I dont know what to think

[Carlton]

I was in a "friend with benefits" relationship for a while about 6 years ago. The "benefits" after a time and we have remained friends. I have since moved away but we remain very close. I see her about 6-8 times a year and we talk regularly (mostly via text). In the last 9 to 12 months I have seen a change in the nature of our communication. At seemingly random times I receive texts from her with suggestions to listen to songs such as "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran or "Beautiful Trauma" by P!ink. I also get pictures with that aren't necessarily overtly sexual but could be interpreted in that way like pictures or her in her underwear to show the results of recent surgery or pics of a new outfit or even a picture or her in her night clothes exposing a good bit of her breasts. When we are together there is some touching (hugs, greeting kisses etc) but nothing inappropriate. Recently we've made plans to go see a concert in the summer together and she has suggested we stay in the same room. We've done that before years ago after we'd ended our sexual relationship and I did nothing to initiate anything at that time but afterwards she asked me why I didn't try anything and when I told her I was respecting her wishes she responded by saying "well it would have been nice to know you at least thought I was still attractive". At another time I tried to initiate something and she declined. We talked about that same bed incident in passing in a joking manner recently and just laughed and moved on, she didn't explain or talk about it in detail. Sometimes we have perfectly "normal" friend type discussions but occasionally things get weird like mentioned above. Most recently, when talking about the upcoming concert she said that she had to get into better shape and wor on her body before we went to which I told her she always looks beautiful to me. There was no response from her when I told her I thought she wasbeautiful though. I would love to be closer to her and have a romantic relationship (more than just sex too) but I don't want to ruin the close friendship we have. I need some advice as to descerning what she wants or means by her actions.

[PRW]

She gave you several hints and you blew them off. You may have just watched your window of opportunity pass due to your indecisiveness. Suggesting romantic songs, sending you sexy pics, suggesting you share the bed, asking why you didn't "try anything",...what do you need for her to do next? Run over you with a truck?

If you want something more than friends then quit screwing around with all the wishy-washy uncertainty. Be a man,...be masculine,...ask her out on a date. Make it a specific time/date/place,...nothing wishy-washy. Make it perfectly clear when you do that this is a date and you're not going to this as "buddies". If she turns you down now then you just have to live with it.

[Carlton]

You're probably right and normally I'm not this "wishy washy". The problem problem has been that she was hot and cold. I'd get massages etc then I'd respond and then it was as if nothing happened. I should have just asked her what the hell she was trying to accomplish when I first had an inkling. I'm going to regardless confront her at the concert we are attending and see what happens. I appreciate the advice.

[PRW]

You're probably right and normally I'm not this "wishy washy". The problem problem has been that she was hot and cold. I'd get massages etc then I'd respond and then it was as if nothing happened. I should have just asked her what the hell she was trying to accomplish when I first had an inkling. I'm going to regardless confront her at the concert we are attending and see what happens. I appreciate the advice.

A man being wishy-washy,...makes a woman act hot-&-cold. They are tied together. So you may have been wishy-washy for longer than you think, which has caused the hot-&-cold,...which then makes you more wishy-washy,...which then makes her lean more to cold. It is a death spiral.

You "confront" her at the concert and it will be over for sure. Count on it. The cold will become ice.

Your job is to make the dating plans,...execute the dating plans,...and then hangout/have fun on the date. You should not be "outcome" focused. Stop looking for labels, titles, and lock-downs.

Her job is to show up and enjoy,...and to pluck the pedals off the flower saying, "He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not". Her job is labels and titles. That is not your job.

[Judith]

The concert you both are attending would be a perfect time to let her know your feelings towards her. Don't beat around the bush, just be straight forward and tell her you want her more than a friend and a friend with benefit.

Her reactions might be positive and you will be amazed.

[Sammy]

Look - if you have got problems getting stuck in the 'friend zone' then you have got to do something...fast! Read on to discover the tips and tricks you can use that will get her to think of you as a potential boyfriend rather than just a casual 'friend'.

How To Get Out of The "Friend Zone"

Tactic Number One - "Sexualize The Interaction". Here's the biggest reason WHY she is not taking you as her boyfriend - you just do not excite her...sexually. Therefore, the most effective way to stop being treated as a 'friend' is to get sexual with her. Simple.

What this means is that you have got to make her think about having sex with you. Introduce some sexual tension in your conversation with her - this will put in some dirty thoughts in her mind about you. Once she thinks that you are worthy of being her sexual partner, you will cease being treated as a 'friend'. Simple.

Tactic Number Two - "Remove Attachment". This means that you have got to STOP feeling attached to her. You will need to realize that she is only one out of 3,000,000,000 women out there in the world today. She's really not that special at all - it's just that your mind is playing tricks on you!

Once you remove that attachment with her, you will find it so much easier - she could even come chasing after you instead.

Tactic Number Three - "Hypnotize Her". If you have tried everything you could and still find it difficult to make her stop taking you as a 'friend', then you could consider using hypnosis. One such tactic, known as fractionation, involves making the woman go through an emotional rollercoaster and making her 'emotionally addicted' to you. Powerful stuff!

But before you use this technique, you must heed this warning..

Fractionation is considered as a 'dark art' tactic which is the basis of hypnosis-based seduction, and while controversial, it is known to be one of the most effective tactics ever invented by underground seductionists.