Yesterday I was on the phone with a guy who was trying to decide between two women.

According to him, both were beautiful and fun to hang out with.

One, however, had invited him over to her place, with the promise of cooking an amazing dinner for him.

The other had flirted with the bartender on their last date and even gave the guy her number, pretty much right under his nose.


Ultimately, once the big picture was sorted out, it was utterly obvious which woman was better relationship material.

Problem solved.

But hold on a second. This was all based on the assumption that having a long-term exclusive relationship with one great woman is the goal.

So then, here's a solid question that begs to be asked:

"If I'm not exactly looking for a wife right now, does every chick I go out with have to be a potentially terrific mate?"

When asked like that, you can potentially see things in a different light, can't you?

I mean think about it.

Let's say that you meet a hot little firecracker of a redhead who is so extremely sexy that you practically can't control your excitement about her.

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ID:	3064And let's say she really likes you, and makes it clear to you early on that she's "good to go" without any desire for exclusive commitment.

But she's also a raging alcoholic who curses like a sailor in public and embarrasses the heck out of you.

Or she abuses waiters and kicks puppies.


Or hey...maybe she flirts with bartenders right before your very eyes and gives them her number.

If you're really just looking for a quick fling, does any of that really matter?

I mean, couldn't you just go for a smokin' hot tryst with her every other weekend while it lasts, regardless of all other factors?

To paraphrase countless guys I've heard commenting on this very subject, "Come on, look at her. Who's going to pass up a chance to get some of THAT?"

The point seems well taken. After all, there are even a lot of fathers who go so far as to teach their sons that "there are women you have fun with and women you marry".

At the baseline level, that's actually true. And these days there's really no doubt that women often tend to self-categorize accordingly, and pretty much unabashedly.

Looking back, I have to admit I may have even dated a woman or two in the past who I knew was no darned good for me long-term. Yet, things ultimately turned out okay for me, right?

Well, here's another confession while I'm on a roll. Every single time I allowed myself to be associated with a woman of questionable character, I was sorry.

In fact, I learned my lesson pretty quickly on that one.

Sure, they may have been cute and fun to hang out with. But wow, did they cause drama.

And in the few cases I let things ride for a while, did I ever get caught up in a complicated bird's nest of manipulation and yes...lies.

The bottom line was that no matter how hot they were, women of questionable character were not honkin' worth it.

And guess what? Once I got my act together to the point where I legitimately had LOTS of higher-quality options, I really found that I didn't need to compromise when it came to hanging out only with women of good character.

I met more than enough all-around AMAZING ones to obviate any excuse for spending time with liars, manipulators or any other shady women.

But NOW let me drop a bomb on you.

That DOESN'T mean that every woman I went out with after that was necessarily "wife material".

Yes, I dated my fair-share of hot, sexy, sweet and fun women who I was definitely not going to marry.

So what gives?

Here's the disarmingly simple answer: The list of disqualifiying factors was limited to matters of incompatibility, not character.

For example, I remember hanging out with one woman in particular whose personality was SO enigmatic I wondered aloud to her how ANY guy was ever going to be able to comprehend her enough to marry her.

But she intrigued the heck out of me nonetheless.

There was another who was brilliantly smart and tons of fun.

But her faith and her culture were so radically different from mine that there was no chance marriage was in our future.

Both of those women were on the same page as I was with regard to where the relationship was headed: nowhere.

Nevertheless, we enjoyed keeping each other company until one or the other of us found someone who potentially WAS "marriage material".

You see, in my opinion that's perfectly okay, with the MASSIVE caveat that a TON of attention is paid to sexual responsibility.

Frankly, you're always better off not going for "the wild thing" with women you'd never marry.

If you don't think things can get out of hand with a quickness as soon as she gets pregnant, I can only wish that you never have to endure finding out the hard way.

So then, even when both you and the woman you're dating mean well, you can still theoretically find yourself in a rough spot.


But I'm telling you, when you compromise your standards regarding character of women you date, I can almost guarantee you there will be trouble.

Basic disrespect. Fake pregnancies. Late-night surprise phone calls from frustrated dudes who thought they were the "only one".

Lies about everything from what time they'll show up to what their STD panel looks like.

And for what it's worth, I'd be remiss if I didn't bring up women with serious mental illness.

Granted, their condition is not their fault. Nevertheless, the problems they'll surely heap onto your life are so profound it's practically unimaginable.

Unless, of course, you've already been there and experienced that (which I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy). In that case you don't need to use your imagination.

Who needs any of that? I'm sure you don't.


So stick to high-quality women with their heads together, even if you don't plan on getting married to one of them for a very long time.

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!