My Girlfriend Still Hangs Out With Her Ex Boyfriend

[Md162]

So, been dating a girl, I'm a guy, were both late 30s and she has a male best friend. He has a gf, they all get together sometimes and sometimes it's just the guy and the girl I'm seeing. This is on a weekly basis. I asked how she ended up with a male best friend and she said they dated for little over a year (a year ago). I asked what happened and he left her to see other women and decided to stay good friends with him. I wouldn't care if she is the one that left him, but he has the upper hand here. Women in this situation could be thought of as "still in love with him" or "can't let go". Honestly she is too smart to be that way, but I can't put my finger on why. She has invited me to meet him as a double date but I told her I'm not into meeting exbfs; at the time we weren't in a relationship so it's not like I could say who she can hang out with and not. I told her I didn't care if she hangs out with him and she's cool with me not meeting him. A few weeks later we decided to be exclusive she is still meeting both of them for drinks. It would seem that I'm the one with the problem but his new gf won him so she should be ok with it as she is. The girl I'm seeing gives her all to me, I don't feel as though she has a hard time letting go with him but it would be nice if he wasn't in the picture or if there's a way I could see this as ok. Looking for advice either way.

[smackie9]

Give it time....when things really start rolling with you two she waon't have time to hang out with him anymore.

[Vivian]

Your relationship with her is still new, so as time goes on she will be more into you and less into her ex boyfriend. Eventually, she might completely get over him and ignore him. So, be patient for the time being.

[Richard]

Don't do anything rash as the moment, else you might end up losing her. However, I will advice you politely tell her that you aren't comfortable with her seeing her ex. Telling her will help a lot.

[TheDarkOne]

Since you two being exclusive, does she still meet her ex on her own?

[PRW]

A few things:

1. You're sounding very insecure and unsure of yourself. Not good for the relationship at all. Did you become exclusive because you brought it up first or did she? If it was you, did you do it so that you would feel more "safe",...to try to assure no one is going to "take her away" from you?.
2. She has the dude in the "Friend Zone",...no guy ever gets out of that alive. Keep up the insecure outlook and you will be there too.
3. Saying you are "not into meeting Ex's" makes you appear insecure and "threatened" in her eyes,...not good. You could accomplish what you wanted by just already having a date plan of your own (like any guy should already have) for something the two of you can do together. Then is comes across as "positive" and something that you were already thinking about anyway.
4. If she does pressure you into meeting on a double date then "just do it",...just shut up and do it. Be nice, pleasant, respectful, and cordial to the guy when you meet him. That will make a far better impression on her than, "But,..but,..but,...I don't wanna!"