What If Your Skills With Women Are Deteriorating?

[Richard]

Unfortunately it's not going very well.

"Lost" is the best word to describe me at the moment.

At the turn of the new year I lost an excellent woman (I believe that she was even my perfect match) by using some sleazy pickup tactics.

It didn't work because it wasn't me and she wanted me, not some tricks from a guy out in California.

I have dated many women since then but I feel like I would be settling with them. Then I manage to somehow sabotage the situation and feel like crap.

I hate feeling like this so I'm not even dating anymore.

I absolutely hate giving up, but I don't know how much more failure I can take. I am a fairly stand up guy and have many of the qualities you speak of, but this has been a bad year and I'm not having much luck.

My optimism is running on E. Is there anything I can do to turn this sinking ship around?

Thanks.

[Scot]

Hello Richard:

I'm getting letters similar to yours very often nowadays, and part of the reason I'm printing yours here is I'm sure it will resonate with a lot of men out there.

Believe me, I'm very aware that we as guys have very few viable options when it comes to genuinely improving success with high quality women.

I'm laser-focused on helping change that, of course.

Most guys would really just like to get a great girlfriend, but the vast majority of dating/attraction material out there tends to assume men are all interested in quantity vs. quality (for lack of a less euphemistic description).

Nevertheless, they run a search on Google and end up getting caught up in some sort of dark, pessimistic or even disrespectful teaching.

So weirdly, the simple truth is that when a pretty normal guy decides he wants to step up and improve his skills, it's altogether possible that his congruency and perceived level of character will actually take a hit when he puts the new info into practice.

Ironically, this means his level of actual success with women will likely drop like a rock.

Sure, most of the advice out there will work to some degree. But the disconnect likely occurred in your case because you are indeed interested in great women, not just anyone who can fog a mirror.

Seriously, men who are focused on tricks and routines are not the ones who are attracting the highest echelon of women, as you've already figured out.

The very sharpest women are wise to all of that and deserve better. They deserve a man of character.

You've already recognized you are a stand-up guy (read: "solid man of character").

You also know what it means to attract a terrific woman, having done so before. Be that man of high character and deserve what you want.

Part of being that guy is refusing to accept a pattern of failure.

So in a very real way, a simple decision on your part to not "give up" may be a big part of what it takes to resume being the kind of man who attracts the kind of woman you are used to.

Then you empower yourself to confidently continue becoming an even better man than ever.

[Richard]

Thanks for the advice