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I did something pretty bad and have screwed up with my girlfriend. Here it is, last week I drove by her best friends house to see if she was there, and her friend saw me. When my girlfriend asked me if I had drove by her house I lied and said I didn’t. Later on that day but she had asked me again and said (so if told you I KNOW you are lying about driving by Her house last night would you tell me the truth?) So I came clean and admitted it.
I know doing that is a break of trust and how creepy it comes across. I’m pretty ashamed I did it and quit ambarassed. I’ve never been that type of guy and she knows that. But the thing is, she has giving me a reasons to doubt her honesty and make it hard to trust her. So a little backstory. She doesn’t have a working phone because she goes to cosmetology school full time and can’t afford a cell phone bill. So she uses her phone by messaging (texts) through Facebook messenger Whatever she’s connected to Wi-Fi which is pretty much everywhere now.
We message each other pretty much all day every day when we’re not together. Well she messages me the most. She normally won’t go more than 3 hours or so without messaging me. And it’s not very often she goes even that long. A couple months ago there were a few times where I heard from her around noon time and then not again till the following morning. VERY unlike her. So I expressed my concern letting her know that I wish she wouldn’t leave me in the dark wondering if she’s OK or where she is. Excuses that you came up with seemed so clearly to be a lie. I found out later that she had been messaging other people during that time after she told me she couldn’t message me because she had no Wi-Fi the whole time. But I never told her I knew.
So the next time it happened I messaged her best friend to see if she had heard from her. That’s when I found out she had been doing the same things with her friend. Disappearing lying to her. Your friend then told me that she had been lying to me about going to school. Missing a lot of days and telling me the whole time that she had been going and asked her friend not to tell me. Her best friend even told me I had every right to be concerned, feel the way I fell and every right to question her honesty. And before all of this there was a day where she was hanging out with my friend and I drinking having a good time. She randomly had to go to her house ( she sort of lives with her dad) to get clothes for school the next day and take a shower and said she would be back right after. It was super random and weird. Two hours went by so I messaged her. Keep in mind her dad does not have Internet so no Wi-Fi. Well, she messaged me back giving some excuse that she got too drunk and fell and decided she couldn’t drive back. I asked her if her dad had the Internet now in Wi-Fi. She then said no I’m using the neighbors Wi-Fi. Clearly a lie because she had never been able to do that before.
After that everything was good for the next three months all the way up till now. We were able to talk it out and nothing like that has happened between us since then. Our relationship has been amazing. We’ve always had a really strong connection. Something really special. Besides those incidents our relationship has been amazing right from the start all the way up to this point.
So last week it happen again. She disappeared didn’t hear from her for about 10 hours. Again, very unlike her. I expressed my concern again, she was upset because I called her out for (no reason). We talked it out wasn’t a big deal we moved on. Well, two days later it happened again. She was hanging out with her friends, I had Heard from her around noon time and then she seem to disappear again. Only this time I had noticed she was active on messenger but not messaging me. Even ignored my messages. That’s when I decided to see if she was at her friends house and got caught by her friend.
She was very very upset and angry about it. Expressed how I hurt her by not trusting her and said that she had never lied to me and only always loved me and my family. Well, The thing is, I obviously know if she has lied to me. Her best friend told me she had lied to me. So of course every time she says she’s never lie to me that’s another lie.
It’s been about a week and she basically won’t talk to me. She was supposed to come over today so we can talk in person but she never showed up and I never heard from her.
So my question is, whenever it is we finally do get to talk in person should I tell her I know she has lied to me? I don’t want to throw her friend under the bus but I feel like it needs to be said and then I can explain to her that’s why I’ve been questioning her and doubting her honesty. And should I tell her that she said she understood where I was coming from the last time she did this? And that’s why I felt hurt when I Hadn’t heard from her for such a long period of time?
I know doing that is a break of trust and how creepy it comes across. I’m pretty ashamed I did it and quit ambarassed. I’ve never been that type of guy and she knows that. But the thing is, she has giving me a reasons to doubt her honesty and make it hard to trust her. So a little backstory. She doesn’t have a working phone because she goes to cosmetology school full time and can’t afford a cell phone bill. So she uses her phone by messaging (texts) through Facebook messenger Whatever she’s connected to Wi-Fi which is pretty much everywhere now.
We message each other pretty much all day every day when we’re not together. Well she messages me the most. She normally won’t go more than 3 hours or so without messaging me. And it’s not very often she goes even that long. A couple months ago there were a few times where I heard from her around noon time and then not again till the following morning. VERY unlike her. So I expressed my concern letting her know that I wish she wouldn’t leave me in the dark wondering if she’s OK or where she is. Excuses that you came up with seemed so clearly to be a lie. I found out later that she had been messaging other people during that time after she told me she couldn’t message me because she had no Wi-Fi the whole time. But I never told her I knew.
So the next time it happened I messaged her best friend to see if she had heard from her. That’s when I found out she had been doing the same things with her friend. Disappearing lying to her. Your friend then told me that she had been lying to me about going to school. Missing a lot of days and telling me the whole time that she had been going and asked her friend not to tell me. Her best friend even told me I had every right to be concerned, feel the way I fell and every right to question her honesty. And before all of this there was a day where she was hanging out with my friend and I drinking having a good time. She randomly had to go to her house ( she sort of lives with her dad) to get clothes for school the next day and take a shower and said she would be back right after. It was super random and weird. Two hours went by so I messaged her. Keep in mind her dad does not have Internet so no Wi-Fi. Well, she messaged me back giving some excuse that she got too drunk and fell and decided she couldn’t drive back. I asked her if her dad had the Internet now in Wi-Fi. She then said no I’m using the neighbors Wi-Fi. Clearly a lie because she had never been able to do that before.
After that everything was good for the next three months all the way up till now. We were able to talk it out and nothing like that has happened between us since then. Our relationship has been amazing. We’ve always had a really strong connection. Something really special. Besides those incidents our relationship has been amazing right from the start all the way up to this point.
So last week it happen again. She disappeared didn’t hear from her for about 10 hours. Again, very unlike her. I expressed my concern again, she was upset because I called her out for (no reason). We talked it out wasn’t a big deal we moved on. Well, two days later it happened again. She was hanging out with her friends, I had Heard from her around noon time and then she seem to disappear again. Only this time I had noticed she was active on messenger but not messaging me. Even ignored my messages. That’s when I decided to see if she was at her friends house and got caught by her friend.
She was very very upset and angry about it. Expressed how I hurt her by not trusting her and said that she had never lied to me and only always loved me and my family. Well, The thing is, I obviously know if she has lied to me. Her best friend told me she had lied to me. So of course every time she says she’s never lie to me that’s another lie.
It’s been about a week and she basically won’t talk to me. She was supposed to come over today so we can talk in person but she never showed up and I never heard from her.
So my question is, whenever it is we finally do get to talk in person should I tell her I know she has lied to me? I don’t want to throw her friend under the bus but I feel like it needs to be said and then I can explain to her that’s why I’ve been questioning her and doubting her honesty. And should I tell her that she said she understood where I was coming from the last time she did this? And that’s why I felt hurt when I Hadn’t heard from her for such a long period of time?
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