I don't care if you're meeting women online or anywhere else, there's one disastrous outcome that is more painful than all other possible bad things we fear happening combined.
That's when we have her completely attracted and into us...but then BLOW IT by doing something wrong.
I mean, if she's flatly uninterested from the start, that's one thing.
But man, when you've got everything working so well only to suddenly see in her eyes that everything has just fizzled...wow.
Worst of all, we often don't even know what we did. And we might never find out.
Well, I can't give you the 20/20 foresight you need to prevent setting off every random "mood killer" that a particular woman might react negatively to.
But that said, I can give you one major bit of insight that might prevent it from happening to you in a certain very common situation.
So here we go... The baseline principle to keep in mind here is this: Women travel in packs, but they're not necessarily together all the time when they do.
This means that when you go to a party, a social event or--yes--even a club and are up for meeting some women, it's always best to scout out who any particular woman is hanging out with BEFORE introducing yourself and getting her number.
Otherwise, if you inadvertently show interest in more than one woman in a particular social circle, you'll likely create drama.
In other words, when you enchant two different women who are friends, you create a dilemma. If they're good friends, you'll likely be the one who ends up being the "third wheel".
Or, you might come off as a "player". If that turns them off you're going to walk away empty handed.
So yes, just a little bit of recon ahead of time goes a long, long way. The key is patience...even if that means violating ye olde "three second rule" in favor of a more evolved approach strategy.
Now, if at this point you're thinking to yourself, "thank you, Captain Obvious" I'm about to take this to the next level for you. So hang in there.
Amazingly, the exact same principle applies to online dating because a similar scenario can occur.
How's that?
Well, it's not at all unusual for groups of single female friends to decide to try online dating at the same time. And yes, if you end up e-mailing more than one of them, you'll likely lose out on meeting ALL of them.
As you might imagine, if you end up e-mailing two or more women who are friends the same "cut and paste" template message, you're especially out of luck ("plus one" for avoiding template messages altogether, right?)
Maybe you're saying, "You've got to be kidding, Scot. What are the chances?"
Well, I've had this situation flare up no fewer than THREE times in my personal experience...and I live in a metro area of a million and a half people. You can only imagine the likelihood of such a thing happening in smaller cities.
There have been at least three guys I've coached who had something similar happen to them. So yes, this isn't "flukish". It's a very real pitfall that you've got to avoid.
So how on Earth do you mitigate against this?
Well, because online dating profiles themselves do NOT "travel in packs", nothing is foolproof. But here are a few things to look out for.
The first step is to recognize that women who have signed up around the same time are more likely to know each other.
Since I heartily recommend focusing searches on women who indeed are new to the site, that means you've always got to have your "radar" on for the rest of what I'm about to talk about.
Next, remember that women have a tendency to be friends with other women who similar in physical attractiveness to themselves. This isn't always true, but it is more often than not.
So you've got to bear in mind that women who sign up at the same time and who are similarly attractive MIGHT know each other.
If two or more women you're interested in follow that pattern, it's time to look deeper.
Note any similarities in their profile narratives. Female friends might compare notes or even help write each other's profiles before posting them online.
If you find the same phrase or any other uncanny "coincidence" in two or more women's profiles, that's pretty much a dead giveaway that they know each other.
Also note what they put down in the "job/career" section. If they're in the same line of work, they may actually be coworkers.
Finally, look at their respective zip codes. Are they the same, or even in close proximity to each other? That's another strong hint that they're friends.
Groups of three or four women who know each other might actually get online at the same time. It makes you wonder how they think they're NOT going to end up communicating with the same men, but go figure...
All I know is that in the online dating world ANY conversation implies potential interest, so e-mailing two or more women who are friends at the same time is never, ever going to end well.
It really doesn't matter whether they get mad at each other, mad at you, both, or they just drop you like a bad habit and move on. NONE of those results is favorable for anyone.
So play it cool by e-mailing one woman at a time if you even suspect she knows another woman you're interested in.
Keep the message masculine but not sexually charged, and (as always) free of "pre-approval". That way if you don't get an answer from the first, you haven't necessarily blown your cover (and therefore your chances) with the next woman.
And above all, for the 1000th time avoid the "cut and paste" stuff, okay?
Remember, whether you're meeting women online or offline, it's not your fault if you end up showing interest in two women who you thought were "acting alone" but who were actually at the "party" together. No matter what happens, it's not like you intended to be the "bad guy".
But if and when you get caught in this snare, it's likely to make you throw up your hands and shake your head. Correction: It's just likely to make you throw up, huh?
So then, it's much better to avoid the whole mess to begin with. From now on you'll have no problem doing that.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
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