Most girls have never really aspired to be sluts. It has always been a derogatory term.

But in reality, nowadays the word "slut" has devolved even further to connote an overarching attitude that transcends mere sexual openness.

For better or worse, most of us know it when we see it, even if some of us can't really put a finger on an objective definition of what it really is.

My best shot at defining "sluttiness" would be as follows: An attitude that focuses more on flaunting the potential for engaging in physical sex acts than on showcasing complete, holistic feminine sexuality.

Others might broaden the spectrum to include any indication on the part of a woman that she'll "have sex with anything that walks".

As such, a slut is apparently willing to cheapen herself to the point of being valued only as a "sex toy" for men.

She therefore sells herself short in terms of other feminine gifts --or even non-gender specific gifts--she might have.

This occurs (to men and women alike, for what it's worth) as a blatant lack of self-respect, which in turn breeds disrespect toward her on the part of others.

Therein lies the inherent problem with the term itself.

Slutty women generally succeed at creating sexual desire in men while simultaneously causing us to be indifferent toward --if not flatly repulsed by--everything else they represent.

I think the typical social pattern of sluttiness as it often plays out in the real world would corroborate my definition, at least at the basic level.

A whole book could be written on the psychology of sluttiness, no doubt.

Meanwhile, a woman who celebrates herself as more of a holistic feminine presence, if you will, can typically inspire immense sexual desire while maintaining total self-respect.

Amazing, isn't it?

The additional layer of wisdom such a woman has with regard to what really triggers a healthier level of male admiration tends to pay huge dividends in terms of how much she is respected and appreciated by the kind of guy she'd be happy with long-term.

And that's what causes a woman to seem like marriage material to us, right?

Importantly, there can be a significant amount of grey area with regard to just how slutty a woman is relative to her long-term potential factor. Most women are neither 100% slut nor 100% Sandra Dee-approved wife material.

Welcome to a key reason behind why some women can date a guy for, say, two years with only empty promises of getting engaged anytime soon.

Elsewhere, there's another woman who can't get past the third date with any guy before he shows up at her door with a little box of bling from Jared.

It's all about sexual desire relative to how much the guy respects her.

Respect is logically followed by trust, of course. So the sluttier a woman seems, the less a guys sees long-term potential there.

Interestingly, it's almost invariably women who are "nice" for the most part but who have a bit of a slutty streak who find themselves dating "commitment phobes".

Unfortunately, this grey area is often completely misunderstood by both men and women...if they have the wherewithal to acknowledge it at all.

Maybe you can relate to that, having been in a relationship with such a woman in the past who inspired a civil war in your mind as to whether you really felt comfortable marrying her or not.

After a couple in such a position finally breaks up, the woman may be left utterly confused when the same guy gets engaged to his next girlfriend within a matter of months or even weeks.

But now--surprise--I'm going to drop a BOMB on this whole conversation.

Here goes...ready?

As it turns out, that lack of sluttiness as an attitude per se often has zero correlation to a woman's potential enjoyment of sex...even lots of it.

Your future wife can be both completely respectable and completely horny and adventurous. It's just that she's not so public about her sexuality.

Unfortunately, this is something that a lot of guys who don't have much experience with high-quality women fail to comprehend, hence the widely-held belief that dating strippers or hiring prostitutes is the way to go if they want to actually have good sex.

For them "slut" = "sex" which is, of course, a belief that comes at the expense of a whole host of other, incredibly satisfying feminine gifts.

That's a tragic point of view to hold, and one that reeks of inexperience to both high-quality women AND the men who are truly effective with them.

As far as I know, no suitable word exists to describe such a woman who is both sexual AND respectable. But there should be.

I wish "vixen" worked, but there's a definition of that word that connotes more of a "female dog" than a "female fox", if you get my drift. Perhaps "siren" would be better.

As a final note, you may see a movement afoot on the Internets to to "reclaim" the word "slut" and give it a more positive connotation.

The problem with that is that the very word itself follows the classic phonetic pattern of derogatory/pejorative terms in the English language (e.g single-syllable, harsh consonants, etc.).

For the same reason, the "F word" will never carry the same meaning as "lovemaking".

All of that said, there is and will always be a place for role playing sluttiness (and the "F word", for that matter), even between couples with a healthy mutual respect...go figure.

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!