Unsure about partner's intentions...

[ClaireDeLune]

I have been seeing a man for about 7 months now. To me, he is everything I want in a prospective partner but I am having trouble figuring out if he feels the same about me. In my opinion, we suit each other perfectly. We text every day and he frequently initiates communication and dates. We see each other every weekend. He has introduced me to members of his family. He sometimes casually refers to plans he has for us in the future but we've made no concrete plans so far. So far it sounds kind of good right? However, I still can't tell whether he sees me as a potential long term partner or not.

My question is how long can the situation carry on like this before we have to sit down and have the "Define The Relationship" talk. I don't care much for labelling our relationship, but I don't handle uncertainty very well and I feel that after more than half a year of seeing each other, I am entitled to know where we stand with each other.

Is he perhaps just shy and insecure? Should I try harder to convince him of my feelings for him? We have not had sex yet (we do a lot of physical contact though), so he is not keeping me around just for that. Are these maybe signs that he's afraid of commitment or that "he's just not that into me"? Am I wasting time and energy by investing further in this potential relationship? He's NOT gay, and we both agree that we are more than "just friends".

Any input will be appreciated.

[Nate]

Essentially, you can't make someone do something against his will. The best that you can do to make a guy commit is to encourage him and at the same time, empower yourself.

Take action

The sad truth is that if you leave a guy alone, he will likely never commit. Unlike many women who dream of their weddings and living happily ever after, a stable life with a single woman is not in the dreams of many guys. For many guys, playing the field is the only way to date. This doesn't mean that you should condemn him and force him to change his views. This only means that if he wants to keep seeing you, then he should hold up his own end of the bargain. One of the reasons why it's important to make a guy commit is because you don't want to be merely one of the names in his little black book.

Stay busy

Seeing a guy who is not yet ready to make a commitment can be unfair for the girl. Do you really want to be in a relationship where he gets what he wants from you without sacrificing anything? Didn't think so! Then make sure you don't make yourself too available for him. If he sees that you are at his beck and call at all times, he won't see the need to commit just to spend time with you. Hang out with your friends, pursue a new hobby or pamper yourself at the salon instead of waiting for him to call every hour.

Don't be an eager beaver

Just because he says that he is finally ready to commit, don't jump for joy and grovel at his feet. He could just be saying that to please you so don't be too eager. Actions speak louder than words so be sure to observe his behavior if you want to make a guy commit.

[Rachael]

Unfortunately, not all men see it the same way even after being with the woman they love for a couple of years. If your boyfriend hasn't proposed to you yet and you are wondering whether he even intends to make a commitment with you in the future, there are a number of signs that will help you determine that. Your guy is ready to walk with you down the aisle if:

Will He Marry Me? Sign #1: He Talks About Having Kids Someday

Children are often synonymous with marriage and if your guy talks about kids and how many, this is a great sign that your guy is considering of marrying you and being a dad to your kids someday. When the subject about having your own children pops up, be honest about what you feel. Both of you should be clear about this very important matter.

Will He Marry Me? Sign 2: He Loves Your Family And Gets Along Well With Them

If your boyfriend doesn't cringe with the idea of spending time with your family, that is a good sign. After several years of you and him being together, it is crucial that by this time, he already knows and is comfortable with most of your family members. Seeing him trying to get along well with everyone in your family means he is considering of blending in anytime soon. In the same way, if your guy also makes efforts to arrange opportunities for you and his family to hang out together, that is also a sign that he is ready to marry you.

Will He Marry Me? Sign #3: He Is Considering Of Taking A Major Financial Leap

If your guy is considering of making a great financial step such as purchasing a home and a car, this is a good sign that he is ready for a long term commitment with you. These assets are obviously expensive and guys won't even bring up this matter to their girlfriends if they aren't serious about them for a long term relationship.

Will He Marry Me? Sign #4: He Is Becoming More Responsible

When he treats you responsibly, when he considers your emotions when tackling difficult issues, when he takes the extra mile to show that he cares for you, this is a great sign that he is ready to marry you soon. You will also know that he is getting more responsible if he starts saving a portion of his salary for the future as well as if he chooses to spend time with you more than with his single friends on a drinking session.

Will He Marry Me? Sign #5: You And Your Guy Get Along Well

There are a number of couples who have a lot in common but still do not go well when it comes to other things. If you and your guy usually get along well with one another whether or not you have different takes over a particular issue, this is a good sign that both of you are ready for marriage. If he is unselfish and willing to compromise in some cases, then it is very possible that he will consider you as his life-long partner.

[smackie9]

Is this the same guy that hasn't been in a committed relationship for 8 years?

[PRW]

I have been seeing a man for about 7 months now. To me, he is everything I want in a prospective partner but I am having trouble figuring out if he feels the same about me. In my opinion, we suit each other perfectly. We text every day and he frequently initiates communication and dates. We see each other every weekend. He has introduced me to members of his family. He sometimes casually refers to plans he has for us in the future but we've made no concrete plans so far. So far it sounds kind of good right? However, I still can't tell whether he sees me as a potential long term partner or not.

Seems perfectly normal to me

My question is how long can the situation carry on like this before we have to sit down and have the "Define The Relationship" talk. I don't care much for labelling our relationship, but I don't handle uncertainty very well and I feel that after more than half a year of seeing each other, I am entitled to know where we stand with each other.

You are the woman in the relationship:
1. Labels are your "job", not his. Labels are a good thing. The idea of labels being a negative is just a politically correct or socially correct "construct" created by commitment-phobes. Labels applied too soon is bad, but there is no way in the world that 7 months is "too soon".

2. Feeling "uncertain" is a feminine energy, and you are a woman. So nothing abnormal there. Certainty is masculine energy,...you should be getting it from your man,...but that isn't going to happen until you put effort into seeking in.

3. It is your job to bring up "The Talk". It is your job to start printing labels and slapping them on things. It is your job to seek certainty from your man by bringing up the conversations that will/should provide that certainty. Those things are all part of feminine energy.

Is he perhaps just shy and insecure? Should I try harder to convince him of my feelings for him? We have not had sex yet (we do a lot of physical contact though), so he is not keeping me around just for that. Are these maybe signs that he's afraid of commitment or that "he's just not that into me"? Am I wasting time and energy by investing further in this potential relationship? He's NOT gay, and we both agree that we are more than "just friends".

1. If he is smart, he is waiting on you,...like he should be

2. Not having sex yet (but being affectionate) is perfectly fine,...even commendable.

Am I wasting time and energy by investing further in this potential relationship?

No, backwards, You are wasting the relationship by not investing the time and energy to do the things, you as the woman, are responsible to do,...as I described above.