Okay...before we get too far into this, I'm going to make something that should already be pretty obvious even more crystal clear.

That's this: If you're a total freakazoid-approved weirdo, you're not going to attract high quality women.

I trust that makes sense to you, especially considering how much safety and security matters to women.

So no, you don't want to stand out from the crowd so much that you, say, encourage FBI surveillance and/or scare small children.

But on the other hand, here's something else that's mission critical to know.

If you blend into the faceless crowd just a little TOO effectively, you'll have pegged the "safe and secure" meter in the opposite direction from the "bizarre space oddity" realm.

You'll be TOO "safe" at that point, which is an attraction killer in its own right. Your name might as well be "Eric".

You know, as in "GEN-Eric".

See, if a woman finds you "generic" it telegraphs to her that you probably:


1) Lack the creativity to bring opportunity for fun, exciting experiences into her life.


2) Don't give much thought to how you portray yourself, and therefore you probably have zero ambition.


3) Haven't had an original thought in years.


4) Are a follower rather than a leader. (Ouch...that's the killer, isn't it?)


Just the other day I was listening to a woman who was about 23 or so talk about the kind of guys she'd been meeting lately.

"I'm not kidding...", she said, "if I could tell these guys anything, it would be that it's okay to wear something other than black jeans and an 'Affliction' t-shirt."

By "Affliction t-shirt", my educated guess is that she also meant "Ed Hardy t-shirt".

And had she been about 35 or so, she may as well have said, "Dockers slacks and a polo shirt".

Let's just be realistic here, guys. Most of us would think of taking no other route than to "play it safe"...whatever that means for us relative to our age, ethnicity, our social circle and/or where we happen to live.

After all, we don't tend to be all that fashion conscious. We simply take quick and dirty "fly-by" cues from what we see around us and do likewise, like "sheeple".

For the most part, we'd much rather mitigate against the risk of looking flat-out foolish than push the envelope with regard to how "normal" we come off as.

But that way of thinking is killing our chances with women.

Think about it: The vast majority of guys are NOT getting women, are they? Yet they all look like carbon copies of each other out there.

Gentlemen, you just can't "blend in" as if wearing some sort of social camouflage and expect women to notice you.

Following the herd doesn't inspire a woman to believe that you'll be able to handle crisis situations like a man. It doesn't cause you to appear as if you can "think on your feet".

Being conventional won't get you exceptional results with women any more than the dreaded comma-delimited list of adjectives will on your online dating profile.

So what's a guy to do? Do we have to "peacock" at clubs to stand out?

Well, ironically, at this point in history even that's actually more of a generic thing to do. Trying too hard to come off like a "player" is so, well..."played".

And therein lies the biggest clue of how to proceed.

You don't want to try too hard. That is, you don't want to go out of your way either to stand out OR to fit in.

How elegant of a concept is that?

Try this instead: Give it all some thought, and simply present yourself as you'd LIKE to be represented.

If you like a particular hairstyle, get it.

If you ever enter a store where you like most of the clothes, get some--even if the stuff is a bit "funkier" than you usually have the nerve to go for.

Better yet, choose clothes and accessories that actually fit in well with your hobbies, passions and other lifestyle elements.

The point is to make your style yours. Neither overemphasize being "different" nor underemphasize your individuality.

Rather, simply have the guts to wear and do what you want to do, and be who you really want to be--all with an eye for remaining socially acceptable, if not socially invisible.

Can you see the difference there between the two?

How amazing is it to know that in a very real way you can represent loudly and clearly that you have original thoughts and decision making autonomy...just by literally being true to yourself.

A sound mind and even the slightest tolerance for risking something new go a long way. The "happy medium" between generic and outrageous is where it's at for men who know how to attract women.