I can't quit thinking about him. What do I do next?

[Manda27]

So there is this guy that I can NOT quit thinking about and I need some guidance. I'm 29 and haven't dated too much the last few years. I'm super independent and am kind of a homebody lol. I live in a smaller town and am over the bar scene! I do go out a few times a month with the girls though. I've never been the girl who always had to have a boyfriend. I'm kind of shy so when I'd see a guy that I thought was cute, nothing was pursued. Living in a small town also sucks and is hard because everyone knows everyone or who dated so and so and blah blah.
I recently met this guy who is in his mid 30's. We exchanged numbers and he contacted me back in June. We ended up hanging out that night as a group and had a blast! I went home with him (so out of my character) but I did and we had a blast! He wanted me to stay the night and we talked all night. Yes we hooked up. But it wasn't like any other time that I've "just hooked" up with a guy. I'm not a very sexual active person at all. I know it sounds like it but I'm not. Yes I've had my share of fun but as I've gotten older, I'm kind of over the "let's all sleep together" fad. I'm also not the type of girl who sleeps with a guy and is obsessed with him the next day. The last person I slept with before him was just casual sex and has been for years on and off. I've been active with two guys the last couple of years and it's been super casual but with this new guy, it was so different. Of course I didn't hear from him after and it made me feel blah. He did tell me that he just got over a custody battle and was getting his son for the summer. He went through a bad divorce a while back so he has tons going on. Being a single dad and a new house.
I decided to take a chance and texted him a few weeks after to see if he was getting out that night and he told me he had just gotten his son for the summer so he wasn't doing anything. He is a very nice person and wasn't rude about it at all. I didn't bother him anymore. Few weeks later he texted me kind of late seeing what I was doing and I was in bed. We Snapchatted a few times here and there then last Thursday, I FB messaged him to see if he and the guys were getting out and he said, were hanging at the house but y'all are more than welcome to stop by after you leave the club. During that time we went to another location so I didn't reply to FB and so he also texted me telling me the same thing. I told him okay I'll holler at you. Later that night on my way home I called him and he told me to come over. It took me a while to get there so he texted me to make sure I was okay.
I got there and we talked for an hour while hanging outside. He was supper affectionate and asked about my family. Told me how beautiful I looked. We laughed and always have a good time. We went inside and his son was up so I met him.
We hooked up and laid there for a while and talked and laughed. We went outside and hung out with his buddies (he had his arm around me the whole time) but it got late and I had to work early so I left. He carried my bag and walked me to my car (opened the door) and I sat down, he kissed me and told me to text him when I got home. I did and said "I'm home, don't be a stranger! Hopefully talk to you soon!" And he said want to see you real soon.
What do I do... do I wait for him to contact me? Have I put too much effort already? I've never thought about a guy (not in the past few years) like this. He is such a catch and we have SOO much fun together. I need help! I never purse anything and I'm never pushy but with this guy.... something is giving me guts!

[Lily]

Waiting for his call may seem like the thing any considerate woman would do when she's crazy about a man, but it's actually not. It's inconsiderate of a man to say he'll call and then not. As women we tend to give the man we love the benefit of the doubt and we'll excuse his behavior by deciding he's been too busy or other things have come up. The truth of the matter is that if your man was wild about you, he'd call you often. He'd also be begging you to call him. When you make it clear to him that you've got nothing better to do than wait to hear from him his interest level in you will drop dramatically.

If you are always waiting for his call, and then you eventually call him asking why he hasn't been in touch you are damaging things even further. Doing this makes you look desperate to the man in your life. The best thing you can do when a man doesn't get in touch when he says he will is to focus on other things. Don't call him, don't email him and don't text him at all. Pretend you've forgotten his contact information if you need to, but never make the first move. You want him to see that you're not sitting patiently waiting for him to decide what's next in your relationship. Instead you are showing him that you are fine without him. When a man feels this from the woman in his life, he'll work harder to keep her affection.

You need to always remember that men and women view phone calls, emails and text in very different ways. If you make the mistake of calling too frequently, at the wrong time or before he's ready to hear from you, you can actually turn him off. Women unwittingly ruin their chances of a future with a man because they are too over eager to hear from him. Don't let this happen to you.

[Shirley]

The most important of the call back rules for women is to always wait to call back your guy. You don't need to wait hours or days but don't pick up the phone and call him back the moment you realize you've missed his call. Men make judgements about us based on how we handle the issue of telephone calls. They may seem pretty uninterested by that aspect of the relationship, but in reality most men are playing close attention. Women can very easily make themselves appear desperate just by the way they handle phone calls. If you are always waiting by the phone for him or if you call him back as soon as you realize you've missed his call, he's going to see you as someone who is emotionally dependent on him. You'll also show him that he's caught you and we all know too well that men love the thrill of the chase when it comes to the woman in their lives.

So how long should you wait to call him back after he's called or left a voicemail? The answer is dependent on two factors. If he's called and you see his number on your phone but he's left no voicemail, don't call him back. This is one of the call back rules women usually ignore, but shouldn't. If he didn't leave a message, you have no reason to return his call, so don't. If he does leave a voicemail, wait at least 30 minutes to call him back. Let him believe that you aren't so preoccupied with him and the relationship that you have nothing better to do. If you make him wait a bit to hear from you, he'll actually find you more appealing.

[Paul]

I strongly advice you take things slow. I know you want the relationship thing to happen soon, but if you continue this way you will lose him for good. The reason being that you will appear needy and desperate which will make you unattractive to him.

Good luck.