care about.
As such, sometimes we end up going on dates with women we should never have agreed to, and we end up "hornswaggled".
"Hoodwinked". "Bamboozled". "Flim-flammed". TRICKED.
We might even fall into the trap...-
Channel: Articles
10-01-2017, 11:52 PM -
-
Okay, here's a quick exercise for you that should be fun.
Close your eyes and fantasize about something or someone.
Got a mental picture rolling? Okay good...
I have no idea how you're reading this with your eyes closed, but never mind that. By now I've made my point, which is this...
My bet is that regardless of what you just fantasized about, it distinctly involved something pleasurable.
In fact, you could probably forget the rest...-
Channel: Articles
10-01-2017, 11:27 PM -
-
How big a deal is the whole idea of approaching women without fear of rejection? Well, it's pretty massive.
So much so that almost invariably whenever I write about anything other than that, I get at least one e-mail or comment to the effect of, "Yeah, but...you didn't tell us how to meet women and deal with rejection."
Well, this time I don't plan on getting any such messages. That's because today we're going to hit that most sensitive of subjects.
...-
Channel: Articles
08-30-2017, 06:47 PM -