By and large (whatever that means), the vast majority of us have no idea what we really want when choosing a woman.

We may feel as if "we'll know it when we see it" or something like that, but beyond ticking the obvious checkboxes (i.e. "Um...really hot and kind of fun to be with, I guess.") we don't ever objectively identify the exact details of who the woman of our dreams REALLY is.

Maybe it's because there's a stigma around being "too picky".

Maybe it's because we've been brainwashed to believe that either...

1) ...nobody really ever gets who they want, or worse...

2) ...that we' re shallow for having high standards in every way.

Well, let me unconditionally throw my full support toward being" too picky". And if someone ever tells you you're "shallow" for wanting it all, send him or her to me. I've got your back.

So with that formality out of the way, what do you do to make sure you're on the right track here?

Simple. You make an Excel spreadsheet.

In it, you list the TOP TEN traits you deem important in a woman. I don't care what they are. You are the sole judge of what's on the list.

Make a column for each trait.

Then, in each of several rows below type in the name of a woman you are currently dating or want to date. You can even list womenyou've known or dated in the past for reference.

Once you have the names written down, rank each woman from 1-10 under each respective trait in accordance with how you feel she measures up to the ultimate standard you have in mind.

Then, add up the numbers at the end of the column. Out of 100 possible points, each woman will have a grade.

Now I know what you're saying. This sure seems like a stone cold way to evaluate women.

Well it may look that way at first glance, but the truth is that most of us as guys tend to evaluate women very subjectively.

Going purely by a "seat of the pants" impression of how much we like a particular woman can get a bit confusing--or even misleading --when we know several women, can't it?

This is especially true when ALL of those women are fantastic, and ALL of whom are completely different as individuals.

So yes, it's assumed you already have an emotionally positive feeling toward each of the women you're considering.

Rather, the method I just described to you is a way of grounding your mindset, so you can effectively temper your subjective, emotional response to women with factors you've decided were important ahead of time.

Notice I said, "ahead of time". No fair making your spreadsheet AFTER you start dating someone.

Even though I did suggest running the numbers for previous girlfriends as a reference exercise, trust me when I tell you you're VERY LIKELY to weigh your spreadsheet in favor of women you WANT to score well if you already know them and like them.

So for that specific reason it's best to have a clean slate.

And now, here's what's arguably even more important than the list of traits you want: you've got to make a list of deal breakers as well.

This list has no limit with regard to the number of entries that can be on it. And it doesn't require any scaling from 1-10.

Rather, it's completely binary..."Yes" or "No".

And on that list are all the absolute non-starters that should unequivocally disqualify ANY woman you are seeing.

Again...I don't care what's actually ON the list. That's up to you.



But whatever you write down on that,list you've got to promise yourself RIGHT NOW that if you ever see any of it show up in a particular woman you are dating, it's breakup time.

No ifs, ands or buts. No passing "go" or collecting $200.

If you build both the spreadsheet and the deal breaker list and live by them closely, your chances of having to deal with excessive, mind-numbing and potentially life-altering drama will go WAY, WAY down.

In fact, most guys who overlook what I'm sharing with you today are almost sure to end up with the wrong woman...and as a direct result are equally likely to end up in divorce court.

If you think I'm kidding, simply look at the public statistics.

So like the list of traits you want, it's crucial that you create the deal breaker list BEFORE you start dating. That is, BEFORE you start dating someone who is so hot she causes you to excuse what may have been a clear deal breaker...if only you had written it down before meeting her.

The deal breaker list clears your head about what you DON'T want, much as the spreadsheet of desired traits gives you clarity about what you DO want.

Think of both lists as two halves of a pact you make with your selfat the very beginning of your journey to becoming amazing with women.

When it's in writing on paper...perhaps even endorsed with your own signature, you'll always have an immediate an undeniable touchstone to your reality as perceived long before ever being "clouded by beauty vision" (more on that tomorrow).