No, I'm not going to talk about a dance contest. And I'm definitely not going to talk about getting hit with divorce papers.

You can exhale now.

What I'm going to bring up instead is something SO subtle that most guys don't even realize how profoundly it's messing things up for them.

It actually all revolves around the idea of being served in the most literal sense.

An amazing number of men--I'd hazard to say the majority of us-- have a very hard time receiving service from others.

This applies across a broad spectrum.

On the job, we want to do most of the work on a project so we can rest assured it's done right, and so the boss is more likely to give us credit.

When the sink is broken, we want to fix it ourselves instead of calling a plumber. It usually isn't even about the money, it's about the pride.

We're notoriously stubborn about asking for directions.

We just flatly, straight-up don't want anyone's help.

After all, it's in our nature to be protectors and providers. That's what WE do. It's NOT what's done for us.

What does it say on the side of every police car? "To Protect And To Serve". It's no coincidence that most officers are men.

Add it all up and it stands to reason that we really detest anything that feels like WE are being "protected" and "served".

My barber shop of choice always tries to sell me on some "VIP level" plan of service where they would apparently throw hot towels on my face, massage my shoulders, shampoo my hair, wipe me off and pat me on the back.

I'd actually pay them the $5 extra NOT to do any of that.

I usually don't have time to get a haircut as it is, so just buzz the wig and run my card.

But even if I did have the time, getting all of that extra stuff done to me just sounds...awkward.

And indeed, I've never seen another dude getting the "VIP" deal performed on him any time I've ever been in there.

What about women, though?

They practically LIVE to get spa treatments, right?

And if they could hire someone to do everything they're not interested in and/or particularly good at doing themselves they would...gladly.

Have you ever noticed that amazingly often the "service" they look so forward to comes from other women?

Sure, there are plenty of times where they get a man involved to gladly perform his role of "protecting and serving".

But isn't it something how women tend to have a much more holistic, and dare I say healthier grasp of "service" as a two-way street?

So where does this leave us in our relationships with them?

Well, tragically enough it often leaves us doing freaking everything.

We "protect and serve" in the relationship, and yes, we often become women's heroes with great success.

But what happens when SHE wants to do something for us?

Are we sticking to our macho guns and telling her, "Nah, I'm good...I got it"?

Are we too busy taking care of things to let her take care of us once in a while?

Are we even comfortable with that concept at all, or does it sound "weak"?

Here's what happens if we fall too far into that trap. She ends up letting us do literally everything, for ourselves AND for her.

After all, she can't help but notice that's clearly how we want it ...right?

Don't kid yourself. If you've developed a habit of stubbornly refusing "service", your relationship with women will NOT be particularly fruitful, enjoyable and/or productive.

Women have certain feminine gifts they genuinely want to give.

Hospitality, joy, pleasure, comfort, fun. Come on now, doesn't any of that sound interesting to you?

But see, when women aren't extended the opportunity to give from the heart like that, they feel ripped-off. They may even find someone else to bestow their gifts upon.

When all of that happens, you may be tempted to grow bitter and upset, complaining about your lot in life. You may even get mad and argue with the woman in your life about it.

Before resorting to that, think clearly as to whether you've ever really allowed yourself to receive at anywhere near the level that you GIVE.

Ironically, wanting to do everything may actually be one of the most selfish attitudes we as men have.

Read that last line again and let it sink in.

So why not find some balance between giving and taking?

Let yourself be served.

Break the pattern first by appreciating perky waitresses and Asian flight attendants. After all, that's the easiest first step...if you're anything like me, I suppose.

Then, be glad the guy at the "Quick Lube" is there to change your oil even if you really could do it yourself.

Finally, realize that women WANT to bring you joy and comfort, and let them do so.

Get served. You just might like it.

By the way, here's a final important note. When you finally accept and appreciate what women do for you, even their version of a "quick lube" suddenly doesn't seem like an imposition...if you get my drift.

So if you're not getting the oral action you want, I may have just given you the cure to that little problem. Enjoy.

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!