Blocked on all social media and text. Feeling hurt.

[kitkat]

I'm not sure whether to blame myself and probably had it coming, but a guy I have been getting to know over the course of two months just blocked me on all social media and over text.

We met on a dating site by pure fluke (but lived 6 hours drive from one another). We really hit it off and he came down for a weekend to see me. One thing he was honest about, was that he had a close female friend. He had mentioned her as his sister was getting married and this female friend asked if she could crash at his place, which he said yes.

He admitted to me they had slept together in the past and that he cheated on her with an ex gf. He said this was the first time he ever cheated and he learnt a lot and would never do it again. He told me although this female friend was in his life, he had zero feelings for her, even though he did admit she was in love with him and had always wanted more.

Naturally this made me wary, and even though we weren't dating, I think it just wore away at me knowing the day was coming that she would stay (which is this weekend), and concerns about his boundaries with friends, as he said he respected her and was acting distant so she didn't get any ideas, although it always played on my mind.

I tried to let it go but just couldn't. I went on vacation and as he lived close to where I was vacationing, he came down and spent 5 days with me and we did a lot of fun things together. I find it hard to connect with people and really delt
a bond with him, but it was always in the back of my mind I could get hurt by this female friend. While we were on vacation she text him asking why he was being distant, and he showed me his responses to her saying he was keeping his distance because he respects her and doesn't want her thinking they are more than they are.

What I really didn't understand is why she would ask that, and this showed me that he talks to her a lot more either when a girl is t around or when he is single, as no friend would ask why someone was being distant. He also liked her selfies a lot.

I decided after the vacation although I really didn't want to do so, to tell him we should just be friends, not because I didn't have feelings, br because I didn't want to be hurt; and he agreed it was probably for the best as I had such an issue with his female friend.

I will admit I was very upset and kind of flipped flopped back and forth, saying it wasn't what I wanted, but he just said we weren't right for each other and it was the right decision.

Yesterday I got pretty upset because his contact has been lacking, and he would tell me he was busy but I would see him replying to other people on social media, so I got really upset yesterday and just said screw this: and how he was lying to me about being busy, and he was not at all respectful. I know I shouldn't have said it and it was anger driven, but his response was to say that he doesn't deserve being questioned and his respect being questioned, and we are finished and he blocked me on all social media. I know there isn't really any advice that anyone could give as its pretty clear it's finished, but I'm very hurt because I grew such attachment to him, and just like that he cut me off like I was nothing to him, and I really did cherish our bond.

So I guess my question is, is there anything I can do? How can I move on? We never slept together either because I noticed he had something down below, and I told him he should get it checked out. He found out 2 days ago when getting it checked out that it was in fact genital warts, which he thought were skin tags, and after that diagnosis I was still there for him (actually came to find out they came from the girl mate he cheated with).

I probably hounded him a lot which was not a good start to a relationship, but it still hurts that he cut me off like I was nothing to him.

[Dennis]

I think you over-reacted to the issue of his female friend. You should have at least waited for the relationship to mature before doing what you did. It's just too early in your relationship to be controlling and determinate.

However, now that he has blocked you on all social media, I suggest you move on. He might change his mind someday and decide to contact you again.

[Victoria]

The only thing you can do in this case now that he has blocked you on all social media platform, will be to go to his house and that's if you know his house. However, even that makes you appear desperate and I won't recommend it. So, move on and hope he comes back.

[smackie9]

You shouldn't have feelings for this lying jerk. Him blocking you? He was worried his cover would be blown. I suspect he was sleeping with multiple women. When someone gives you more detail than necessary about someone or something, it's usually a lie. As for his genital warts, that just proves that there is a strong possibility he is a reckless individual, driven by his own selfish needs. No protected sex is what that says....ew.

Have no regrets, you did the right thing by sending him on his way. You dodged a bullet!

[PRW]

I'll put the conlusion at the top.

Conclusion: Write it off and walk away. You both did your share of screwing up and bad decisions. You can't fix his,...but you can fix yours.

We met on a dating site by pure fluke (but lived 6 hours drive from one another). We really hit it off and he came down for a weekend to see me.

That is too far away to take any of this too seriously until you have spent way more time together. From my perspective as a guy, when a guy chases a woman that is a 6 hour drive away, he is probably just wanting to get layed by someone far enough away to not see what he is doing privately the rest of the time when he isn't around her. Hitting it off? You can hit it off in that sense with any random person on the street for at least an hour or two,...it means very little.

One thing he was honest about, was that he had a close female friend. He had mentioned her as his sister was getting married and this female friend asked if she could crash at his place, which he said yes.
He admitted to me they had slept together in the past and that he cheated on her with an ex gf. He said this was the first time he ever cheated and he learnt a lot and would never do it again. He told me although this female friend was in his life, he had zero feelings for her, even though he did admit she was in love with him and had always wanted more.

His screwup:
Way, way too much information from him, particularly if unsolicited. It isn't honest,...it is just wacky.

I went on vacation and as he lived close to where I was vacationing, he came down and spent 5 days with me and we did a lot of fun things together.

Both of your screwups:

You don't spend 5 days with someone on vacation that you only met once before and you don't really even know,...that is kinda stupid. It doesn't say much for him either that he wanted to do it as well. He was just hoping to just get layed for the next 5 days, but managed to keep his desire "off the radar" well enough that you didn't pickup on it. Or did you pick up on it? How did you know he had warts on his junk? Did he whip out the thing and say, "Hey check out these little bumps! What do you think they are?"

While we were on vacation she text him asking why he was being distant, and he showed me his responses to her saying he was keeping his distance because he respects her and doesn't want her thinking they are more than they are.

Again wacky approval seeking behavor from him. He keeps showing that crap to you to seek your approval,...and probably as a backhanded way to say, "See I'm desirable! Even these women I don't want keep chasing me around".

I decided after the vacation although I really didn't want to do so, to tell him we should just be friends, not because I didn't have feelings, br because I didn't want to be hurt; and he agreed it was probably for the best as I had such an issue with his female friend.

This is the one right thing you both did and it should have ended here.

...he was lying to me about being busy, and he was not at all respectful. I know I shouldn't have said it and it was anger driven, but his response was to say that he doesn't deserve being questioned and his respect being questioned, and we are finished and he blocked me on all social media.

He got called out on his crap,...his cover was blown,...and he "ejected". Best thing that could have happened to you. Walk away.

We never slept together either because I noticed he had something down below, and I told him he should get it checked out.

Which means you were naked,...or at least he was,...and he would have been fine with sharing his warts if you wouldn't have said "no".

which he thought were skin tags, and after that diagnosis I was still there for him (actually came to find out they came from the girl mate he cheated with.

Which means he knew exactly what they were and were he got them. He never thought they were skin taqs,...that is just BS

I probably hounded him a lot which was not a good start to a relationship, but it still hurts that he cut me off like I was nothing to him.

There is no relationship and never was. You were his failed 5-day attempt at an easy "lay" with someone far enough away to remove accountability. Find someone close to home that you can actually build a real relationship with that has accountability, no deception, and no drama.

[Speranta18]

So sorry !! My thought is he is hiding something and when you are at the distance is easy to get infatuated of an ideea of him...you did not do anything wrong.Things will work out if is meant to be...couple of guy s done it to me and turned out one was married and one engaged...they did text me at one point but did not matter for me a.ymore