Anxious about dating a Colombian woman after a divorce. Need advice!!!

[seriousguy88]

Some people might find it weird that anyone could be anxious about dating a woman after a divorce. I have been in a 5-year marriage that had more arguments than sweet moments. My ex-wife and I really tried to make our shaky relationship work, but eventually, we decided to part ways.
The end of our marriage made me anxious about getting in a serious relationship. This is why I feel unsure about dating someone who isn’t in the same country. My friends encouraged me to “get myself out there” and find someone. I was hesitant because of my worries, but I eventually enjoyed the casual dating. Then I was invited to an old colleague’s wedding. That’s when I heard about A Foreign Affair, and I immediately signed up.
I’ve talked to a few girls and found this one Colombian woman interesting. Her name is Lucia and she really caught my attention. She’s very passionate when it comes to her philosophical views which makes our conversations very exciting.
She’s also into art and music. Coming from a family that’s part Cuban, I can relate to some of the things that she’s into, which was a problem I had with my ex-wife. She knows about my divorce, but she doesn’t know what happened with my marriage. Should I tell her those details or should I just keep it a secret?
It’s not every day that I get to find someone like her, but I’m still scared about making things official. If it didn’t work out with someone who lives under the same roof, what assurance do I have that it’ll work out far away? I could visit her again someday on one of AFA’s tours, but what happens after? I need some advice on whether I should pursue what I have with Lucia or not. How do you make things work with someone that far? Will my divorce issues affect my future relationship with her?

[Julia]

She knows about my divorce, but she doesn’t know what happened with my marriage. Should I tell her those details or should I just keep it a secret?

It's not wise to tell her what led to your divorce, telling her will make you lose her for good. However, you can tell her when you have been in a relationship with her for a while. In my opinion, I don't encourage long distance relationship.

[Michael]

Long distance relationships are a challenge. You don't get to spend time with the person enough to solidify things. It's easy to fall into a fantasy of who they are, because your connection is build on tenuous things, time spent on the phone rather than gazing in each other's eyes. Emails rather than touches. Therefore, it's important to keep the following tips in mind.

Tip #1 - Know Your End-Game

This might be the most important piece of long distance relationship advice. When you're dating someone in town, you can dawdle, take you time, and not worry about where things are going for a while. In a long-distance relationship, you need to know what the long term plan is. How long to do expect to be apart for? How do you expect to end up in the same city?

If you can't answer those questions, you need to either downgrade the relationship to a fling, or find somebody more local.

Tip #2 - Keep Your Social Life Active

A lot of people in a long-distance relationship find themselves sitting by the phone, and they neglect their real-world social life. But phone calls and IMs and skype aren't replacements for real human contact. If you want to avoid putting too much expectation on your long distance relationship, you must keep your local social life active. This also means allowing your partner to have a local social life, too. It can be hard to keep jealousy in check when he tells you about all the fun people he was hanging out with, but you have to trust him if you want him to trust you.

Tip #3 - See Each Other When You Can

This is a very important bit of long distance relationship advice, because it is a good marker of your commitment to the relationship. You need real, in-person face time to know if things have a chance of working. If you aren't making that a priority, then you're never going to know, and you'll be stuck in limbo for a very long time.

Lots of people in long-distance relationships worry about the daily phone call, text, or email, but in the grand scheme of things that is much less important that the time you get to spend together. Be relaxed about the phone calls. Appreciate the time you take with each other.

Lastly, remember that when you do visit each other, one of you is on vacation, so it's not quite the real world.

If you can follow this long distance relationship advice, you'll have a good chance of seeing if your relationship is really the thing for you, or if its just a pleasant diversion until you find someone awesome who's also local. Good luck, and remember to enjoy it! Relationships are supposed to be fun!

[Vivian]

Distance often throws a monkey wrench into a relationship. That is why many people are wary of committing to any long distance relationship. However, most couples tend to forget that relationship does not depend on the physical location only.

Close proximity can often be suffocating while in a long distance relationship many good things can bloom in the space between the couple. For this to happen, couples should focus on how things can turn out right instead of dwelling on what can go wrong. If you are trying to make your long distance relationship work, check out the following suggestions.

Being In A Successful Long Distance Relationship

A sexual relationship at the wrong point of time has a negative bearing on a relationship. (This is sure going to get a lot of flack from some readers, but sorry people, this is the truth!) This intimacy changes the equation especially when they are not yet ready to take the step. Once the threshold is crossed the pressure on the relationship makes it harder to work things out as they move very quickly in other areas. More often than not, it leads to a break up. However, when a couple is far away, the pressure of physical contact is reduced. The relationship progresses slowly making the couple know each other better.

In a long distance relationship, proper communication is important. To keep things moving forward, these relationships use a different line of communication that is far better than those who stay in close proximity. That is because the only way to spend time with one another in a long distance relationship is through communication. When together, communication can often turn into arguments. While this not impossible when apart, it is greatly reduced, since there is more focus on the other person and less on oneself.

In a long distance relationship, friendship is the foundation on which it is built. No matter where they are located, a bond inevitably forms with an underlying emotional connection. In close proximity this valuable friendship is often overshadowed by intimacy. Thus, a support system, the bedrock of a relationship, which takes time to build, is missed out. In a long distance relationship, the couple become friends first and lovers later, so, both develop proper understanding. If you want your relationship to work no matter where you are, your partner should be your friend, apart from being our lover.

Have faith in your relationship no matter where you are. If you believe that your relationship is fragile just because of distance, you're going to ruin it with your own hands. Live in the moment, enjoy the romance, and the rest will work out for you. Stay away from rumours and unlikely stories about your partner, avoid suspicion, and the seed of romance will blossom into a thing of beauty.

Although these points may sound like a long distance relationship can be easy for everyone to work out, this is not always so. Not everyone has the energy and commitment to carry out a long distance relationship. Many people are more comfortable when their partner is physically present for whatever may be the reason. However, if you are fully prepared to make the long distance relationship with your partner work, then all the points given above will surely be of help. Sometimes, distance may be one thing that pushes your relationship on to success.