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That's not really our fault. We've been given mixed messages about chivalry in general.
Well, here's my take on that. I say you should still boldly and unabashedly go for it.
If there's a closed door and a woman who wants to walk through it, nut up and open it for her.
I really don't care whether she smiles and says, "thank you" or scowls and rips it out of your hand herself.
Know why? Because if she's the latter variety of woman you probably want none of her anyway.
Geez...any woman who is THAT uptight about doing away with "gender roles" is going to have serious problems igniting your masculinity with any last vestiges of femininity she's cared to retain...if any.
So why on Earth would you fear some sort of "rejection" in that case if you really have no interest anyway? And what's more, why potentially deny a much more appreciative woman the chance to make you feel like a man for a moment?
See, here's the thing. We as guys don't really open doors for women because we think women are too weak to open them for themselves.
The reality of the situation is much more useful.
What you're given with each opportunity to open a door for a woman is a breathtakingly elegant way to demonstrate that you know how to provide, protect, take the lead and have a woman's best interests at heart.
Wait a minute...that sound a lot like the magic formula for creating attraction, doesn't it?
Well, duh.
We don't open doors for women because they need us to, and we certainly don't open them because they command us to. So no, don't confuse it for an instance of "giving your power away". That's not the case either.
We open doors for women because we want to. It gives us a chance to feel like a man, and gives a woman the chance to feel like a woman. Last I checked, life is a lot nicer when we freely engage in that sexually polarized "dance".
So with that out of the way, here are some of the practical tips my friend and I covered during our conversation.
First, do yourself a favor and don't limit your door opening efforts to only sexually attractive women. Realize that you should have the best interests of EVERY woman at heart, so open the door for ANY woman when the opportunity presents itself.
Believe me, the beautiful, sexy ones are watching...and liking.
Next, what do you do when that potentially awkward situation arises when you're entering a building and a woman is trailing behind you at some distance?
I'd say that if she's within about 30 or 40 feet of you, go ahead and risk standing there holding the door a bit longer than is standard as you wait for her.
If she hustles up a bit when she sees you, no worries. It's better to err on the side of chivalry in that case.
And what about that other potentially weird situation when you have two doors in rapid succession, like at the entrance to shopping malls?
Well, you can handle that one easily too.
Simply announce to the woman as she's passing through the first door that you've got the second one for her also. That way she'll know to pause and wait for you.
Now that would be awkward.
We also talked about opening the car door for a woman, an especially important situation to get right.
As I've written about before, if it's at all possible you want to make sure YOU are the one who drives whenever taking a woman out.
He or she who drives is the one who's in control of the whole experience and is therefore in the leadership position.
Never, ever forget that.
So then, assuming you're driving here's how you make sure opening the car door for her goes smoothly.
First of all, if you drive a jacked up 4x4 pickup like Kenny Powers in season three of Eastbound & Down, realize you're NOT doing yourself any favors when it comes to women.
They really, really dislike trying to climb in and out of those things.
Once you're in possession of a vehicle with a somewhat conventional ride height, here's what you do.
Be sure to wait until you arrive at the passenger door to unlock the car. This heads her off at the pass should she try to jump in the car ahead of you.
Then you simply open the car door and let her get in. You don't have to make a grand motion. You don't even need to interrupt the normal flow of conversation in the process.
Importantly, make darned sure she's fully inside the car before closing the door. Pay attention here, gentlemen. You really don't what to close the door on her dress, let alone her leg.
At that point, you get the luxury of walking around the back of the car even as she's already in it. This is an excellent opportunity to burp or fart. And I'm being dead serious.
That unsavory thought aside, bear in mind that you've got a really nice setting for the first kiss to happen when you open a car door for a woman.
She's already feeling "warm fuzzies" for you because you're protecting her, taking the lead and keeping her best interests at heart.
You'll be naturally close physically as you open the door for her, so why not pause, watch for her to seize the moment, press her against the side of the car and kiss her brains out?
Then, of course, proceed as directed. She's got to get back in the car at some point. If she's a good girl, she might even reach over and unlatch your door for you once she's inside.
By now you've got to be sensing how much inherent value there can be in opening doors for women. By opening the door for her, you're potentially opening the door to lots more.
Do you have any question? Leave your comment below and I will reply.