Tweet
And I am neither condoning it as a lifestyle choice nor discouraging it altogether. That part is your business as the reader. My job here is simply to open your eyes and demonstrate how it works.
I call it "harem building".
Now we all know that polygamy is illegal in this country. People can't marry multiple spouses, of course.
But that doesn't change the fact that certain men or (ahem) women have figured out how to collect multiple partners of their choosing.
And to underscore that what I'm about to share with you is NOT gender specific, I'm going to write this article with that perspective.
If a simple formula is followed, "harem building" can be done quite effectively. What's even more striking, it can be perpetuated almost indefinitely and without any deception at all.
Here's how it goes. Let's call the mythical parties "A", "B" and "C" for our purposes here.
"A" meets "B". "A" dates "B" and says something to the effect of, "Hey, I really like you and you charm my socks off. I enjoy spending time with you, and can't wait to see you again. But I'm just not ready for an exclusive relationship right now. I may be someday though, and who knows...you may be exactly the one who inspires me to pursue that in my life."
"B" may be perfectly okay with the casual nature of the friendship. Or, "B" may be more relationship-minded. It really doesn't matter, because even if the latter is the case, "B" may be up to the challenge of persuading "A" to fall for him/her alone.
So then, in "A"'s mind, "B" is securely in the fold. Know what? "A" is probably right.
"A" has been honest with "B" about not wanting an exclusive relationship, at least at the moment. Therefore, "A" meets "C" and repeats the entire process.
Now, it's easy to extrapolate this concept and come up with a virtually infinite number of people who "A" has made such an arrangement with.
No matter what, whether the list is two, five, ten or twenty..."A" has built a harem.
It's true.
And, good gravy, there weren't even any expensive weddings, let alone the need to support anyone financially.
What a mind blower. All a "harem builder" (aka "HB") ever needs to do is simply take a look at the list of people he or she is dating and decide which one is the preferred companion for whichever situation.
And it's as easy as that.
Knowing this information, how do you feel about it? Maybe I've just "blown your cover", huh?
Or maybe I've just opened your eyes.
Whichever it is, you'd better believe it goes on.
Now, remember I said that there isn't necessarily any deception involved. Of course, there could be.
"A" may be an outright cheater and tell every "letter" he meets that he or she is the "only one". So it goes at times. But usually that isn't necessary.
A Harem Builder can go about the business at hand with the full, even if reluctant, permission of everyone involved.
You as a reader may now be able to cast yourself as either "A" or "B" in the story above. Now what?
Hey, you know, it's altogether possible that "A" may really, truly be ready for that relationship to happen when the right "B" comes along. If so, "B" had better be the type of person who "A" wants to commit to, as we've talked about previously.
It's also completely possible that you are fully okay with being in "B"s position.
There are two things to remember, here.
First, particularly effective HBs might be able to instill a sense of loyalty in each and every member of his/her harem simply by dangling the "carrot" of a potential future exclusive relationship.
Psychologically, this often results in being treated to a sexual partnership from "Harem Members" (HMs) who may see it as a way of getting the HB to move into relationship mode.
Often, sex has a much different meaning to HMs, of course, and said HMs are uncomfortable with multiple partners, preferring to simply block out of mind the fact that the relationship with the HB isn't (yet) exclusive.
This means that HBs can actually have multiple partners, most or all of whom are faithful only to him or her. In these cases, you can begin to see how the concept of "harem building" isn't hyperbole.
That's exactly what it is.
That brings us to our second thing to remember. If you are accepting membership into harems, you have every right to build your own too, don't you? Now there's a challenging thought, right?
Some of you may think that what we're talking about here is precisely what you want out of your relational pursuits.
Others who are not willing to settle for anyone less than a partner who completes him or her are ready to vomit.
The choice is yours.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!