Tweet
As I went around to various site walkthroughs and bid openings, I had the opportunity to meet most of my local competitors.
To be honest, the vast majority of them were pretty good people. Contrary to conventional wisdom, I even made friends with some of them and had a beer or two with them from time to time.
After all, these were the kind of people I had plenty in common with. Rarely did we talk "business" per se, but it was fun to shoot the breeze about the latest technology, etc.
Most of my friends had read the same books on how to be a good sales professional that I did.
Because of that, and in part because of the nature of the business we were in, we all seemed to know that our customers were intimidated by this newfangled "Internet" stuff, so gaining their trust was all-important.
What's more, we all knew--as if instinctively--that our customers were really excited about what the Internet and digital communications meant to their business. As such, our job was not to force the issue but rather to simply help them get what they needed.
As you can guess, I had some worthy competition for sure.
And we'd all go around our metro area winning a few deals and losing a few...usually to the tune of about $10-$25K a shot.
Then one day, something ridiculous happened.
One of the largest school districts in the area announced that they were doing a major infrastructure upgrade.
Their entire telecommunications system would be replaced, and a state-of-the-art computer network system would be implemented featuring cutting-edge video for "distance learning". (Remember, this was 1996.)
At the pre-bid conference, the twenty or thirty competitors in attendance quickly realized that this deal was different.
It was going to be worth over a million dollars.
Over the course of the next few weeks while the bid was out, something wild happened.
Those same "friends" of mine didn't want to go get a beer anymore.
Instead, I was getting third-hand information from the prospective customer that my company's business reputation had been scurrilously run through the wringer by our competitors during meetings with them, sometimes along with my personal integrity.
Concurrently, stories of "special favors" having been granted to the school district's superintendent, sets of golf clubs mysteriously appearing on the doorsteps of board members and even rumors of "under the table" deals had surfaced.
As some competitors were weeded out through the process, claims of certain other systems' capabilities were being openly exaggerated-- preying on the customer's lack of technical expertise as a public entity seeking to implement very new technology.
But here's the crazy thing: I knew most of my competitors. And every single competitor for this deal already KNEW what worked in the sales world.
If you represent yourself and the product with integrity, the customer WANTS to buy.
And if you take care of them, they'll buy again and again.
What's more, when it comes to high ticket sales, the "used car guy" approach flat-out fails...every single time.
Furthermore, "badmouthing" the competition and bribing people are likewise major no-nos.
But putting a seven-figure price tag on this particular deal had changed things.
Suddenly, even seasoned professionals were back to square one... acting like hungry "newbies" whose next pack of ramen noodles depended upon "closing".
Admittedly, while in the midst of all this it was hard NOT to see dollar signs.
For just about every salesperson involved, landing this deal would have meant a MASSIVE commission check--probably equal to the entire previous year's pay combined.
But when the focus regressed to fantasizing about the joy of winning combined with the fear of loss, most involved with this million dollar deal threw every bit of sales training they had ever received right out the window.
They had been going "by the book", but "the book" didn't have a chapter in it to prepare them for the big time. As a result, the stakes involved just flat-out fried everyone's circuits.
SO WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS?
Success with women can follow a very similar pattern.
When we first decide we want to get better with women, we learn what we think is going to get us somewhere (read: "anywhere") as quickly as possible.
Then, we really do start seeing some success. We start attracting some pretty decent women.
I mean for SOME of us, going from zero to reasonable success simply involves becoming motivated to overcome "approach anxiety" and actually get phone numbers from women.
And what do you know? Women REALLY DO give us their phone numbers pretty often...when we're relaxed yet assertive enough to make it happen.
And once we start attracting some women, we think we've learned enough to get by. In effect, the mindset is very similar to that of the salesperson who gains "mastery" over getting his or her share of the mid-range deals to be had out there.
But here's the BIG QUESTION.
How are YOU going to react when you somehow find yourself face to face with the BIG DEAL?
By that I mean the greatest woman you've ever imagined...and she's ATTRACTED?
Are you really going to be able to "fly by instruments" and TRUST that what you have learned about attracting women is still going to work?
OR...will everything you've ever learned about attraction and seduction go out the window as you revert to "trying to impress" her, being "Mr. Nice Guy" and "playing it safe" so you won't blow it?
Based on the significant numbers of guys who write to me telling me that they can attract average women all day long but never seem to make it work with the women they are truly most attracted to, my guess is that this is a MAJOR, MAJOR widespread problem.
Really, what we're talking about here is becoming the type of guy who is SO CONFIDENT in the truth regarding what attracts women that he NEVER second guesses that truth when the chips are down.
Ultimately, some guys really are "faking it 'til they make it" in their interactions with women.
They learn some cool stuff, but it never really becomes habit. It never really becomes part of who they truly are.
But here's the thing.
When you know that the masculine, confident man of high-character who inspires confidence in women really does deserve the highest echelon of women--and when being that guy has become habit for you, then there's no falling back to your old ways.
Instead of needing to re-read the directions and having to ask, "What do I do next?" every time, you'll authentically be the man who has truly become attractive to great women.
So when you find yourself face-to-face with the woman you've always dreamed of, there's no change of plans.
"One-itis" disasters go out the window when that's the case also, by the way.
There will be zero deviation between how you handle average women versus extremely desirable women.
All because you have made a HABIT of being attractive.
Said differently, it's no longer about WHAT YOU DO, it's about WHO YOU ARE.
Attracting the greatest woman you've ever known is NOT a "game". It's a radical lifestyle change.
Authentic, consistent representation of who you are and what you're about wins the "big deals" in business, even as competitors fall apart at the seams.
And the exact same is true when it comes to attracting the woman who is a "big deal" to you.
Either you have internalized what makes you attractive, or you'll come undone.
Welcome to why so many of the most desirable women on Earth have an infinitely harder time finding a great man than even average women.
What about you? Can you meet this challenge? Can you make a HABIT of attracting women that becomes authentic?
If you can, you'll set yourself apart as a being ready for the "big deal".
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!