My wife and I really enjoy hanging out in New York City whenever we get the chance. It's truly "the city that never sleeps", with something interesting or even amazing happening everywhere all
the time.
That's why it's so amazing to me that people who move to NYC from elsewhere tend to report how LONELY they are...even with MILLIONS of people around them.
What's up with that?
Despite the apparent irony there, it really is HARD to meet new people...and I'm not just talking about beautiful women.
That's true whether you're in New York or anywhere else, really.
That's this: Everything you ever needed to know in order to be permanently influenced AGAINST approaching women you learned in kindergarten.
That's right. Most of our parents taught us (and vehemently so) that we should "never talk to strangers".
Now, while this was surely effective at keeping us as kids away from the clutches of evildoers who lured us with candy or something, there's one major problem.
Nobody ever helped us UNLEARN the concept once we were actually grown up enough to fend for ourselves.
Stop and think about this for a second. The evidence of how true this is can be found everywhere.
You get in a crowded elevator and nobody talks to each other. In the checkout line at the grocery store...same thing.
In fact, try this if you're not already in the habit of doing so. Simply COMMENT ABOUT SOMETHING to a total stranger.
It doesn't even need to be an attractive woman you're talking to, necessarily. It can be ANYONE.
I can all but guarantee that the look on the person's face will range from somewhere between mild surprise to utter shock.
BUT...after that initial moment of awkwardness is gone, the other person WILL respond. And probably in a friendly manner befitting your initial comment to them.
You will have started a conversation successfully, even if it did indeed take a complete departure from "social norms".
Pretty crazy, isn't it?
But here's the most amazing part, at least to me.
Since most of us never talk to strangers in general, that means that when we DO finally feel compelled to change that habit it's usually in the context of meeting women, isn't it?
OK, so let's assume then that we indeed get up the nerve to do what's strange to us, and we finally approach a woman.
It could be in that crowded elevator, in line at the supermarket or...yes...even on 5th Avenue in Manhattan.
And when we start that conversation, she looks at us with a tentative or even startled expression on her face.
What happens next?
Often times, we assume we've already blown it. We confuse that surprise with disinterest or even disgust.
But usually it's only that she went to the same kindergarten class we did.
She survived childhood by not taking candy from strangers. And nobody unwired HER thinking either.
Seriously. That's very often all there is to it. Put this one to the test in the real world and let me know how it goes.
You've just been given a MAJOR game-changer when it comes to getting over the fear of approaching women.
When you expect a woman to be taken aback initially when you approach her--because it's totally normal in today's culture--then you begin to realize that all it takes is to continue with the next line of conversation.
If you'd like, you can even tell her with a smile that she's all grown up now. It's okay for her to talk to strangers.
That way, she might not remain a stranger for long.
If you have any question, leave a comment below.
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