Tweet
I could list countless examples, but today I'm going to focus on one in particular. That's going overboard trying to "impress" women.
Simply put, most guys try too hard. Women can see right through that every time, and they practically smell the desperation.
Meanwhile, the minority of men who are skilled with women know better.
They focus on the woman they're with rather than themselves, finding out potentially valuable information about what she's like, storing it all away in the moment and leveraging it much later...precisely when they're most likely to come off like a mind- reading magician.
That's one way to legitimately amaze women. But most guys lack the necessary patience and maturity to pull it off.
Basically, guys with less experience try to overwhelm a woman as soon as possible with some twisted, self-absorbed, approval seeking version of blatant "shock and awe" rather than piling on subtle indications of awesomeness over time.
Need some more elaboration on what I mean?
Okay then, take online dating, for example. We've all seen online profiles where some allegedly rich guy is posing in picture after picture with all his cool stuff.
Going further, he brags about some club he's in and how he is on a first-name basis with the chef at the swankiest restaurant in town.
I can assure you that even though virtually every woman would roll their eyes at all of that, the man behind the profile is completely nonplussed by his lack of dating options.
Either that or he's become convinced that "all women are golddiggers", because that's all he's attracting.
Needless to say, should such a guy ever actually go on an actual date with a real, live woman nothing would be much different. It'd be all about him and how much stuff he has, all the time.
Never mind if the woman would wonder why she's even there, given how little the guy cares about her as a human being.
All she'd probably be thinking about is how pathetic it is that this guy has so little confidence in his inherent attractiveness that he feels the pressing need to hide behind a barricade of "stuff".
But the guy who knows how to make women LOVE him goes about things differently.
Yes, he takes an interest in her. He also makes it a point to let her talk more than he does.
He invests his energy in making a woman feel comfortable in his presence.
And most of all, he rests in a certain confidence that he WILL impress a woman by his very nature...all by simply BEING a man rather than having to objectively inform her of why she should be so impressed.
As the competent man makes every right move, the woman will prove Dale Carnegie's famous age-old premise that the more you focus on someone else, the more they'll be drawn to YOU in return.
He trusts that golden truth implicitly, knowing how dependably predictable the outcome is.
Focusing on her. Making her comfortable. Letting HER talk. These are all subtle indicators of awesomeness. The seeds of how cool the guy is get planted in a way that's very much "under the radar", and then they grow...and flourish.
It really doesn't take long before the woman is duly impressed.
A true badass with women can continue to pile on even more subtle indicators of awesomeness. The key is to indirectly allude to the most intriguing aspects of who he is, all without ever really gushing about the basic facts.
Instead of blathering on about his travels to India, he invites her over for Pav Bhaji, Palak Paneer and Tikka Masala.
When she inevitably asks how on Earth he discovered such delicacies even though they both live in Cincinnati, it's THEN he can casually mention that he first got hooked on the stuff when he tried it somewhere near Juhu Beach in Mumbai.
From there, he gives "no details"...remember that from a few newsletters ago? He simply relaxes, waiting for her ask the inevitable questions based on her own level of intrigue.
Or, he may carry a weird shaped pocket knife. When he produces it to remove the tag off of something or whatever, he's not only "Johnny on the spot" with a plan of action, she ends up asking him where he got the cool knife.
Since it's an Ulu knife from northern Alaska, he gets to casually drop that he picked it up when it was in Nome for the Iditarod last year.
Or, when she has an issue with the brake calipers sticking on her car, he's mentions off-hand that if she backs up about ten miles an hour in an empty parking lot and slams on the brakes, it'll likely solve the problem.
When she wonders aloud how he knew that, he'll succinctly disclose that he "used to race those things", and it's a little trick he learned along the way.
You can proceed in a similar manner from now on, too. While you may not be able to capitalize on the exact examples I've given, it's highly likely that you've either done or can do some amazing things in your own right.
The trick is to take inventory of those things and file them away for future reference.
And yes, older guys. Your cumulative life experience really does give you an edge with younger women.
Take all those years of piano lessons your parents made you suffer through and parlay them into being the one guy at the party who can actually play the big grand piano in the center of the room...right when it's time to sing "Happy Birthday" to someone.
Only exercise your knowledge of how to say "I love you" in German when it's actually time to SAY "I love you" in German.
By the way, it's perfectly okay to look for an excuse to do that, and even to engineer the opportunity a bit if need be.
Can you see the value of that? While most guys can't wait to spill every minute detail about everything that they think makes them so "amazing", what's arguably THE most "amazing" skill of all is the ability to aim social interactions in a direction where you'll have a certain opportunity to BE amazing...and have it come off as the most natural, ostensibly accidental thing in the world.
Get that mindset, be patient enough to use it to your advantage, and then simply get on with the business of piling on subtle indicators of awesomeness. She'll love you for it.
Weirdly, that'll be true even if at some point she figures out how you operate. There's just something about the patience and subtlety of it all that genuinely impresses her anyway.
Truth be told, it's actually the neediness and desperation that the typical guy telegraphs to women that's such a turn off.
Deep down, your skills and experiences are still as inherently attractive and intriguing as you've always suspected they are. You just have to handle letting a woman know about them the RIGHT way.
Use the Comments box below and "Have Your Say" (even if you disagree with me). I really appreciate it when people reply with thoughtful comments. Honestly, it makes my day. Either way I will be glad to hear from you. Also forward this article to a friend. I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.