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And no doubt, by being a man who has a plan, makes effective decisions, faces fear with courage and knows how to keep his cool when the chips are down (among other things) you really do represent what women want most in a man.
Typically, I contrast this idea with "machismo".
Being "macho", at least generally speaking, is the concept of doing what it is that we as guys do to impress each other.
You know what I mean.
Being a connoisseur of great beer and/or being able to drink more of it than your buddies is a classic example.
Getting together with your mountain biking buds and playing in the mud. Barbecue contests. Chirping the tires when catching third gear.
Well, today I want to set the record straight about something.
Even though I focus on the difference between masculinity as women define it and machismo, there's NOTHING wrong with doing guy stuff just for the sake of it...even if it's not exactly the kind of activity that attracts women per se.
That's right. Not everything you do in life has to serve the express purpose of impressing women.
I mean, even once you have a great woman (or several) in your life, you're still going to need to hang out with your friends and do what you enjoy in that context.
We like our time away from women every once in a while.
Getting away on a Saturday morning for a round of golf comes to mind. In fact, did you know that some still hold to the belief that the word "golf" itself originated as an acronym for "gentlemen only, ladies forbidden"?
So, of course, all of this begs the question of why women tend to COMPLAIN so much about guys acting all "macho".
I mean, if it's all good for us to engage in "macho" stuff after all, why do women always seem to roll their eyes when they see us do so?
On the surface it really looks like women just don't want to admit that we're not like them.
Well, not so fast.
The actual answer to what's going on here is a bit different...but still very simple, nonetheless.
Show me a woman who openly shows disdain for guys acting like guys around each other and I'll show you (drum roll...) a woman whose femininity hasn't been ignited.
The mistake we tend to make, you see, is misdirecting our "macho" activities and mindsets toward women instead of toward each other as guys.
This isn't exactly going to make her hot for us. After all, being macho has ZERO to do with emphasizing sexual polarity.
Think about it from our perspective as guys.
It's the things a woman does that represent joy, beauty, playfulness and her ability to provide comfort that turn us on.
It's not the fact that she reads tabloids. She's better off talking to her girlfriends about what the A-list celebs have been up to.
And if she wants to go shoe shopping, she's more than welcome to leave you at home.
But what if all she did was hit us up to partake in all of that with her? We'd get bored with her pretty fast.
No kidding, right? The "girlie" stuff isn't impressive to us either...just like "macho" stuff isn't to her.
But there's another more important reason a woman might be openly resentful of the "macho" stuff we do with our friends.
If we prioritize those things while giving minimal (if any) attention to igniting her femininity, she feels trivialized or even left out altogether.
It's as if our friends (or even ourselves) come before meeting her needs as a woman.
She might even believe we aren't at all about keeping her best interests in focus.
About a year ago a guy called me because his marriage was on the rocks. Despite being an amazing provider and a man of considerable ambition, his wife had grown more and more openly resentful over the years.
He had let his ambition take over all else...taking him away from his family quite a bit and allowing his business matters to monopolize his thoughts.
As it turned out, he and his wife didn't even sleep in the same bed anymore.
In the garage, all the while, was a certain Porsche 911 Turbo convertible.
This man's wife hated that car with a passion every bit as hot as its Guards Red paint job.
In her mind, that car was a cheap substitute for HER.
Whenever he stepped on the accelerator, she surmised that to be tantamount to sexual excitement. Heck, the car was even shaped like a woman.
So you can imagine the guy's surprise when I told him that had he prioritized igniting his wife's femininity over all else, she would have likely approved of the car.
In fact, she may have given it to him as a Christmas present... wrapped up in one of those big bows like you see in the TV commercials.
You see, once a woman's femininity is ignited by your representation of masculinity as she defines it, the eye rolling regarding any of your "macho" pastimes on the side will flat-out STOP.
Sure, she may kid you about them. But she'll no longer resent them. In fact, she may support what you do.
THAT'S why you can go to softball games and certain guys' girlfriends are cheering them on.
THAT'S why some guys' wives buy them new sets of golf clubs for Christmas.
In fact, when you first succeed at portraying masculinity in the way a woman defines it, she tends to even LIKE the fact that you have some macho pastimes reserved for your friends.
You see, your time away with friends gives HER the occasional break from YOU to go sip chocolate martinis or to see some chick flick at the theater with HER friends.
And since she's not taking personal offense to feeling slighted or left out, she starts seeing you as having that kind of exciting life that we all know is attractive to women.
So in a way, doing "macho" things CAN make your more attractive to a woman, albeit in an indirect manner. Isn't that something?
In effect, she's ready to celebrate the fact that you're a man in every way...all because you prioritized what creates sexual polarity when interacting with her.
And here's the crazy part.
If all is well in the universe, she'll have ignited your masculinity as effectively as you have taken care of her.
As a direct result, you just might look forward to seeing how she looks in the new pair of shoes she bought.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!