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Have you ever gone and looked at the comments on her pictures? They're virtually all the same aren't they?
Basically, it's a non-stop stream of pre-approval gushed mostly by guys who have never even met her, let alone gone out with her. Yet, they go on and on about how beautiful and sexy she is, perhaps even coming off as downright creepy.
No matter what, all of these guys share two things in common:
1) They have NO chance with her, and...
2) ...they're all desperately hoping that their shameless, over-the-top compliments and pick-up lines (in a public forum, no less) will somehow earn her favor.
The crazy part is that we're talking about a honkin' MASSIVE number of dudes here. Ultimately, the vast majority of men fall into that category...even though most really want OUT of it.
I still clearly remember one particular guy who summed up the situation perfectly the day he decided to hire me for 1-on-1 coaching: "I KNOW it's an attraction killer to gush over her and to send her two dozen texts every day, but I just CAN'T STOP."
Being needy and desperate truly is like a disease, isn't it?
I'm proud to report to you that every guy I work with gets over the problem eventually. Some handle it sooner than later while others find they have quite a deep pit to dig themselves out of.
You may be one of them. And if you are indeed a survivor of the dreaded disease I'm talking about, more power to you. You're most likely already seeing a major positive change in how women respond to you.
But today I want to address an unexpected twist on all of this that's rather bizarre, when you get right down to it.
Lately I've come to the conclusion that guys who successfully get over "Needy Desperation Disorder" (NDD) aren't necessarily out of the proverbial woods just yet.
Sometimes a fascinating phenomenon kicks in that's not unlike what other guys go through when they find the cure for that other dreaded ailment, "Mr. Nice Guy Disease".
They let the pendulum swing fully in the opposite direction.
That's right. Just like the former "Mr. Nice Guy" somehow believes he needs to turn into a total jerk instead, I've discovered that NDD survivors sometimes go out of their way to avoid ANY appearance of interest in a woman AT ALL.
And yes, we're talking about precisely the women they're wildly attracted to.
Somewhat predictably, these guys end up giving me another call.
"Man, I've conquered being needy and desperate and now I'm getting some seriously terrific women to go out with me. It's GREAT...until they stop returning my calls after the second date. What's up with that?"
Well, here's the answer. A major mistake guys make is going out of their way to appear non-needy when they're actually NOT needy.
For example, their pride over kicking the NDD habit gives them renewed resolve to NEVER give any woman a compliment...ever. This gets combined with a newfound cavalier attitude toward getting in touch with her more than once every several days.
The irony, though, is that even though they've succeeded well enough at NOT being needy or desperate, this sweeping shift in the opposite direction universally comes off as full-on DISINTEREST to women.
If you think about it, how could it NOT be perceived that way? Women are human, so they're going to gravitate toward taking situations at face value just like you would.
And if a woman actually likes you, she's going to start fearing the worst.
So please don't be confused when she launches a "pre-emptive strike" against you under such circumstances. That is, she sees the proverbial "writing on the wall" and dumps YOU before you get the chance to hurt her feelings.
What a revelation, right? And get this...the more popular and confident a woman is, the less time she'll have for guys who seem indifferent towards her.
Sure, women with lower self-esteem might revert to chasing you despite their frustration with you, but that's the thing: Guys who AREN'T needy or desperate tend to attract women who aren't either.
As such, when you get the "heave-ho" from a woman you actually like but who you've also been ignoring, don't see that as "rejection" or a sign that she didn't like you.
SHE was the one feeling rejected, LONG before you did.
One of the biggest tragedies in the dating world has got to be when two people who are actually crazy about each other end up breaking up because of some unfortunate game-playing, misunderstanding and/or miscommunication.
What we're talking about here would certainly apply.
So if you can relate to the situation I've just described, remember this. If you're NOT actually needy or desperate, you're not likely to APPEAR that way.
When you have dating options, a woman instinctively knows that she's got potential competition at all times. That social proof is all she needs to feel comfortable that you and she are in each other's "league", as it were.
At that point, it's more than just okay to let a woman know she's earned your attention, it's sort of a moral imperative. You've got to let a woman know you at least find her interesting, or else she won't feel comfortable expressing interest in you.
And you WANT that, remember? Killing neediness doesn't mean you've lost all emotion and don't actually appreciate when a woman likes you anymore.
So it once again comes down to LEADERSHIP.
The key to deserving what you want is balance. For sure, you don't want to pre-approve a beautiful woman as the image of perfection before you've gotten to know her some.
Indeed, you take a step back and evaluate her overall quality a bit. Sometimes it actually only takes a brief moment to establish your frame.
But when she duly impresses you, it's definitely the right thing to do to acknowledge that. And if you like to talk to her, call her up. If a flirty text comes to mind, send it.
The point is that if you've gotten past fear of loss and desperation, it actually becomes FUN to interact with women. So feel free to enjoy it. She'll appreciate your honesty, which is a big part of being a man of character.
Use the Comments box below and "Have Your Say" (even if you disagree with me). I really appreciate it when people reply with thoughtful comments. Honestly, it makes my day. Either way I will be glad to hear from you. Also forward this article to a friend. I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.