Every red-blooded dating coach would agree that the vast majority of women love it when guys tease them and engage them in witty, playful conversation.

You're taught to do it. You're even taught HOW to do it.

But I've never really seen a solid explanation of WHY it works.

I have this sneaking suspicion that knowing the underlying "reason why" is a much larger part of helping us to actually learn a skill than most of us think.

For example, unless you know what a clutch actually does, it's a lot harder to learn to drive a car with a manual transmission.

Could I have just uncovered the reason why so many guys struggle with getting the whole "teasing and banter" ball rolling with women?

Maybe so.

So on with it.

You know how I always harp on making a woman feel safe and comfortable in your presence?

Well here it is: That's got everything to do with why teasing women and playfully bantering with them is so magical.

Now obviously, when you "bring out the playful" in her you're making her feel more like a woman. That leadership on your part makes her hot for you because she recognizes your leadership in seeking out her feminine nature.

On one level, that makes her more confident that you're a real man.

That alone gives her a measure of safety.

But here's the deeper part that most guys miss.

When you tease a woman and/or are willing to say random, offhand or even preposterous things to her, that shows her--very clearly, mind you--that you have NO FEAR of her.

Believe me, most women are 100% aware that if a man is reduced to a sniveling wad of nerves when even faced with talking to her, then there's just no way he's going to be fit to be that protector

(and by proxy, a provider) anytime the stakes are any higher than that.

In a woman's mind, that would be...um...just about any time.

After all, every last woman I've ever informed of the concept of "approach anxiety" has responded with utter surprise. "What? I'm just a girl!"

Heck, I was on a pretty big time radio show yesterday to allegedly talk about Valentine's Day, and the female host unexpectedly brought that topic up out of nowhere...wondering if it was really true.

Indeed. Men shouldn't be afraid of women.

Being "Mr. Nice Guy", keeping conversation neuter and playing it

safe have "fear of loss" scribbled all over them. Women can sense the cowardice in an instant.

And obviously, if you wimp out from even talking to her, it's all over before it has even started.

But when you boldly tease her and make light conversation with her, you actively demonstrate you don't fear her in any way.

You don't fear offending her by merely being interested. You're not worried

about bothering her. You're not concerned about saying the "wrong thing".

Perhaps most importantly, you're not deathly afraid of losing her before you've even attracted her.

When it comes to teasing women and bantering with them, remember always to portray yourself as a decent human being. Importantly, we're not talking about insulting women here or coming off as a physical threat in any way.

"Teasing" is simply being playful in a challenging way that shows you are not intimidated. Safety and security are still what matter most, and that's never accomplished by diminishing her or invading her space.

In order to wrap your head around this more fully, think in terms of giving her the fun, playful, positive attention all women crave, but without shamelessly pre-approving her as some sort of superhuman goddess.

It's not so much the words you use that create attraction, so don't sweat the details. It's that confident yet easy-going vibe and lack of fear that shows you have real potential to be a protector.

That's what turns her on at the primal level. Even if she can't explain why that is, I just did.

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!