It never ceases to amaze me what passes for dating advice among the masses.

Among dubious classics such as "just be yourself", "friends first", "be nice and comb your hair" and "women love jerks" is the particular gem we're going to address today:


"There's someone for everyone."


Now, it's important to realize the mindset behind most "armchair" dating advice. Basically, it's given in hopes of making someone feel better about his or her situation without providing any real, substantial steps to actually improving anything.

Consider how many grandmas have told dateless college students, "Someone will come along and love you just the way you are, honey."

Well, guess what? I'm not your Grandma. And after nearly eight years immersed in this stuff I've long since gotten up out of the "armchair" and into the saddle.

So it's my solemn duty to inform you that just like whatever Grandma told you, resting your hope in a pie-in-the-sky notion like "There's someone for everyone" is a BAD IDEA.

Really, I can't call it a poor strategy. It's actually a NON-strategy.

To be clear, I'm not disputing that there is someone for everyone. I absolutely do believe that every human being can and should find love.

The real problem is that the entire premise smacks of SETTLING, doesn't it?

Let me spell it out for you: If you're passively hoping (another NON-strategy, by the way) for just ONE woman to fall into your life out of the blue, then you're already completely off-track.

Simply stated, a decidedly more exciting reality awaits any "big four" man of strong character who is confident, masculine in the way women define it and able to make women feel safe and comfortable in his presence.

Indeed, there may be "someone for everyone", but there are UNLIMITED OPTIONS for that guy.

Wouldn't you rather have your pick of LOTS of adoring women rather than waiting around for "someone"?

Think about it. If there's "someone" out there for you who you're wishing upon a star in hopes of meeting someday, what kind of choice does that imply?

If you answered "zero", you're right on.

Passivity will DESTROY your level of success with women, assuming you've achieved any success thus far.

If you haven't yet experienced success, then that same passivity will flatly PROHIBIT you from ever tasting it.

Yes, I realize I'm making a strong statement.

But you can't simply wait around for "love to happen when you least expect it". Even worse shade tree advice than that is, "when you stop looking for love, love will find you".

Man, that last one has to be the biggest "whopper" of all. Why don't we all just quit our jobs and start buying lottery tickets instead, too?

Yet again, all the examples of bad advice I've given here really do share that common theme, don't they? They're all "fluff" and no substance.

Who can expect to accomplish ANYTHING in this life without proactively going about making it happen?

Love, or success with women if you prefer, is no exception.

I can promise you that if you're on a surrealistically long "losing streak" right now--or have always struck out with every woman you've ever really wanted--then things aren't going to "magically" change without any direct input from you.

The perfect woman of your dreams isn't going to suddenly descend from heaven one day with a halo in a beam of light.

You're going to have to deserve what you want. You have to be the man of HER dreams.

You have to conquer fear of "rejection" and/or that you're "bothering" women by striking up a conversation with them.

Yes...this all involves some real-world action on your part. But it doesn't have to be as hard or as complicated as you think. Results can come quickly.

And the journey itself can even be exciting as you see your fortunes improve steadily.

Believe me when I tell you that there's no better feeling than being able to CHOOSE the woman (or women) you want to be with.

Having options means making INFORMED choices. And informed choices are BETTER choices. Better choices lead to better RELATIONSHIPS...every time.

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!