How Would I Know If He Is Interested?

[Alexa]

I was wondering what you would say...do you think this guy is interested? How should I talk to him?

I have seen him before at the library when I get a computer. The local library has different branches and I have seen him at two of them.

I remember in the fall of last year when I asked for a computer he made a statement that "I think I have seen you at..." and he named the branch.

Anyway, about a month ago I went to get a computer (a day I normally don't go to at this branch) and he happened to be the one working. I was shocked. most likely, as it had been last year when I saw him last.

I guess I liked him then but didn't talk to him. I figured he would talk to me if he was interested.

Well, that night I went to my car (I parked on the street) and happened to glance up to see who was nearby about to cross the street as I was looking for my keys.

I didn't notice him at first and when I did I looked back and smiled and he said, "Hey" and I said, "Hey" and went back to looking for my keys.

Would that mean anything? I never can think of something to say at the moment until afterwards.

I saw him at the other branch about a week later when I got a computer.

Then, I think it was a couple of weeks when I saw him yet again when I was at the library but didn't ask for a computer.

Well, last week (about 2 weeks or so since I saw him last) I asked for a computer and he said "Gwen, right?"

He knew my name. He remembered my name.

If he remembered my name, does that mean anything? It was about 4 weeks ago when I gave him my name for a computer and he remembered.

Are these occurrences good signs, or am I imagining?

How should I talk to him? Is there something to say when I check out or get a computer? How would I know if he is interested?

I haven't been able to pick up on anything yet.

Thank you,"

[Bradwin]

Well from what you describe it is VERY clear that he likes you... he is showing all the signs... he has engaged you in conversation several times now and he even remembered your name.

And here is something you are probably not expecting me to say... he most likely “thinks” you are not interested in him at all... it does not sound like the conversations you have had with him inside the library have gone very far at all..., even though it appears he has attempted to make small talk.

And when he greeted you outside where your car was and your response was to simply say...

"Hey..."

Then you turn your attention to looking for your keys you might as well have said...

"I do not want to talk to you..."

Regardless of whether that was true OR not... that is a huge blow to a man... and he is unlikely to press you any further for conversation.

Interestingly... most... if not all men report that it requires them to muster ALL of their courage to approach a woman they have never met before and talk to her.... do you know that... because it is true!

Men are typically VERY AFRAID of being laughed at and told "no"...perhaps in a publicly humiliating manner... even though the VAST majority of women are polite and would NEVER be rude to a man who was respectful toward you... because of the “bad mannered nature” of the "bitches" out there... men are very much afraid of living that nightmare.

Knowing that... if a man actually DOES try to start a conversation and continues to talk to you it is safe to assume that he likes you... also given that his job gives him the opportunity to interact with dozens of people every day... if he makes a point to remember your name then that is VERY significant.

Next time... talk and flirt with him by smiling and laughing at anything funny he might say so that he can get at least a subtle indication that you are enjoying the interaction with him... you will be amazed at how even a simple measure of approval like this will afford him a MASSIVE dose of "confidence" to ask for your number... or even to ask you out on the spot.

Be sure to relax and enjoy the conversation as you would with anyone else... even though your mind is probably racing with excitement... after all... you do not freeze up when you talk to women or your girl friends... right?

You can do this... you can absolutely help carry the conversation too.

For example...

You might ask how long he has been working for the library... or you could ask a question like...

"What is your favourite book here?"

Those would be the simple... basic ways to press the "easy button" without much chance of fumbling your words... and if you are feeling more spunky and creative you could also reach for something funny to say yourself.

For example...

When he recalled having seen you at the other branch you might have responded with...

"Yes...do you have a twin brother working at the other branch also... I think I remember seeing someone who looks like you there?"

Whatever you say... smile when you say it... never forget to SMILE.

Be sure to talk about the latest interesting YouTube video you have seen or the most curious thing you have read recently instead of politics... religion or anything else that is controversial... avoid any negative ideas... keeping the conversation fun... and even playful.

Since he likes you he WILL try to continue the conversation... and you really do have to show some interest in him too... the good news is that you do not have to throw yourself at him... it can all be subtle... just like I have described... coming off as friendly AND female does not at all have to imply that you are either too "forward" or too "available."

It is unfortunate that some that some women feel like they need to become total "non reactors" around men... lest they get the "wrong idea" about you... the "wrong idea" that men typically get in that case is that you DO NOT have any interest in them whatsoever...after all... they are human just like you.

Consider that "non-reaction" is one of the most frequent reasons why perfectly sweet and adorable women find themselves not being asked for a next “meet up”... ironically... it is because the man usually thought she did not like him!

Next time this man talks to you Gwen... engage him in conversation back... and if he asks you out to “meet up”... agree!

Go out with him and find out who the man is... you never know... he might turn out to be a real cool man.

Let me know how you get on.

[Elliot]

Here's some ways you can tell whether that cute guy has developed feelings for you (or knows that chances are good that he will), and how to avoid a guy that only wants...well...one thing that has nothing to do with romance.

He Listens When You're Speaking

If a guy cares about your opinion and knows that he'll want you around for a while, he'll be concerned about being a good listener.

It isn't hard to tell whether or not a guy is paying attention when you're talking; if he cuts you off and starts talking about someone else, guess what? He sucks at listening and probably isn't that into you. If he looks you in the eyes and asks questions about what you are actually saying, you have a potential winner on your hands.

He Takes You Out on Actual Dates

A guy can show his respect and good intentions by inviting you on real dates that are now viewed as somewhat old-fashioned. Examples are going to see a movie, a sit-down mean in a nice restaurant, etc.

If a guy tries to skip right to the sex, you know he has no romantic interest in you and has poor intentions. You'll know this is what he's trying to do if he only proposes your place or his as potential meeting spots.

He Remembers What You Like And What You Don't

If he ever has to order for you at a restaurant, he'll know exactly what to tell the server based on past dates with you. He'll recall that time you specifically requested no walnuts in that salad because you're allergic, or when you requested no onions on something because you hate onions, etc.

Maybe he's picking out a movie for the two of you and knows to invite you to a new one that's out starring your favorite actor or actress. He knows that they are your favorite because you were discussing movies on your first date.

It seems silly, but the little things are very important and telling in dating relationships. A guy that only wants sex from you won't bother to listen or care about things like this. A guy that wants to know you better and cares about who you really are will care.

He Talks About You to People in His Life

If your guy doesn't intend on you being in his life for a decent amount of time, and already knows that his desires for you stop and start with sex and that's it, then he definitely has no plans to introduce you to anyone in his life. Therefore, he won't be mentioning you to anyone either.

On the other hand, when a guy is taken with you and infatuated on a deeper level, he cannot help but bring you up in conversations he has.

You'll be able to tell that he was talking about you when you meet his friends, roommates, coworkers, etc., and they already know tidbits and facts about you. Often, they will actually say that your guy has told them a lot about you, etc.

He Cares About the Opinions of Your Friends and Family

If he is genuinely concerned with whether or not members of your inner circle like him, this is a good sign that has romantic intentions. He will definitely want your friends, especially your best friend, to approve of him because he wants to be in your life for more than just a few weeks.

Another way to gauge this is by seeing how nervous he gets before he meets your family for the first time. Most of the time, a guy who does not have romantic feelings or intentions will not even want to meet your family and likely won't agree to it.

He's Willing to Adjust His Life

If your guy works very hard and has a very busy schedule every week, it may seem impossible for you see him or fit into his life. Don't fret; the guy who feels romantic feelings for you will always adjust his schedule and move things around if it means he can see you.

You will probably recall situations in which you would have done whatever you could to make it possible to spend time with a special person, and other situations in which you weren't willing to make any adjustments. The difference is staggering, so just determine which category you're placed into in his life.

He's Affectionate Towards You, Even While Sleeping

How a man sleeps next to you can say so much. First of all, if he doesn't even sleep at your place after you've been intimate and wants to leave, that's a very bad sign. There's no romance there. If the two of you are at his place and he actually requests that you leave, this is even worse.

In this sleeping/bedroom scenario, just note how far away or how close he sleep to you and the level of physical contact that occurs while he's actually asleep or half-asleep. If you wake up and smile because he's wrapped one or both of his arms around you in a warm embrace and is still asleep, enjoy the moment. Even his subconscious knows it: he has intense romantic feelings for you.

[Alexa]

Thank you all for the advice.