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Typically, what we do in those situations is suggest that the woman "hang out" with us, or that we "get coffee".
And all too often, the woman comes right out with, "Are you asking me out?"
Face it, if you're like I always used to be you're flat-out paralyzed in the moment by the question. And man, doesn't it just irk you to know end?
I mean, how's a guy supposed to keep his interest subtle and his moves casual when she just throws everything out on the table like that?
Why do women DO that...and so often, no less?
Well, here's the thing. My guess is that most of us think that women do that with the intention of getting the usual result: Knocking us off our game.
It's easy to think that because we've just had the process of asking a woman out made more difficult by the woman who we'd like to go out with, that she's TRYING to derail us.
At best we see it as a frustrating "test" of some sort. But at worst, we assume she's already communicating lack of interest.
And yes, if she's demonstrating clearly distasteful body language that may be the case.
But see, here's what I believe based on what I've seen.
Nine times out of ten, the woman has found whatever indirect or subtle method you're using to make plans with her just as irksome as you're now finding her inquisitive response to be.
Your subtlety in the name of lessening the possibility for "rejection" in the moment has only served to confuse her. She can't tell what's really on your mind, so she's forced to ASK.
Think about that for a second. It's not that she's got some ulterior motive. She simply wants to know if you're really, seriously asking her out or not.
A subtle variation on the theme is, of course, "Is this a date?" A woman may ask that question in lieu of, "Are you asking me out?", or it may come up when you're already out with her.
Either way, she's probably asking the question because SHE ISN'T SURE. Look closely and you'll see slight confusion or even tentative excitement written all over her face, not disgust.
Add all of this up, and the reality of it all is crystal clear. You've got to pick one road or the other.
Do you want to continue operating beneath a shroud of confusion when making plans with women--thereby dreading "the question" in whichever form it comes in?
Or would you rather not have to deal with awkwardness in that moment ever again?
If the latter, there's an all-conquering solution: Boldness.
If you've been hearing, "Are you asking me out?" from time to time it's because ONE or BOTH of you is too timid to be straight up about your intentions.
To be honest, most of the time it's happens in response to our own timid leadership.
Few guys seem to have the stones to clearly tell a woman that they like her, are interested in her and would like to see her Thursday night at 7pm.
But then again, it's also not beyond the realm of possibility that the woman is a bit overwhelmed by the idea of you being interested in her.
In other words, maybe she's asking "the question" because it all seems too good to be true to HER.
Is your self-image strong enough to accept that distinct possibility?
No matter what the psychological reasons are for a woman wondering aloud if you're asking her out, your response should be the same.
You definitely want to deliver a bold, resolute AFFIRMATIVE answer when called out.
A calm, cool, collected "yes" is all you need.
In fact, the more you try to elaborate and/or defend why you're asking her out in that context the worse off you'll be. You'll only come off as unsure of yourself.
And for sure, you don't want to backpedal, let alone back off completely.
You've already come this far, why destroy the opportunity altogether...especially if she's actually excited to go out with you?
The next time you're confronted with the kind of scenario we're discussing here, I invite you to go ahead, jump off the ledge, and confirm your intentions toward her with a solid "yes".
Not only can I assure you that "the question" is almost always a good sign, you'll feel terrific when she's excited to make plans with you.
There's nothing better than boldly going for what you want and having a woman respond powerfully to it.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!