One night stand hangover

[CarlieJeff]

I've been single for around 9 months after a long relationship for nearly 10 years. The relationship ended due to feeling no connection, which resulted in no sex& feeling lonely

Since then, I've dated a number of men, from 5 years older to 5 years younger, but all seem to be going the same way.

I find people with things in common or in places i frequent daily thinking this will have the best chances on mutual interests, yet they all seem to just date once then ghost with out having balls to say why.

Physically I am fit, dress well, have a good well paid job and can look good and I feel date guys on my level. Personality wise I am outgoing and fun sense of humour, not too serious, like to explore and go out, travel, eat out & keep fit. So I wouldnt say im boring

Even some guys who I've slept with and made it clear it wasnt serious do the same. Not sure if because Im 30 people arent taking me seriously, are all the decent guys looking for wives? This is happening in 4 cities where I live, so not just the same town.

Recently, I had a great first night with a guy, we were on the understanding it would be casual, we had a great night laughing, slept together, slept over, breakfast & never ran out of conversation, then ghosted again!

I am sick of feeling so low from it. Yet I dont want to mess around someone looking for a relationship, so I'm being honest from the offset what I want

I'm only looking for a little company rather than a relationship, but each time I date a guy, I feel like its killing my confidence and willingness as it ends. I am left feeling inadequate and lonely to the point I dont want to date

[Zinok]

Sounds to me like you're picking the wrong kinds of men.
And if you're leading your interactions with stating that you're not "messing around with someone looking for a relationship" you can't really be surprised when people hook up with you then bail. You told them specifically you don't want anything from them other than sex. Finding a solid fwb is incredibly elusive, because if you find the person who's willing to develop that friendship as well as sleep with you, why wouldn't you just date each other? The whole point of no relationship is no strings.

So I have two suggestions which may be helpful to you.
The first is to realize that you are getting exactly what you are asking for, and that unless you want to build connections with people that may lead to relationships, you're not going to find someone who's going to stick around for more than one or two dates/hook ups. The second is a tad more unorthodox, if you truly want to have ongoing sexual relations with one person, but not have a relationship with them, try finding someone who is poly and already has a primary partner. That way they are already getting most of the emotional and physical needs met elsewhere, but will be open to giving you -some- of their time consistently.

Good luck.

[Barry]

You haven't met the right man for you. When you eventually meet that person that is right for you, he won't leave you.

[Tina]

You must understand that not every guy you meet will stay with you. Keep searching until you meet that perfect match for you.