Tweet
You just might be as sick of hearing that same old mantra from your friends and relatives as everyone else is who has heard the same thing over and over:
"You're too picky. You're never going to find a woman who meets all your requirements!"
Am I right on target?
Man, that's irritating, isn't it? Especially if it's coming from people who you clearly sense have settled for less than they wanted in their OWN relationships, right?
I mean, what...are YOU supposed to settle for someone you don't really want and end up miserable too?
Well, you know my answer. Absolutely not.
You have every single right to be as selective as you need to be.
I'd even go so far as to say you should have a detailed list of the top traits you desire in a woman as well as a list of all the "deal breakers" you've identified.
If you're "picky" or "selective" (or whatever you want to call it), it's got to be for the RIGHT REASON...which is because you REFUSE to settle for less than you deserve.
I call that concept "Proactive Pickiness" because you have the foresight to AVOID getting roped into a BAD relationship that you never really wanted. Instead, you're actively CHOOSING the partner you want.
That's all good stuff, all the time.
What often happens, however, is that some people pronounce themselves to be "very, very, very, very picky" even as they're doing virtually nothing to be the kind of person that their "dream partner" will ever be attracted to.
What's up with that?
Well, even though that mindset is not only confusing to observers but also utterly counterproductive to the best interests of he or she who holds it, there may be method to the madness.
Now, while I'm not going to discount the idea that there may be some truly delusional souls out there who firmly believe that their selfish will is enough to somehow trick and/or trap exceptional women into their snare, I think there's something more to it.
What it often REALLY comes down to is that same old nemesis that we as men in particular have such a hard time staring down: FEAR OF "REJECTION".
I usually talk about "Shyness-Induced Snobbery".
Essentially, this is a bizarre principle that comes into play when a man chooses to completely ignore a beautiful woman, lest he give her the benefit of knowing he's attracted in any way, shape or form.
That way, you see, he retains his "oneupmanship" over her as opposed to giving her any indicator of attraction that she might just, in turn, use to clobber him over the head with in some humiliating manner.
But the irony of it all is that those in such a man's social circle deem him to be a SNOB, when in reality he was just too shy to make a bold move toward the very women he desired to be with the most.
As silly as it sounds, I personally suffered from that disorder for YEARS...and I've heard from a multitude of y'all who can definitely relate.
Well, tragically enough a dynamic very similar to that is THE major contributor to the state of becoming "picky" for the WRONG reasons.
That's when what I call "Pickiness That Prohibits" has kicked in.
On the surface, it merely looks like UNREASONABLE pickiness.
The list of desired traits may be a mile long, typically featuring plenty of esoteric nonsense that has little to do with real attraction OR real compatibility (e.g. "we must have the same favorite move, 80's hair band and Taco Bell menu item, etc.)
Or, I don't know, maybe that list is also replete with mutually exclusive requirements that flat-out defy the laws of physics, chemistry AND biology.
But see, what's REALLY happening there is that "extreme pickiness" is being positioned as a mere EXCUSE to avoid going out and meeting women.
It's a way to insulate oneself from ANY possibility of "rejection" by women, all by preventing any conceivable situation where "rejection" could potentially happen to begin with.
And as much as I hesitate to say it, THAT may be what your friends and relatives are so concerned about when they harp on how "picky" you are.
That's because when you get right down to it, both "Shyness Induced Snobbery" AND "Pickiness That Prohibits" are a LOT like sticking your head in the sand.
In either instance, you're KIDDING yourself if you think you're EVER going to meet the woman of your dreams that way.
You're WAY, WAY better off making the BOLD MOVE to deserve what you want.
After all, once you see clear progress there you'll then feel much more comfortable making BOLD MOVES to meet great women.
And at that point, as long as the list your newly-transformed "Proactive Pickiness" is based on doesn't violate the laws of science, you'll be richly rewarded.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!