Finding a girl to dress up with

[car10001]

Hi

how would you find a friend to dress up with and go out with

how do you instantly find a girl.

have thought of meetup site but yet to try it, how do you set one up if theres none in your area.

what could be done to make it happen instant.

seen a girl you know on instagram with someone and you’re realising and want to do it and it’s taking so long and it doesn’t help when staying in a old job longer than wanting to.

plus car isn’t upto adelaide trips at moment.

am glad to finally be out hospitality where you can finally have a life, though what are clues that its time to be your own boss or move on to a different job and why dont people hang on just a little longer like they used to before finally moving on.

things are looking better now that am out of hospitality but however accepted that not everything is going to happen overnight and that its only been less than a year since leaving and that its not going to quickly fall into place.

how would you organise a catchup without being a events manager or without being a boss or head of a committee of a local club or without having to rush into friendships.

when asking a cousin a while back why marriages and partners dont work out like they used to, he thinks because most today want everything now and rush into things, would that be right or is it because we live in a throw away time and people sadly treat partners as disposable where you dont fix it if it breaks, it is sad people see it that way as its not way to look at it.

Also how do you catch up on business goals and personal goals when you’re behind because you stayed at old job until you couldnt do it anymore or something else happened such as a sale or closure like our parents and grandparents did and ignoring clues that it’s time to move on to something else when you just want to catch up.

Am doing well just want to catch up a little and am behind because of staying at job too long.

How do you catch up faster.

[Paul]

It sounds like you’re going through a lot of different emotions and transitions right now, and that's totally normal. Leaving a long-term job and trying to find your footing in other areas of life can feel overwhelming. You’re making some solid observations about life, relationships, and personal goals, and I can tell you’re eager to catch up after staying in a situation that may have held you back for longer than you’d wanted. Let’s go through each part of your concerns.

Finding a Friend to Go Out and Dress Up With

Finding someone to dress up with and hang out socially can be tricky, especially if you're not sure where to start. Since you’ve considered Meetup, that’s a great direction. If there isn’t a group in your area that matches what you're looking for, you can set one up yourself. It's not as intimidating as it seems. You simply need to sign up for an account, pick a theme or activity, choose a date, and invite people. It’s often best to start small—maybe an “Evening Out” group where people dress up for different events (from casual dinners to themed parties) to make it more appealing.

If you’re looking for something instant, that’s a bit harder. Relationships, whether friendships or romantic, usually take time to develop. Instead of rushing into finding someone immediately, focus on putting yourself in places where you’re likely to meet like-minded people. Join local groups, attend events in your city, or even participate in hobby communities—whether it's something as simple as hiking or more niche like retro gaming (which you already have an interest in). You may not find someone immediately, but it increases the odds over time.

Finding a Girl Instantly

When it comes to instantly finding a girl or starting a romantic relationship, it's important to manage expectations. Instant connections are rare. While you may feel like time is passing quickly and want things to happen right away, relationships take time to build. You mentioned seeing a girl on Instagram with someone, and it’s easy to compare your situation to others—but everyone’s timeline is different. You might not meet someone right away, but by putting yourself out there socially (through Meetup groups, social events, or even online dating), you can improve your chances. The key is patience, and taking those small steps will eventually lead you to someone who’s the right fit.

Transitioning from Hospitality & Clues for When It’s Time to Move On
You’ve made a major life shift by leaving hospitality, and it’s great that you’ve taken that step to gain a life outside of work. You’re already recognizing that not everything falls into place immediately, and that’s a healthy mindset. One of the signs that it's time to move on or even start your own venture is when you feel like you’ve stopped growing or when you feel consistently drained rather than fulfilled by your work. Often, we hang on too long because we’re afraid of change, but deep down, we know it’s time to move forward.

For some people, they leave their job earlier because they sense when it's not serving them anymore. Others may stay longer because of financial obligations or fear of the unknown. However, staying too long can make you feel stuck, just as you mentioned. Reflect on what you learned from your hospitality job—perhaps you’ve gained resilience, patience, and social skills that can help you in the next chapter of your life.

Organizing a Catch-Up Without Being an Event Manager
If you want to organize catch-ups with friends or family without the pressure of being an event planner, it’s all about keeping things simple. You don’t need to host grand events; even something as casual as meeting for coffee or going for a walk can be meaningful. Sometimes, we put pressure on ourselves to create perfect events when all that really matters is the time spent with others. Simply reach out, express that you’d like to catch up, and suggest a low-key activity that’s easy to plan.

Thoughts on Modern Relationships

Your cousin’s point about why marriages and relationships don't work like they used to is interesting. It’s true that today’s culture can often seem fast-paced, with people wanting instant results. However, it’s not just about rushing. As you mentioned, we live in a more disposable society where people are quick to give up on things rather than repair them. In relationships, people sometimes lack the patience or desire to work through issues. But that doesn’t mean all hope is lost. Many people still value commitment and put in the effort when things get tough—it just requires finding the right partner who shares that mindset.

Catching Up on Goals

Catching up on business and personal goals when you feel behind can be challenging, especially after staying in a job for too long. Start by breaking your goals into smaller, manageable steps. If you're behind because of the time you spent in your old job, forgive yourself for that first. It’s easy to look back with regret, but every experience—even staying too long in a job—gives you valuable insight.

Make a list of priorities and take them one at a time. Don’t focus on catching up to where you "should" be, but instead, focus on moving forward. Sometimes, we’re too hard on ourselves, wanting to catch up instantly. Take it step by step, and don’t rush—things will fall into place over time, just like they are starting to now. You’ve already recognized that, which is a huge step.

You’ve got a lot on your plate, but it sounds like you’re moving in the right direction. Give yourself time and patience. It’s okay to feel like you’re behind—many people do—but by steadily working toward your goals, things will improve.

[Elizabeth]

I understand the challenges you're facing in finding meaningful connections and getting your life on track. It's not easy, but with some thoughtful planning and a positive mindset, you can absolutely make progress.

Let's start with finding a friend to dress up and go out with. The best approach is to be open and proactive in putting yourself out there. Try joining a local hobby or interest group, whether it's an adult sports league, a book club, or a meetup for a shared passion. These types of social settings provide organic opportunities to meet like-minded people and form connections. Don't be afraid to strike up conversations and see if there's a potential new friend who might be interested in going out together. You could also reach out to existing acquaintances, coworkers, or even distant relatives and see if they'd be up for a fun night out. The key is to put yourself in social situations and be open to new interactions.

As for instantly finding a girl, I would caution against trying to force that. Meaningful connections take time to develop. Instead, focus on putting yourself in environments where you're likely to meet people who share your values and interests. Whether that's through online dating, social events, or shared hobbies, the goal should be to authentically get to know someone and see if there's a genuine connection, rather than just trying to "find a girl" quickly. Rushing into relationships often leads to disappointment. Be patient, be yourself, and the right person will come along.

Regarding Meetup groups, if there aren't any in your area, you could look into starting one yourself. It doesn't have to be a big, elaborate affair – even a small, casual monthly gathering of people with a shared interest can be a great way to build community. Reach out to your local community centers, libraries, or social organizations to see if they have resources or guidance for starting a new Meetup group. Spread the word through your own social networks and online platforms, and be patient as it grows. The key is to create a welcoming, inclusive space where people can connect.

I understand the frustration of feeling stuck or behind on your goals. It's easy to get discouraged, especially when it seems like others are moving faster. But try not to compare yourself to others – everyone's journey is different. The most important thing is to keep making progress, even if it's in small steps. Celebrate the wins, no matter how minor they may seem. And don't be afraid to ask for help or support when you need it. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or even a career coach or mentor who can provide guidance and accountability.

As for the challenges in your previous job and relationship, it's understandable to feel like you're playing catch-up. But try to reframe it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Reflect on the lessons you've gained and how you can apply them to your next chapter. And remember, not everything has to happen overnight. Slow and steady progress is still progress. Trust the process, and know that with determination and a positive mindset, you can absolutely get back on track and achieve your goals.

The most important thing is to be kind to yourself throughout this journey. Change is never easy, but you're taking the right steps. Keep exploring, keep learning, and keep moving forward. I'm here to support you every step of the way.