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"You know, when you're not getting a whole lot of dates it seems like it's next to impossible to get a woman to show any interest whatsoever...let alone make the first move.
But now that I've got a girlfriend I really like, I'm noticing that ALL KINDS OF WOMEN are sending very clear attraction signals my way.
It's this just 'dumb luck'?"
Hmmm.
I told him that my educated guess was that "luck" had nothing to do with it. In fact, there was likely a very rational explanation for what he was noticing.
It's like this.
In the sales world, it's a well-known and long-established fact that people buy on the approval of others.
However, if LOTS of people want it, a "snowball effect" is likely to start where soon EVERYBODY will want it.
This is a big reason why customer testimonials are so valuable and why large companies are willing to pay big bucks for celebrity endorsements.
You can actually test this principle out for yourself.
The next time you're hanging with a friend at some sort of store, wait until you have several strangers around and then pick up something off the shelf that you already have or point out some snack that you've already tried.
In a voice that's just loud enough to be overheard, tell your friend how unbelievably great it is. Maybe give one quick detail in support of that, and then casually move on.
Next, pay attention out of the corner of your eye. Almost invariably someone nearby will pick up the item you were just discussing.
This is all part of human nature. If something is worth having, someone probably already has it.
Taken to an extreme, this is one reason why some (admittedly dysfunctional) people get off on dating ONLY people who are already married.
But even well-meaning people with a healthy mindset towards relationships with MOTOS (members of the other sex) tend to consider someone who someone else already considers attractive all the more attractive themselves.
Add it all up, and when you have an adoring girlfriend more girls tend to adore you.
But wait a second.
Sure, the explanation I just gave is more than logical. In fact, you may actually have heard it the whole story before.
Still, it really doesn't explain how or why you can suddenly start attracting women like wildfire when you're no longer single--even when your girlfriend ISN'T THERE WITH YOU.
Heck, it's altogether possible women will even be showing interest in you who are TOTAL STRANGERS and have no way of knowing whether you're single or not.
So how does THAT work?
Obviously, there's more to it in that case than ye olde "people buy on the approval of others" factor, right?
Indeed.
What's likely the case is that you're carrying yourself in a way that says you don't NEED to find a woman, whereas in the past "desperation" may have been written all over your face--whether you realized it or not.
Moreover, when you DO interact with women nowadays--even attractive ones--there's nothing really "at stake" for you.
In other words, because you don't WANT ANYTHING from the women around you, your need for "approval" from them is almost non-existent.
It's as if what they think of you is sort of beside the point, given the fact that you have a girlfriend already.
As such, perhaps ironically, you're getting a first-hand look at the sheer, raw power of what we talk about around here ALL THE TIME as being an all-important mindset, regardless of your "relationship status".
When you've ALREADY got a woman who likes you, there's not as much fear of how other women will respond to you (or not).
After all, in your world it no longer matters as long as you've got a great woman who truly digs you.
So then, since conversations with other women aren't seen as "competitions" leading to either "acceptance" or "rejection", you are more at ease, more confident and--frankly--more attractive.
Simply put, when you don't NEED approval from women, you tend to GET it from them.
No matter what the reason for it, having lots of women suddenly show interest in you can be super frustrating when you're in an exclusive relationship.
That's especially true if you've jumped into that arrangement rather quickly after a long time without female companionship.
But nevertheless, there's no reason to get bummed out by what's a very natural human phenomenon.
Remember, if you're with the RIGHT woman then you'll WANT to be in that steady relationship with her. You can rest assured you have the greatest woman of all no matter who else shows interest.
But on the other hand, even if seeing interest on the part of other women proves to be far too intriguing to you, that can still be a good thing. Maybe it's a clear signal that you should "raise the bar" instead of getting into a committed relationship with the woman you're currently with.
At the very least, you should be able to rest assured that should your current relationship ever end, you'll have plenty of other excellent options...as long as you can harness the mindset you CURRENTLY have and transform it into habit.
And if you're NOT seeing that one woman exclusively?
Well...let's just say that what I've shared with you today is a HUGE reason why guys who are seeing one woman usually find it LOTS easier to start dating others as well.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!