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Invariably (and I don't use that word often), the phrase "no matter what they do" doesn't turn out to have been a whole lot.
Never mind the simple fact that some guys aren't doing jack diddly about being the kind of man who attracts a high quality woman.
Never mind that they aren't coming anywhere close to doing their best with what they've got.
The root cause behind such a dateless state is usually even more basic. As such, I typically respond to such claims with a question.
"Well, have you actually ASKED a woman to go out with you lately?"
Roughly 50% of the time the answer is either, "Um...no" or "I forget".
I think we can all agree that whenever someone says they "can't" do something before actually TRYING it there's some sort of psychological block in place.
In this case, I really believe some guys would rather be right than be happy.
After experiencing a certain amount of frustration with women, that frustration can turn to anger.
Once the snowball gets rolling and a guy decides he just flat-out doesn't really like women anymore, the next logical step is to make sure everything supports his beliefs.
Sure, his conscious mind would still like to succeed with women. But unfortunately, his unconscious mind has created an adversarial relationship with women in general such that his overall outlook on things is incongruent.
So what happens next?
Let's say a guy really does gather up the courage to talk to a woman instead of throwing up his arms in the assumption he'll get "rejected".
Often, he ends up asking her questions like this:
"You don't want to go out with me sometime or anything, do you?"
Laugh if you must. But I kid you not, I've had guys tell me point-blank that they've said such things to women.
Not only does that question presume disinterest on her part, it hands her the power to "reject" you on a silver platter--no thanks to the question mark at the end.
On top of all else, it's gift-wrapped in a completely nebulous time frame: "sometime".
Clearly, the man who asks a woman this question isn't simply not expecting a positive outcome...he probably doesn't even WANT one.
This is the same kind of auto-suggestion that tends to be used in "public polls" sponsored by organizations that are hoping for a specific result.
An extreme, almost laughable example would be as follows. Imagine two forms of the same question asking about whether or not you'll vote for a particular candidate:
A: "You wouldn't actually vote to put that idiot in charge of this country would you?"
B: "You're going to make the wise choice and vote for him like everyone else is going to, right?"
Those two versions of the question would likely yield very different ratios of "yes" to "no answers, even if the same group of people is asked, right?
You really can "engineer" the probability of getting the results you want.
So when we direct conversations with women in a manner that suggests she shouldn't be interested in us, we can't be surprised when she simply follows our lead, right?
We've "manipulated the poll".
If you want an idea of how bone-jarringly common what I'm talking about here is, just check out what other dudes write in their online dating profiles sometime.
"I really don't think this is going to work since women don't really ever like me, but I'm trying anyway."
"I can't get a date in the real world, so I don't know why online would be any different...but let's give this a try."
As Yoda would say, "Do or do not. There is no 'try'."
"Try" is the enemy of success.
One guy's tagline on his online dating profile read, "Here Goes Nothing..." I'll say.
But actually talking to women is a start, at least.
The next step is to lead in a way that assumes positive results rather than negative ones.
And hey, if you've actually gone about the business of taking a shower this morning, brushing your teeth and choosing some clothes with some style for a change that can only help.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!