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I see that as a major plus because it's like having a crystal ball that cuts through the haze and offers clear insight into how men and women think about each other.
After over a decade of doing this, I've noticed there is one factor that differentiates everyone who is having trouble with the other gender from those who aren't. It's almost like a common thread of DNA.
None of them are IN CONTROL of their dating lives.
Instead, it's whomever they are interested in who tends to be in full control.
You see, typically a guy will write me and say something like, "Hey Scot, I got a phone number from a woman but I called her and she was completely non-committal about hanging out sometime. How do I get her to go out with me?"
Or, he may say, "Look Scot, I've got a problem here. I started dating this woman and it was going well. But then she stopped returning calls as quickly as she once did. And lately she has been telling me she's 'super busy' and can't really get together as often. I texted her four or five times yesterday, but she didn't answer."
The women's version tends to be shockingly similar, if for some untold reason the stories themselves more dramatic and entertaining.
"Scot, I really like this guy who is 'legally separated'. But he hasn't filed for divorce and changes the subject whenever I bug him about it. We were supposed to go out Friday night but he never called. So I finally called him around 10p and some chick answered! She was really, really, REALLY mad. What do I do?"
Or...
"Gee Scot, I met this guy online and he lives a couple of hours away. I don't understand why he can't just take a Saturday afternoon and meet me half way or something to have lunch. But he
keeps putting it off. How can I get him to be more excited about meeting me?"
Do you see the pattern there?
The most curious part of this is that the guys who are in such a position are the same ones who are firmly convinced that "women are the choosers and men are the chasers".
They are the ones who complain that women "can choose any guy they want, and we as men have to do all the work".
Meanwhile, every woman in a similar position relates to me some version of, "How come I have to be the only one who cares about the relationship all the time? How come I call him and couldn't be sweeter to him, but he hardly ever calls back? And when he does, how come he only wants to see me like once a month?"
Yep...you got it. The one in control chooses...man or woman.
And that's precisely why everyone in that "out of control" position ends up frustrated. They feel powerless and asking someone like us what to do to is really just a band-aid.
The reality is there's nothing they CAN do to get inside another person's mind and work the controls.
At least not directly.
Now, other people out there might start dating several MOTOS at once and end up having a hard time sorting out their rambunctious social lives.
And at that point they too may call and ask me how to deal with that.
But when you think about it, that's really just another version of not being in control of one's dating life, isn't it?
Granted, that's a "high quality problem", but it's a twist on the same basic issue nonetheless. Instead of one person being in control over another, however, in this case you have one person being controlled by the pressures of many on his or her time.
Poor babies, I know.
But it can be frustrating nonetheless. And that, as I mentioned, is the premise of this entire discussion.
When you are OUT OF CONTROL of your dating life, you are frustrated.
And when you are IN CONTROL of your dating life, you aren't.
It really couldn't be more simple.
So here's what I challenge you to do.
If you are obsessing over one person--or worse, if you're obsessing because there's NO person in your life--I want you to TAKE CONTROL and make the first move towards having real options in your life.
Young people have a distinct advantage over older people who are dating because they get to "clock in" every day at a "workplace" where there are no limits on "fraternization" and where everyone is the same age.
Best of all, except in rare instances, about half of those people are MOTOS.
That place is SCHOOL, of course. And what's more, everyone at school is usually unmarried, right?
It really is a dating bonanza, assuming you have the wherewithal at a young age to make the most of it.
But youth is wasted on the young, oftentimes, isn't it? Most of us didn't exactly have dating figured out back in high school.
And the hard truth is that once you graduate, you'll NEVER experience an opportunity like that EVER again.
But here's the thing.
Within the last fifteen years, something has happened that offers you a very real approximation of the way things were at school.
That "something" is online dating.
Where else can you log on, find literally hundreds of MOTOS who are the right age, in your neighborhood and AVAILABLE?
The correct answer is "nowhere".
The very best way I know of to go from NO CONTROL to FULL CONTROL over your dating options you have is to start filling your life with more women to go out with.
And even if you work in a cave all day or at "Just Men, Inc.", you have the power to get online and make something happen.
I couldn't be more convinced that online dating is the ultimate solution for frustration.
But of course you have to know how to make online dating work for you.
Get it wrong, and you'll just get more frustrated.
But get it RIGHT, and your dating life will be radically changed for the better almost immediately.
The best news of all? Most guys never bother to find out how to make online dating work for them.
This means that YOU have a very real opportunity to get all the success where others fail.
Life isn't fair. But if it were, that would mean that every guy would have an equal amount of success. What YOU can do is take every advantage available to you and make it YOURS.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!