Tweet
Lately it's come to my attention that some guys...how should I put this?...aren't exactly doing the right thing to keep the greatest woman they've ever met in their lives.
As such, they tend to find that if and when they DO somehow attract a truly terrific woman into their world, she tends to want to LEAVE sooner than later.
This is only natural.
After all, if you're not confident, neuter (at best) rather than masculine, unable to make her feel safe and comfortable and fall short of exhibiting utmost character a great woman WILL want to leave you.
Nevertheless, the lengths some guys will go to in avoiding the far more effective way of keeping a terrific woman around never cease to amaze me.
Case in point.
Recently, one of Emily's attractive single friends stopped by to hang out for a while. Having known her for ages, we know she's a truly terrific person through and through.
So we were more than surprised to find out she was still dating the same guy that she had been seeing last month.
After all, she was talking about how she needed to break up with him even then.
Why in the world was she still with him?
Well, in her own words, "I've tried everything, but every time I tell him I'm leaving him he starts crying and begging me to stay. And I just tugs at my heartstrings."
As bad as it already sounded, the story got worse.
"I cut off the sex. I even stopped answering his phone calls. But he's still around. Finally I just got sick of his sad voicemail messages and gave in...at least until I can figure out a better way to break up with him."
Ultimately, to save you the story of all her justifications of his having been "hurt" by past girlfriends and having been raised by wolves, or whatever, I'll just sum it up for you: She's still with him because she feels sorry for him.
She's "Ms. Nice Girl", frankly. And this is what her world looks like as a result.
Now someone out there is saying, "Wow, really? If I just whine and cry and beg I can keep a great woman around? Maybe there IS some hope for me as a total groveler."
Don't go there, man.
Believe me when I tell you that even though our friend's "boyfriend" may still be in her life for now, it's a miserable existence...for both of them.
And raise your hand if you already know the whole scenario has the word "settle" written all over it.
But playing the "emotional weakness" card, as pathetic as it seems, is really only the first of a half-dozen ways I believe we as men can manipulate great women into staying with us when they'd really rather leave.
Rapid fire, here are the other five:
2) Buying Her Stuff
This especially includes making a big joint purchase together (i.e. a house or a car) when you already know the relationship isn't headed in the right direction.
But no matter what, if she's staying with you simply because you're a "meal ticket" when she'd really rather leave neither one of you will ever be happy.
For the record, if you've successfully managed to get a woman financially dependent on you to the point where she's essentially trapped as your "indentured servant", be advised that arrangement will end as soon as you can be replaced...count on it.
3) Rallying Her Friends To Your Cause
If you're a smooth talker you can pick up the phone and persuade a woman's friends that you really are the best thing that's ever happened to her and that they should help you out by calling her and reminding her so.
There's no better way than to really put the social pressure on her to stay with the guy everyone else likes, right?
And that should get her to genuinely change her mind instead of temporarily giving in...without any resentment whatsoever, right? Not.
4) Capitalizing On Any Weakness In Her Self-Esteem You Can Find
This one typically plays out something like this: "You'll never find a guy better than me, so don't even think about leaving me because you'll be all alone."
Essentially, this is nothing more than another style in which to beg a woman to settle for you, albeit a more composed one than crying and whining.
Still, It won't end well for either of you.
5) Religious Manipulation
When a woman is strong in her faith, it's not uncommon for an opportunistic guy who is flat-out desperate to keep her to play the "God told me we're perfect for each other" card.
The implication here, of course, is that if she breaks off the relationship she has pitted herself directly against the Higher Power in the universe.
Given how women are indeed hardwired to follow a man's lead, this particular tactic--along with the one that follows--may actually be indicative of pure, sociopathic evil above and beyond the raw desperation already exhibited by all six.
6) Thinly Veiled Threats
"If you break up with me I'll beat you up" is a bit extreme for all but the stupidest, lowest quality guys who are literally begging for trouble.
In fact, "If you leave me I'll kill your dog" is still a bit too extreme.
"If you leave me I'll KEEP your dog" is more par for the course here.
Beyond any shadow of a doubt, any of the six classes of tactics I've exposed here are 100% ridiculous to the core.
Never mind the fact that you'll look like a weakling at best and an Idiot/Jerk at worst if you run them, the truth is that none of them even work in the long run.
She still WANTS to leave, even if you temporarily succeed at getting her to hang around.
Really...isn't it just easier to be a "big four" man (confident, masculine as women define it, able to make her feel safe and comfortable in your presence, strong character) and have a willing woman in your life instead of a compliant one?
Wouldn't you rather rest knowing you're a chooser rather than a chaser instead of living as if the axe were going to fall at any second?
The good news is that how you go about attracting AND keeping a high quality woman is your choice...always.