Man Tries To Get Sex on the First Date?

[Nora]

What's a good reply to a man who tries to get sex on the first date?" A coy giggle. A gentle laugh. A wry smile or a smoldering look. A "not yet" with a grin.

[Bradwin]

Honestly, almost all guys are going to "try' to get sex on the first date (and the second date, and the third date . . . well, you get the idea. We like sex.")

That doesn't necessarily mean he's a player or that he's "only looking for sex."

It means he's a guy.

And he thinks you're hot.

And every cell in his body is pushing him to pounce on you, ravage you, conquer you (well, you get the idea.)

So what do you do?

Be "firm but fun" in the way you turn him down.

Don't . . .

She froze up like a deer in the headlights, a horrible scowl crawling across her face as her thighs clamped together like the doors of Fort Knox.

'You're just like the rest of them,' she sobbed and shrieked.

"Why can't you just want me for ME?"

Do . . .

'"I'm not having sex with you tonight' she giggled as her arm snaked through his.

"And probably not tomorrow night either. But when I decide I want to . . . well, I promise you it will be worth it.'"

Have fun with it.

Tease him.

Don't make it a "big deal."

Let him know that sex isn't 100% off the table forever (unless it is) and have a good time.

And if he doesn't respect the line you draw in the sand sit him down like a bratty 8 year old and tell him exactly what he can do with his goddamn erection.

[Lily]

Sex is one of the most fantastic experiences that a person can ever go through. It is also a powerful tool that bonds couples. As powerful as it may be, though, it also has the same destructive capacity. For casual daters, it may be okay to have sex even on the first date. But if you're looking for something that's lasting, then you might have gotten off on the wrong footing.

But since it's already done, what should you do in order to still gain his respect after that fateful night?

No one should take away respect from you.

Respect, much like happiness, is more like a state of mind rather than something that's automatically given to someone. If you believe that you truly deserve respect, then not even a one night stand would be able to erase that. It's pretty simple - know your worth and everyone would respect you.

Behave casually.

What would drive him away from you is when he starts feeling that this one night with him would equate to an instant relationship. Instead of pressuring him to get close with you, casually compliment him for a wonderful night then leave. If he's really into you now, then he would definitely be asking for your number, so don't worry.

Show through your behavior that you're not a slut.

Women who are used to one night stands behave differently than decent, respectable women. Sluts are like animals, they obviously just go for the kill (they lust after the man). They don't even bother to appreciate the man after the deed. As a decent woman, you should be able to show the man that you're well-mannered despite having a sex with him.

Don't get all touchy-feely.

Unless he was the one who initiated it, don't even begin to be emotionally involved with him. Technically, he isn't yours yet so don't behave like you're already his girlfriend. Seeing you all laid back would drive him nuts and you shouldn't be surprised if he'll finally ask you out on a formal second date.

Fight your urge to have sex with him again.

This would make him feel that you're not in it for sex alone. He could view you differently if he feels that what he had with you the other night was a one time thing. This will also cement the fact that you're really not that type of woman.

Just enjoy your post-coital happiness while it lasts.

As you lay there with him, just relish his arms around you and let the warmth seep through. Don't expect too much and he'll respect you for it.

Give him a quick kiss then leave.

Let him feel you one last time by giving him a meaningful kiss that says it all - on his lips. This would convey your innermost feelings to him and he might just feel that you have a connection that he mustn't deny.

[Nora]

Helpful advice from all of you, thank you.

[The Masterpiece]

Simple, tell him your not a sex on the first date type of girl.