interested in him but don’t know if he’s interested in me! Advice pls !!!

[Yorkietown]

Sorry for long thread! need some advice. there is this guy I’ve known for 1 yr &half, we met while he was on duty. We hung out taking walks late at night and sitting on a bench on a walk way and just talking, we also went to his house to play videos games a few times. He’s asked me to get food before&go to a lounge in the beginning when we first really started talking but I declined. (I also wasn’t really interested in the beginning esp because I just got out of a relationship at the time) we did end up going to the beach 3 weeks ago and stayed there for an hour then he dropped me off right after. he has come over while my mom was home and didn’t mind that she was there. So basically recently I started hanging out with him more often and became more interested in him I guess because I don’t really have baggage anymore so opened up more to him. We recently started cuddling when I go over and watching movies or shows and I’ve slept over his house but didn’t not have sex for the 3 months I really started becoming interested in him. He does always laughs or smiles when I say things or when he looks at me while talking. A week ago, we had sex for the first time As well as today. We cuddle before having sex but after having sex he doesn’t cuddle with me anymore or touch me playfully but also doesn’t ask me to leave. He does work night shifts at his job so sleeps during the day when I’m not there but he knows that if he sleeps I will leave so he stays up. So today I did ask him if he wanted to go to bed and he said yes so I ended up leaving afterwards. He dropped me off at a cafe and said that it was nice seeing me again. every time I leave he never texts me afterwards (I don’t text him either but more because I hope he texts me) the first time we had sex I didn’t text him for a whole week but he did contact me 3 days later commenting on my Instagram story about a dress my friend got me from amsterdame and he said he liked the dress. I talked to him that night but it was only a few messages and he ended up ending the convo. I texted him 2 days later to see how he was but I ended the conversation that time. The next day he texted me and asked me to come over around 10 am. We had sex and I stayed over for a few hours then asked if he was tired and if so I’d leave, he said he was so I ended up leaving. I haven’t heard from him since. I know from today when I saw him that he felt that he performed terribly the first time and I told him that he didn’t, so that could be why he didn’t text me at all besides the dress thing but then when I texted him to see how he was he texted me the next day. he’s the first guy Ive been with since my ex &he knows this. So tell me what you guys think, I feel like he may be interested but at the same time I feel like he just wants sex. What do you guys think?

[Sofia]

To find out if he loves you or just want sex, when next you go to visit him make it a point not to have sex with him. If he's unhappy and mad at you for not having sex, it shows he doesn't love you but just want sex. However, if he acts normal and calls you after leaving his house, it proves he truly loves you.

[Bill]

Like you said, ''he felt he didn't perform way the first time you both had sex." There is every probability that he has the feeling that he still didn't perform well this last time you both had sex, hence he's acting distant.

So, you need to give him time and build your relationship first before you can tell if he loves you.

[smackie9]

To me this seem very casual like FWB. If you don't initiate, or interact in a way of showing him or any guy for that matter, that you are interested in dating, he's going to think sex is all you are interested in. Don't call him up to see if he wants to sleep over.......ask for dates, like go for dinner and do things outside the bedroom. Dress up, have fun, flirt, talk about the future and all that. Be into him, communicate between times you don't see each other, be interested in what he is doing, or what he has been up to, flirt, etc. Actually act like you want to be his GF. If he doesn't behave like a man who wants a relaitonship, kick him to the curb.

[Pink Flamingo]

I think you are a convenience. I think he probably cares about you but from outside looking in I say he is waiting for the right person and you are not that person. Personally I wouldn't chase anyone who acted like that to me. I looked for the one who was head over heals for me - anyone else you have too many things to worry about. I would move on unless you like FWB.

[singingstick]

idk, I think if I were you, I might feel like the relationship is less than thrilling. If all you guys do is get together and have sex, that's not really a good sign. Waiting 3 months is good. Usually that would indicate something more serious, but in this case, it doesn't sound like it. Sorry.