My boyfriend doesn't want sex

[iona23]

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and half now, before we met I was against getting into a relationship and enjoyed casually dating, going drinking a lot etc. When I met him he seemed so perfect, he took me on really romantic dates and gave me a lot of attention. Being hurt before I assumed he was 'too perfect' and broke up with him. He is originally from HongKong so he always goes home for the summer for 2 or 3 months, which was another reason I decided to end it. We stayed friends and he dated another girl in HongKong, while I casually dated another guy at home. When he came back we got back together and everything seemed perfect.

THE PROBLEM is that I am a very sexual person, but he isn't. When we first starting dating we had an average amount of sex, and we were both into the same things, it all seemed perfect. About 3 months ago he had exams and we stopped having sex, I never questioned it because I assume it was because of stress, then we went to HongKong together for 6 weeks, I met his parents and it was a very big step for us. We still didn't have much sex and it began to bother me, so I brought it up to him. He told me it was because he was in his parents home, which made sense but he also has very open parents that I know encourage him to have sex. It all made sense so I accepted it. When we got back home, we stayed in my family home and he didn't want to have sex because of my parents, I was getting a bit annoyed by this point but I also can't be annoyed at someone for not wanting sex, so I hid my emotions and went a long with it.
I have just moved in with him, I had began staying with him all the time so it just seemed to make sense. We have been here for nearly 2 months and we have probably had sex about 4 times. I have brought it up with him multiple times and he just seemed to think I was crazy and we did have sex enough, but the other day he finally admitted he just has no sex drive and he can't explain it, he was just embarrassed and scared to ruin the relationship. I told him of course I would never end it because of something like that.

I love him a lot, he is my best friend but I am very sexual person and I can't help but feel really upset by this. Lately he shows a lot less care as well, I asked him if he wanted to come home with me for a couple days and he said no he'd rather play his games. Only a few months ago we couldn't spend a day apart. I feel like I'm not ready to get over the honeymoon stage and yet he is acting like we have been together for years.
I really don't know what to do, I feel really unattractive and I feel unlike myself. I didn't think if I had a relationship problem it would be like this.
All my friends see us as a perfect relationship, they always comment that their jealous because on social media we look perfect. My parents love him so I just feel embarrassed to talk about these problems and have no one to talk to.

I would just love someone to relate to or just talk to, Thanks!

[Dennis]

If there is no excitement left in your sex life and it has become monotonous and routine, he may just lose interest in you. Sex is a binding factor in the relationship and you can keep your man interested by pepping up your sex life and trying out new things.

[Nate]

Are you thinking my boyfriend doesn't want to have sex, and wondering why that is? Well you're certainly not alone. This actually happens quite often. Many women go through this. But one of the huge mistakes that a lot will make is automatically assuming that their boyfriend is out fooling around. Making this assumption without really knowing for sure can do nothing but cause more problems, possibly even ruining the relationship entirely.

The thing is that there are any number of reasons that your boyfriend doesn't want sex. Of course the common belief is that a man will have sex at the drop of a dime, and for the most part that's pretty true. But there are certainly things that can get in the way of that, and in a relationship there are certainly plenty of instances where these situations can arise.

Here are 3 Reasons Why Your boyfriend Doesn't Want to Have Sex...

Reason #1: Physical Sexual Problem... Your boyfriend may be having a little trouble down there and is embarrassed to mention it or talk about to either you or his doctor. Listen, we're guys, and that's our thing. We don't want to admit that our equipment isn't working properly, so we avoid the situation.

It's even embarrassing with your partner believe it or not. And even if you feel like you guys tell each other everything, some things we just don't like to talk about or admit and that's one of them. The other is that "The Notebook" is actually a pretty good movie. LOL

Reason #2: Something Is Bothering Him on an Emotional Level... This can be any number of things. It could be something outside of the relationship like overall stress, but it could also very well be something within the relationship.

Here's the thing, there's likely some other issues going on in your relationship if this is happening and it's not physical. You have to dig in a bit, and figure out what that might be. It may not be that hard to figure out, especially if you guys are arguing every day, or whatever. Usually relationship problems will be the main culprit if it's not a physical problem. If you're in a position where your saying my boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with me, then there's a good chance that your boyfriend has something bothering him.

You can try to talk it over with him, but the chances are that it's not going to go over well. But you SHOULD start doing some soul searching and figuring out what's wrong in your relationship, and how can this be fixed, and take steps to fix them, even if you're doing this on your own. There are some (very few however) great guides to fixing a relationship even if you have to do it on your own.

Reason #3: Your Missing the Key Ingredient of relationship... Ok, so you're used to hearing and thinking that only a woman needs PASSION in their relationship to be able to make love right?

Well, nothing could be further than the truth. You can think of Passion in your relationship as the same thing that connected you and your boyfriend in the first place. It's that excitement that you feel when you're all fluttery after than first date. But what happens after relationship is that life gets in the way, and suddenly the passion is gone, and here you are wondering why my boyfriend doesn't want to have sex.

So it's time to reignite that passion. And as mundane and boring as it may sound at this point you have to plan out time for passion and excitement. Date nights are a good start. Lunch time quickies etc. You know the drill.

[Jerome]

So, you say, "My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex," and you may be wondering if there is any hope. This is especially true if you have been working at this for a while.

Of course there is hope. Even if there has been an affair, there is hope--provided you want him back.

Most of the time, however, there has not been affair. You boyfriend may also be confused by the situation. He probably has the ability to compartmentalize his life a little better than you do. If that is the case, he will be able to deny there is a problem, or he will just block it out of his mind for large periods of time.

You, on the other hand, probably have it lingering on your mind all the time.

You may be wondering what is wrong with you.

Here is one word of encouragement: Probably nothing is wrong with you.

There can be some fairly common things weighing him down. These things may cause him to be so distracted that he neglects the thoughts of physical intimacy.

It could be pressures outside the relationship. It could be pressures of the need to succeed in other areas (and he feels he is failing short). It could even be that there are physical problems.

So, when you feel that "My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex" means that an affair is going, just realize that may not be the case at all. (On the other hand, you do want to check out the possibility--just make sure you do it discreetly, or you could compound your present problem.)

Now, since I said there is probably nothing wrong with you, I don't want to leave you with the hopeless feeling that there is nothing you can do when you feel, "My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex."

You may be relieved to hear that many of the techniques that could help have nothing to do with being "super seductive" although a little seduction does not hurt anything--but you have probably already tried that.

When you couple perhaps some new ideas for getting his interest along with some ideas that will improve your relationship across the board, and not just in the physical intimacy area, you may be surprised to find that you create a state where your boyfriend is once again interested in this activity. Not only that, he will find you irresistible!

What are some of those things?

• Listen when he wants to talk
• Don't press the issue
• Don't appear to nag (although that may not be your intent--avoid the appearance)
• Help him relax
• Help him have fun
• Build him up (This is the most important one--He needs your admiration and respect most of all!.)

So, don't give up. When you feel that "My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex" is almost a hopeless situation, realize there is hope.