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Man, that used to be the biggest pet peeve of mine.
And let me tell you, it's only after years of podcasting and recording videos that I've come somewhat close to curing myself of the problem.
So yeah, I get it.
I realize that the process of leaving a woman a voice mail can be one of the most formidable moments in the dating world...possibly even more nerve-wracking than it was to approach her to begin with.
Honestly? It's no wonder so many guys just text her instead.
After all, it's the year 2016 and texting is ubiquitious, yet still as fraught with the inherent dangers of non-verbal communication as always.
And yes, many women don't talk on their phones hardly at all nowadays. That means they're really only expecting you to text them anyway.
But ultimately, i remain convinced it's still better to get her on the phone if you can.
Talking can ignite her feminine sensors in an tangible way. There's something about the maleness of your voice interacting with the femaleness of hers that heightens sexual tension.
That's LOST over text, and she knows it.
But what's more, women aren't dummies. They fully realize that it takes guts for you to pick up the phone and perform without a net.
And yes, whenever you man up and show some sack, you can bet there's a woman out there who's getting turned on by it.
So hey...why not do what you can to make that happen, right?
The good news is modern telecommunication technology really has cut us guys a much-needed break over the years. You're not really committed to getting your first take right or else anymore.
For years here in The States there were a few maverick mobile companies that wouldn't fall in line with the others who had standardized on the "pound sign" as the universal signal that you wanted options rather than to send your message immediately.
They've long since come around, however, so we need not fear hearing the dreaded, "Thank you...your message has been sent" instead of, "If you are satisfied with your message, press one...if you'd like to erase and re-record, press two."
That's a relief, for sure.
So nowadays all that's left is to clue ourselves in to exactly WHEN we'd better roll the dice on having to try another take rather than hanging on to our first go at it with white knuckles.
Yeah, it flat-out sucks to pile pressure on yourself not to "mess up". But here are seven instances when you really should pull the plug and try again:
If you find yourself in any one of these situations that follow, hit that "pound sign" without hesitation:
1) Heyyyy...You'd Better Bail
It's a filthy, rotten habit...yet I'd go so far as to say the majority of us do it.
Whenever we want to impress someone, we subconsciously build "hype" into our tone of voice and even into our choice of words.
A dead giveaway that you're suffering from this unfortunate ailment is if you start your message with a slightly drawn-out and perhaps higher-pitched rendering of, "Heyyy...".
You know what I'm talking about.
"Heyyyyy, Jennifer! It's me Mark..."
The message you're sending is already the WRONG one...literally from the very first word.
Proceed no further. Hit the little button with the number sign on it and think of another way to kick off the message...like maybe by saying substantially the same thing, but without the "Heyyyyy" part.
2) Just Start All Over
Having read #1 above do you find it just a little depressing that you can kill your chances with a woman on voice mail from the very first word you say?
Well, unfortunately some guys tend to throw even more dirt on themselves when they start the SECOND sentence of their message.
That's right. After "Heyyyyy, Jennifer" often comes, "I JUST wanted to call you and..."
Cut the word "just" from your voicemail vocabulary. Do it now.
By inserting a "just" into your message, you're subtly implying that you already know you're probably bothering her. You're making it clear that you're only asking (read: "supplicating") a simple, little favor from her...and it's JUST one thing.
If you want her to call you back, the last thing you want to subcommunicate is that YOU think it's a waste of time to talk to you, right?
3) Repetition, Redundancy And Recapitulation
One time I happened across a woman's online profile that read, "the three things I value in a man are honesty, sincerity and truthfulness".
I couldn't resist responding to her with, "That's great. The three things I value in a woman are repetition, redundancy and recapitulation. We might be soulmates, I tell you."
She didn't write back. Then again, it was clearly evident from the rest of her profile that she didn't have much of a sense of humor.
But never mind that. The point here is that if you ever find yourself saying something to the effect of, "Like I said..." then it's time to erase and re-record.
Here's a freebie while I'm at it: If you ever THINK you're rambling and/or leaving too long a message, you're probably right.
4) Say The Word
Who knows why it happens, but it often does when we load pressure on ourselves.
We say the WRONG word. Some "Freudian slip" happens and even YOU wonder what you were thinking.
Or who knows? Maybe you go the whole nine yards and flat out trip all over your tongue for no apparent reason.
Don't attempt a recovery on the fly. Hit the button, take a deep breath (before the recording actually starts over, please) and give it another shot.
5) The Train Has Left The Station
Another disaster that tends to happen when we're feeling that "stage fright" of leaving an important voicemail is that we get so wadded up in worry that we flat-out lose our train of thought.
Don't resort to mumbling something like, "Uh...wait a minute. What was I going to say...um...oh yeah..."
Go ahead and take it from the top, maestro.
6) Dropping Reminders
Let's cut to the chase here. If you ever feel like you have to refresh a woman's memory on who you are and where she met you, it's already a lost cause.
If she was even remotely attracted to you, she remembers you. Trust that from now on. It'll be okay.
And if you're ever unable to contain yourself nevertheless, slap yourself upside the head and hit "#" before you can do any real damage.
7) "Alpha-ed" By The System
To be honest, I shouldn't even have to bring up this last one. But my instinct tells me I'd better anyway.
Some mobile systems only allow voicemail messages that don't exceed a certain length.
Now, while it may be unnerving to have the automated system rudely interrupt you mid-sentence, I'm of the humble belief that this feature might actually be your best friend.
You see, your voice mail message to ANY woman should be as short as possible anyway. Consider getting "alpha-ed" by the voicemail system your wake up call: Your messages are probably TOO long.
The general rule to follow is that the longer your soliloquy is, the more needy and desperate you're sounding. That's a fact, pardner.
But whatever you do, never simply shrug your shoulders and passively hang up if interrupted by the system. That won't end well for you.
Before we close, it might be helpful to offer a word on what you SHOULD say when leaving a voice mail.
This may shock you, but probably the best thing you can do is keep it simple.
"What's up, Jennifer? This is Mike. Catch up with you soon."
You could do WAY worse than that. No begging. No bargaining. No sales pitch.
Basically, you should leave the exact same message to an attractive woman that you would for anyone else who you expect to call you back.
Think about that for a second. It makes perfect sense, doesn't it?
It's amazing how people you expect to call you back generally do, and people you don't expect to call you back generally do not.
Wire your mindset for success, and watch good things happen.
What did I miss? Leave it in the comments.