How dare I tell "average" people that they should expect to earn the right to "never settle"? Come on now, what kind of Pollyanna advice is that?

How does an average person deserve exactly who he or she wants?

Fortunately, I'm up to the challenge of answering that question.

After all, "deserve what you want" is our battle cry around here.

And because I know you want practical answers from me instead of philosophical musings, here is a bulletized list of steps:


1) Kill The Very Word "Average" Itself

...And resort to Weapons Of Mass Destruction if that's what it takes to accomplish this in your life.

Anyone who considers him or herself "average" (let alone "below average") is acknowledging defeat before even attempting to deserve.

Unfortunately, most of the seven and a half billion of us on this planet are shockingly willing to accept mediocrity.

After all, it's effortless.

Therefore, we all run the risk of being lulled into living that lie.

Yes, I said "lie".

We allow ourselves to sleepwalk our way through life, and in doing so we never even sniff at reaching our potential.

Knowing that the majority of people passively watch life from the sidelines, actively doing something to promote excellence in your own reality pulls you by the collar out of the realm of the "average" by definition. Do you see how that works?

Years ago a great speaker named Bruce Thielemann borrowed a phrase originally coined by pro surfer Phil Edwards to refer to the apathetic masses, referring to them as "legions of the unjazzed".

His point was that most humans let the most powerful and meaningful aspects of what life has to offer slip quietly away having "pampered themselves into mediocrity".

What powerful language to ponder, right?

Unhitch yourself from the "unjazzed" bandwagon today, and begin deserving better immediately.


2) Your Presumptions Of Inadequacy May Point To Arrogance

You look in the mirror and see "average".

Realize, right here and right now, that your opinion has zero to do with mine or anyone else's on the subject.

Just because you are not your own "type" does not mean you are free to arrogantly presume your world view upon anyone else, let alone everyone else.


3) Don't Drink The Media's Purple Kool-Aid

Cult leader Jim Jones infamously (and irrevocably) will forever be associated with poisonous purple Kool-Aid.

Sometimes I can't help but think that the media is serving us a steady diet of a similar potion.

I have dated women I thought were fantastically beautiful, but who were disgusted by their own appearance.

They were not "supermodels" as the media-driven beauty products industry dictated, so they were therefore displeased.

The real-world truth is the countless guys who share my general preferences in women aren't attracted to "supermodels" anyway.

Actually, we're wildly attracted to women who are more like many of those women who in turn WISH they were supermodels.

That is to say, we are attracted at least until they express how displeased they are with themselves.

Oh, the irony.

Never discount the power of your own confidence, or lack thereof.

Which drives the next point home...


4) Live Up To Your Own Design Specs

There is nobody more amazing than someone who has clearly capitalized fully on who he or she is.

That's because the vast majority of people are not doing this.

Over the next few days, pay attention to the people around you. In your mind, give thought to who just isn't at their best.

Meanwhile, open your eyes to who seems exceptional to you and how their own personal effort has likely affected that.

One time I met a woman who habitually mesmerized nearly all men who met her.

Sure, she was fashionable, clean and well-groomed. But her sense of humor, confident presence and feminine charm set her apart as truly mind-blowing.

Note that all of that was under her full control.

As I got to know her, she shared how she grew up in poverty and was told she was "ugly" throughout her childhood.

Yet now she was a successful professional who had her pick of the sharpest men around.

Finally it occurred to me that if she had been anywhere close to as apathetic as the "legions of the unjazzed" I probably would never have even noticed her.

Nor would have the majority of other men, I'm guessing.

She was not superlative by accident. "Accidentally", as it were, she would have been "average". But she wasn't.


5) Know Thyself

Hey wait a minute, who are these people you think would "never want you" anyway?

Are these people you even truly WANT to deserve?

The more you date effectively, the more you are going to realize how valid the concept of "perfect imperfection" is.

I've written about this general concept elsewhere, of course, but the correlation to today's point is absolutely crucial.

We as human beings are typically attracted to people we can relate to.

If you are living by the tenets presented above, I can quite nearly guarantee you will be wildly attracted to the self- actualized other-gender version of yourself.

Why would you not be?

Give this concept a test drive.

If you have learned to deserve what you want, you will soon be graced with the knowledge of who it is you actually DO want.

And wait until you figure out you DO deserve that person. That's the best news there is.


Remember the "highest echelon on Earth" is subject to your definition.

Have a clear understanding of that, and your efforts to deserve what you want will be focused and therefore highly effective.

And yes, those efforts will produce magical results. Guaranteed.