Meeting Women Again After Divorce

[Richard]

After having my heart broken by my divorce from a woman I really loved, I have been looking for someone else to spend the rest of my life with.

I, like you have been told that it wasn't my fault and that I did all I could to try to save my marriage, but it still doesn't take the pain away.

After almost a year I feel that I am now ready to begin dating again. I figured "Hey I was married, I shouldn't be afraid to talk to women."

Boy was I wrong, I am just as shy as ever when it comes to approaching women.

You have begun to open my eyes to the fact that I am not alone in this regard and that it is OK to approach women.

[Scot]

There's indeed no time to be a "victim" after a tough divorce.

Just because your ex-wife did you wrong does not mean that other women will all treat you poorly.

Similarly, her opinions aren't necessarily those of other women you'll meet along the way. If she ever complained and/or berated you in the past, none of that matters anymore.

Learning to deserve what you want is THE best and absolute quickest way to put the past in the rear view mirror.

That's because it puts YOU back in the driver's seat of your life rather than wallowing in the pain of the past (you know, like a "victim" would).

Take control and go for it. Yes, you'll quickly find that new conversations with new women will generally go better than you ever even guessed they would.

Be sure to go out and date all sorts of women so you can truly evaluate who it is you are looking for. In other words, decide for yourself who it is that you actually WANT to deserve.

That's a crucial step on the road to deserving what you want.

Then, once you have total control over your dating life you can become CHOOSER instead of the CHASER. That means you can then make the decision to stick with one great woman on your own terms.

But definitely be sure to raise the proverbial bar as high as it can go before getting into your next long-term relationship.

[Mabel]

Increase Feminine Charm

Ellie wanted to step up her feminine charm to become more approachable for the men she might meet during the work day. She spent time thinking about the way she dressed for work. Usually she wore jeans for two reasons: 1) comfort of course and 2) because she often moved a lot of boxes and equipment around during the day.

Become More Conscious of Your Presentation

Recently, Ellie had become more and more conscious of how she presented herself to the world and decided it was time for a change. She started to wear the great skirts she had purchased, yet never even bothered to take the tags off! She also bought a few new tops with "v" necklines, rather than close-cropped round necks she originally felt were more business appropriate. This softer approach to her wardrobe was a big departure from her usual habits.

New Wardrobe Warms Up Attitude

The big surprise? Ellie discovered that always wearing her jeans actually contributed to her feeling isolated and focused solely on work. On the other hand, donning her new skirts helped our heroine be far more open to interacting with people! She found herself having more eye contact and smiling, even when getting a cup of coffee at Dunkin Donuts. And, Ellie became aware that men were suddenly noticing her.

You Can Be Social, Smile and Flirt any Time!

Through this simple experiment, Ellie realized that her work day can have a much wider scope than just getting projects done. Opportunities to be social, smile and flirt can pop up at any moment and add to the joy of her daily life.

[John]

There are billions of women in the world, and some men have no problems meeting them. These men are however in the minority, and most of us have at least some difficulty meeting women. This is compounded with long work schedules, hectic modern lives, and especially even more so if you are shy. Although reliable statistics are not easily available, a great many men are shy, some painfully so. I have always been.

Although we are not going to go into dating skills beyond meeting women here, that is the first step. Although there are lots of ways and plenty of places to meet women, here are three high yield ways that work for all men, especially shy men. You will notice that bars and clubs are not on this list!

1) Speed Dating - Speed dating is great for shy guys. In speed dating, the organizers set up a bunch of mini dates at an event with women. Each lasts perhaps 4 to 8 minutes, not nearly long enough to run out of things to say or even remember that you are shy! At the end, you indicate to the organizers, not the women, which you would like to see again. The women do the same. The organizers later distributes contact info among matches, making this very low pressure.

2) Online Dating - Online dating can be fantastic for shy men as you meet women online by writing to them, and most men are not shy when it comes to writing. It is the in person interactions that are more difficult. I could write about it forever, but the basics are simple. You join one or more online dating sites (I suggest two to start), write an online profile describing yourself, and then write to women you are interested in. Now be warned that Online Dating works very well, but it has a steep learning curve. Fortunately you can do this from the comfort of your home. Expect perhaps one out of ten women to respond, and keep working on improving your profile: there is plenty of online advice available.

3) Through Friends - Meeting through friends is the time tested and classic way to meet. It does help enormously to tell friends you are looking to meet someone or ask them if they know anyone single and appropriate to introduce to you. Also, never turn down a reasonable invitation. You never know who you might meet.