The other day my wife and I were looking at old pictures together. Even though we've known each other for over ten years, this is still a lot of fun--and a real "eye opener".

As we flipped through albums, pictures of childhood turned into pictures of us as teenagers.

There was bad hair, unthinkable clothes, and way too many embarrassing moments--none of which had seen the light of day for years. But all was now exposed for both of us, whether we were seeing it for the very first time or reliving it as a memory.

Finally, my wife blurted out, "You know, I totally wouldn't have gone out with you back then."

The amused giggle accompanying her statement only slightly camouflaged how dead serious she was.

My response may or may not have surprised her, but it was what it was: "Well, for what it's worth, I wouldn't have gone out with me either."

Indeed. Years ago I was a different guy.

I was the approval-seeking machine who once had a girl stop me dead in my tracks on a first date and tell me, "Scot...it's okay. I'm impressed. You can stop trying now."

Along the same lines, my desire to impress everyone caused me to blurt out stupid things, especially when I felt the slightest bit intimidated by how cool the people around me were.

All of this was somehow blatantly evident in the pictures, unfortunately.

Moreover, I was the book-smart "know it all" with practically zero common sense. So I had an amazing knack for making people feel stupid while simultaneously looking like an idiot. Go figure.

And to top it all off, I was all talk and no action.

As I've reassured you guys of often before, I was the uncrowned king of "shyness induced snobbery". If I found a woman sexy, I made sure to blow her off like a rusty muffler. You know...just to make sure she didn't suspect I was attracted to her or anything.

But here's another angle. my wife was a different girl, too.

By her own admission, my wife used to be ultra-conservative when it came to adventurous stuff. That means there wasn't a snowball's chance in Yuma, AZ she would have ever gone for a ride with me on that bright green Kawasaki ZX-7 that I used to spend most of my free time on.

Nowadays, she's been a BMX racing champion, a rock climber, dove the Great Barrier Reef, spelunked in Nicaragua, climbed temples in Cambodia, camped out with lions in the Serengeti and ridden camels in the streets of Cairo.

She was even along for the ride the first time I ever flew an airplane--which means she has more guts than I would have had. Ha!

The point is that people change. That means you've changed, and it's always good to take inventory of that...for two reasons.

The first is it's important to look back and recognize how far you've come.

Sometimes it's easy to miss that because it all tends to happen in slow motion, relatively speaking. The danger there is that we'll continue to focus on what's wrong and exasperate ourselves.

The road to true excellence is life-long, so beating ourselves up is not particularly beneficial.

Know this: If you care about becoming a better man, it likely means you already are a better man than you used to be. Therefore, you can attract better women than you used to.

But second, for all of my foibles that I worked hard to beat into submission over the years, there were some pretty cool things about me when I was younger also.

So some women looked past my "growing points" and took a ride with me on my motorcycle anyway.

As a young man I had an almost invincible idealism that I could change the world.

So as I "mature", I want to make sure I don't lose that adventurous, fun-loving spirit that has been attractive all along.

Similarly, I don't want to get jaded by the inevitable rough patches that life has thrown at me.

By looking back and remembering what made life good for me back in the day, I can better see the balance between necessary change and sustaining the positives.

But fair warning--that probably means enduring some old photos that you wouldn't want on Facebook.

And let's just hope my Dad never busts out those home videos from when I was 16. Despite the message of today's newsletter, there really is a threshold where positive insight morphs into pure torture.

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!