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Some of you have asked how I come up with so many different topics, and I have to tell you...it's just not that hard to do.
Every single time I'm on a live coaching call, at least one great topic for a future article just pops out of the blue.
Yet at the same time, it seems like the same worn-out topics get re-hashed again and again elsewhere.
I understand that a lot of guys actually like it that way, but let's face it: If you want to truly master the art of succeeding with women, you're going to have to dig way, way deeper than most men ever do.
That, my friends and neighbors, is exactly how you make the fabled "unfair advantage" a stone-cold reality in your life. You go beyond.
It goes like this: One key skill you've got to learn is how to conduct yourself when on a first meeting with a woman you're not completely sure about just yet.
I know what you're already saying.
"If you're not sure, shouldn't that be an automatic 'no'? I mean, aren't you the guy who's always harping on 'not settling'?
Not so fast.
You may be completely sold on how she looks and how she carries herself. You know, all the things you make snap judgments about on sight.
And while I know it's completely possible for women to increase in apparent physical beauty (or the opposite) as you get to know them personally, I will indeed vouch for the fact that your "100 out of 100" will very likely knock your socks off in the looks department from the moment you first notice her.
But just because "instant attraction" is a reality doesn't mean that "love at first sight" isn't still a dangerous myth.
Every woman you meet had better pass some hard tests.
By now you know what those are. She's got to actually LIKE MEN. She's got to LIKE HERSELF. And she's got to be a woman of strong character.
She also has to enjoy being a woman--which ALL (yes, he said all) intrinsically feminine women do.
So while you're sitting in front of her trying to decipher her "code" and getting to know what's really going on in her head, here are some things to keep in mind.
1) CONGRATULATE YOURSELF FOR NOT FALLING ALL OVER YOURSELF TRYING TO IMPRESS HER
That's right. By now the dangers of "pre-qualification" have been drilled into your mind. You don't need me to do that again for you.
And if you are indeed no longer "clouded by beauty-vision" pat yourself on the back.
Realize you are among a very small minority of men who can keep their heads together when confronted (and I think that's the correct word) with the prospect of meeting a woman who's more physically attractive than most.
The crazy irony is that not only will this give you a clear head about making sure the woman you're in front of is the "whole package" instead of just a pretty face, your confidence and masculinity as displayed by virtue of this factor alone is going to make that pretty face smile.
That means she's more likely to want you, which brings up the second step...
2) LEARN THE ART OF "CHARM THROTTLING"
I've written about this before in detail. Attractive women who deal with a string of guys who are "pre-qualifier" types do it all the time.
And as the chooser rather than the chaser you're going to have to do likewise.
Men of high character who are able to project masculine confidence while putting a woman completely at ease in his presence are rare.
Welcome to why we talk about the "big four" around here: Because THEY WORK.
So when you are reasonably comfortable that a woman you are out with is really starting to like you, remember a simple but powerful concept.
We as men usually need a 2x4 upside the head to figure out a woman is attracted. So if you KNOW she likes you, it's probable that she REALLY likes you.
That means in order to give yourself time to make a final decision regarding whether to continue seeing a woman or not, it's important that you lay back and tone it down a bit.
By this I mean don't banter with her quite as much. Be a bit more reserved in the true sense of the word. Hold some of your charm back a bit.
Once you know the possibility of a second date is there for you, save the rest for another time. Otherwise, she could "fall in love" with you, and any decision you make to cut things off could be more hurtful to her than it had to be.
Worse, it could result in you earning yourself a stalker.
3) TELL HER WHAT TO EXPECT, WITHOUT PRESSURING HER
If you're not quite at the level where you want to be yet when it comes to creating attraction with women, I'm sure the first two points above were nothing short of preposterous for you to read.
No worries. As I've said before, my vision for you is probably much larger than even what you have for yourself at this very moment.
But you'll get to this point where all of this stuff matters sooner or later, which is why you need to know what the real deal is NOW.
And when that time comes, there's no reason why SHE shouldn't know it also.
Basically, it's okay to tell her exactly what your "process" is for evaluating women--without, of course, putting it in those exact words. That would be more arrogant than you'd likely be able to walk away from without a limp.
But you DO explain to her that you really enjoy meeting women socially, and that you've made lots of great friends that way.
Further, you greatly value every step to getting to know someone well...and you don't enter into relationships lightly.
Ever been with a woman who kept saying things like, "friends first" and "I like to get to know someone before I date him"?
Did you notice that's usually a woman who is in high demand by men?
You guessed it. That was her way of accomplishing everything we're talking about here.
If you've ever heard such musings from women, did you sense what was going on at the time or did you completely miss it--perhaps soldiering on trying to impress her more?
Well, my guess is that she'll "get it" when a similar message comes
from you.
And if not, here's the final bullet point...
4) DON'T LET HER RUSH YOU
Yep...some women can perform their own version of "soldiering onward".
They'll talk about the chemistry between the two of you. They'll start dreaming aloud about the future. They may even ask you what you might want to name your kids someday.
If they're really bent on becoming your girlfriend, even women who led with sexual conservatism may come on very strong a lot sooner than you expected...perhaps along with a carefully timed discourse on how she only has sex with a guy she's "in a relationship with".
I think you get the idea. The point is that even top-notch women truly will start to chase you at some point in your well-played interactions with them.
If you've never seen this happen in real life before, I can assure you it goes on.
When women chase, however, they tend to do so after they've gotten
to know you some.
We as guys tend to begin the chase immediately on sight ...which is a major clue as to why so many men are "chasers". They lead, basically.
Keep your composure as a man with options.
Don't let yourself be tempted into a sexual situation with a woman who may very well be so into you already that she (ahem) "forgets" what her actual birth control situation is.
Don't let her emotional displays tug at your heart strings.
In short, don't be manipulated.
Listen, I realize that what I've just shared with you may sound like advanced stuff. But the best time to get the hang of it is NOW rather than later.
The wisdom to know which women to continue seeing and which to stay "friends" with (or cut ties to completely) is a MUST HAVE skill. Don't kid yourself.
Consider how it would probably take you both hands to count how many men you know who are married to a physically beautiful woman but who are miserable--or who have been ruined by a divorce from her--and you'll get the point.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!