Approaching Groups Of Women

[Damian]

I have a question.

My obstacle now is I keep seeing women I would like to get to know better at obscure moments like coffee shops, waiting in line, etc.

They seem to be giving me "signals of interest" but how do you go about trying to flirt and get a number when there are two girls present?

With this there are the issues of jealousy or if the other friend will try and hinder your attempts because you approached the other girl.

This happened today at a coffee shop with two girls talking to each other at a table.

We strategically sat at the middle table where all the girls could see us.

I didn't make the attempt to go talk to the one girl that seemed interested because her friend was there, but she did go to the bathroom.

Maybe that was my opening but even then to get a number from someone you just met with just 2 to 3 minutes to do it in is strict.

There is a way to accomplish this? So what I am doing wrong with my mindset?

Thanks again for your time and help, I appreciate it and can say I am making the sincere decision to put myself on the path to deserving what I want.

[David]

Hey Damian.

If you see a woman you like who just so happens to be with one or more of her friends, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a specific interest in her..

Remember first, however, that it's a mistake to pre-approve any woman before actually talking to her and evaluating what she's really like.

Believe me, I've experienced situations similar to the one you shared in which I ended up MORE interested in the woman who I didn't initially expect to like as much.

I know...ironic, right?

So first off, remember not to over-analyze. Follow some basic social conventions, and chances are everything will go well.

First, the smart plan is to boldly get the group's attention, with a confident but personable introduction, perhaps observing how much fun they're having, etc.

As always, be observant in the moments prior to approaching and you're likely to recognize an obvious conversation starter.

Then, engage each woman in the group socially, even if it's only natural (and expected) that you'll end up particularly attracted to one in particular.

Women can handle that. After all, they are grown-ups too.

Besides, think of it this way. How's it going to look if you're trying to get with more than one of them? (Unless that seems to be their own idea, of course.)

If "in the unlikely event of a decompression" your concern is validated and one or more of the other woman somehow manages to "act up" in either a jealous and/or immature way, that's not really even your problem.

Rest assured that any woman who would put on this display is demonstrating true friendship toward the woman you are interested in.

With some field experience, you'll soon realize that if you follow the social graces I've recommended, most women are at least somewhat gracious in return when a man clearly shows interest in a certain woman in the group.

You are only going to get blatantly "blocked" when either:

1) She's not single after all, or...

2) ...you are creepy, pushy or otherwise an I/J (Idiot/Jerk).

So be the kind of man who deserves what he wants, and there's very little potential for shame.

If one girl actually does behave like a brat, believe it or not it may help your cause as the one you prefer apologizes upon finding herself in a position of embarrassment.

The more gracious you continue to be under such circumstances, without getting rattled, the better.

But this is all a contingency plan for the unlikely.

Women know better than to be that catty towards their friends in such situations. In fact, they often are happy for one another, interestingly enough.

So in the end, what's the worst that can happen? Nothing is ever as bad as kicking yourself later because you straight-up "failed to deploy" at all.

[Nate]

I know this has probably happened to you. You see this hot & sexy beautiful single woman that you are just dying to meet for some love and romance (perhaps at a restaurant, bar, nightclub, anywhere and everywhere). There's just one problem though. She's with a group of girlfriends talking and laughing.

You would feel rather awkward approaching her in a group of other women and interrupting their conversation with, "Hi, my name is Don and I noticed you from across the way and I would love to meet you."

There's a better way to do this and it's worked well for me to meet lots of beautiful sexy single women for dating, romance, sex, and relationships. Follow these steps for meeting single women in a group of other women:

1. Make sure she is not wearing a wedding ring. You don't want to make a fool of yourself by hitting up on married women.
2. Take out one of your business cards and write this on the back of it: I just love your lovely smile and wonderful laugh. I know you are busy with your girlfriends, but I wish you had been alone because I'd love to meet you. Please call. I'll be disappointed if you don't (then sign your name at the bottom).
3. As you are leaving, smile and hand her your business card with the message on the back and say, "Hi, this is for you. Have a nice day."

Is this method of meeting single women that you are attracted to and want to date guaranteed to work? Not 100% of the time. But, my friend, what have you got to lose? And look at what you have to gain: Succeeding at meeting all those hot & sexy beautiful single women that you have been dreaming about for love, sex, and romance.

Also, those single women that you approach using this technique will really admire you for your creativity in trying to meet them.

[Elliot]

When someone asks me how to ask out a girl in a group, I tell them the same thing every time - The easiest way to ask a girl out when she is with a group of her peers is to use 'social proof'. Approaching a woman in a group can seem daunting, but it is actually easier for three reasons:

1. Her guard will naturally be down in the "comfort zone" of her group of friends
2. You can come across as "not too interested" in your target female
3. Using social proof correctly will force any woman to accept you

So, how do I use social proof? First you must pick your target and approach her group. Make sure you engage or "open" the leader of the group first. You can always tell who the leader of the group is, because it is always one of two kinds of people:

1. A loud or outgoing woman
2. A guy (or guys)

If your target is with one other person, approach the other person first. If she is with two or more women, approach the loudest or most outgoing woman first. She is most likely the leader of the group.

If the group contains a guy or guys, just approach any one of them first. Men are default leaders. Try to engage in a conversation, and then move on to engage the other members of her group, approaching your target female last.

It is important to engage the leader first, so that you can ensure that the group doesn't decide to do something other than talk to you.

Learn how to ask out a girl that is the leader of her group: If your target happens to be the leader of the group engage the next loudest or most outgoing woman or any man first. Let your target female engage YOU! Then you can turn your attention towards her.

Hold off the real conversation until you have the approval of her group. By that time she will be forced to accept you, and you will have already built up some attraction. Be sure to flirt!

[Damian]

Thank you all for your advice!

[Rob]

You see, here's the thing. I've been immersed in this dating/ relationship stuff for going on a decade now, and it never ceases to amaze me that the SAME basic Q & A gets rehashed over and over again.


"How do I approach women?"


"How do I stay out of the 'just be friends' zone?"


"How do I get my ex-girlfriend back?"


Now, according to human nature, it would be easy to brand the legion of would-be dating advice givers out there as either "unimaginative" or "me-too" types and blame 'em all for the widespread "rehashing".

Except I need to remind you of something.

Most of YOU keep asking the same questions. Over and over.

It's true.

Heck, when we throw teleseminars I can request in the most direct manner possible that the questions remain on topic...yet I'll invariably get five questions to the tune of "Where do I go to meet women?" no matter what.

So then, to be perfectly frank, what you might see as "rehashed" material or even flat-out trite, worn-out advice is typically issued in direct response to what guys apparently WANT to hear.

As such, you can't really blame the dating advice outlets themselves for this state of affairs. On one level, it's all perfectly logical.

Seriously...why beat around the bush? Why not just keep hammering away at the same eight or ten questions that guys generally ask?

Well, not so fast. I for one can think of two rather valid answers to the question of "why not".

The first answer actually begets the second answer, so hang with me for a couple of minutes here.

Answer #1: I'm not going to dwell on the same "popular" topics over and over again because they've all LONG SINCE been covered already...and in lurid detail.

Think I'm kidding? You can argue with me all you'd like (and many of you will) but I promise you I'm telling you the truth here.

What's more, the truly shocking facet to all of this is that the answers to most, if not all questions asked over and over again are BASIC and EASY.

To demonstrate, let's consider the examples I've already cited:



Q: "How do I approach women?"


A: Walk up to her, say "hello" and introduce yourself. Be sure to mind her personal space.



Q: "How do I stay out of the 'just be friends' zone?"


A: Let the true, natural masculinity you were born with come out and present itself publicly, for a change. Stop feeling guilt for simply being a man, and for God's sake don't apologize for it.



Q: "How do I get my ex-girlfriend back?"


A: If you broke up, it was for good reason. You're better off without her. "Next!"



And just for good measure...



Q: "Where do I meet women?"


A: Anywhere. There is no such thing as a set, proper "venue" in which to start a conversation with a woman. If you go where women actually are instead of the same sports bars full of other guys you usually hang out at, so much the better.



Okay, then. "Answer #1" is pretty cut and dried.

So then, am I essentially telling you that I (and others in the dating advice business like me) are required to make all of this more complicated than it really is lest we all be out of a job?

Hardly.

Granted, we'd all get bored stiff if I gave in and answered the same basic questions all the time.

But Answer #2 to the reason why I don't harp on the same stuff over and over is where the proverbial rubber meets the road.

And that's because doing so wouldn't help you anyway.

There it is. I said it.

Face it. You really don't need me to "rehash" anything for you because you've ALREADY HEARD every twist on every theme associated with those "basic" questions, provided in full by whichever dating "guru" you happen to resonate with.

Yet the same basic questions continue to be asked...and not necessarily by newbies.

Very often the "basic" questions come from guys who I know for a fact have been working at getting better with women for years now.

And it's not that guys who want solutions in this area of life are hard-headed, stubborn or lazy.

After all, guys like you genuinely want answers.

So then, all of what I'm talking about here points to an obvious fact of life: You can't expect to achieve real success if you stick to the "paint-by-number" basics.

If you want to rise above the "faceless herd" you're going to have to build skills that others just don't have.

Somebody asks, "Tim Duncan is one of the greatest power forwards in NBA history, and his nickname is 'The Big Fundamental'".

Granted. But Timmy didn't become a 2 time NBA MVP simply by putting his hand in shooters' faces and using the glass.

He's also got the Spurs' ridiculously complicated playbook down cold and had patented moves in the low-post that drove defenders nuts.

Indeed, he's ALWAYS looking for an "edge" and he's ALWAYS improving.

So sure, you've got to make sure you've got the basics covered when it comes to getting better with women.

BUT...it's those added "pluses" you gain along the way--those feathers in your cap--that will really take you from "zero" to "hero" with women.

An analogy I like to use is that of a guy who'd like to learn how to handle a sports car in high-performance situations, perhaps so he can go racing.

So he looks up "driving schools" on the Internet.

He plunks down his money and takes a course at "A1 Defensive Driving" on how to parallel park, observe signals, and keep his hands at "ten and two".

But obviously, going back to "basics" doesn't transform him into a Formula One champion overnight.

What he REALLY needed was to call up someone like Bob Bondurant in Phoenix and get advanced training in competitive, high-performance driving.

By now you know that what I'm telling you makes sense.

But here's the "punch line" in this would-be Python-esque comedy: Since most of us have never gotten PAST the basics, we really don't even know WHAT TO ASK when it comes to going beyond them.

Seriously. If the wild success of others with women confounds you, it's altogether possible that figuring out HOW they got there will confound you as well.

Like Marcellus Wallace in Pulp Fiction, you might someday figure out EXACTLY why "a foot massage isn't just a foot massage".

Or you might gain the secret to kissing a woman not just "adequately", but in a way that makes her WANT you.

But unless you ALREADY know the value of those skills, it's altogether possible that you'd likely never have the presence of mind to ASK about acquiring them.

I used to think that answering questions that nobody is asking was a wasted effort. But lately, some of your most powerful responses have been to newsletters featuring completely original ideas.

This particular newsletter has served as an explanation of why gaining unique and uncommon insight is what's going to ultimately get you the success with women you're looking for.

You can also consider this newsletter my promise to bring up the right questions and give practical, in-depth answers.

My pledge is to deliver as many insider secrets to you as I can that will compel women to describe you as "amazing" rather than seeing you as just another boring guy who doesn't get it.

And that just might be the Holy Grail, sir Robin.