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I'm really scared to take things further with a guy I met online. I'm in therapy at the moment dealing with a trauma I experienced as a child and I know it's probably connected to that and I have a hard time trusting men. They never find out but I get a bit obsessive with their insta etc, I think to find out if they are truly trustworthy - I know it's unhealthy but I really worry.
I asked him last night if he has ever been blown away by somebody and he said that he had been infatuated a few times but never on a level where he has been I interested in someone for as long as he's been interested with me. He then went on to say he met someone a few summers ago who he had very strong feelings for but because they were travelling together they just accepted it as a fleeting experience, he said she was such a cool person and he admired her spirituality. So I knew who he meant straight away from who he follows on insta! I checked again on her page and saw that he likes *every* pic she posts (well not all but every one where she is in the pic). He has been doing this before he met me and still now. It's given me serious doubts about him as I don't get how he can continually tell me how much he likes me but put so much effort into her profile. Also, I'm the complete opposite of her, I'm mixed race and she is a very natural looking pretty white girl. She posts about spirituality I post about animal rights, feminism etc. I can't help but think I will get massively hurt as he obviously thinks of her so much still. Enough to tell me about her and still like so many of her pics. I feel like I really don't want to get hurt and wonder if and how I should end things. I would much rather that than develop more feelings. Also, he is super intellectual. I am not. I don't want to compete with their connection. Obviously I cannot tell him I've seen what he's been doing. Am I over reacting? Is my gut trying to tell me something or is it my fear? I'm thinking I should end things before I develope stronger feelings for him but i have no idea what i say to end it.
I'm so frustrated at my lack of confidence and immediate go to of thinking every other girl is above me. I know this is what makes me unattractive on the inside (fyi she is alot slimmer than me). I simply don't have the self esteem to just let myself fall for someone. This is why I think I should end things as what chance is their for something healthy now. I'm in a dilemma of wanting to meet someone vs knowing I've got so much work to do on myself. But he came along when he did and I've never met anyone like him. On the inside he is amazing and no other guy I've met compares. I don't know how to let him go and what I would say as we have both talked about being so invested in one another. I feel so sad about it. Thanks for any help.
I asked him last night if he has ever been blown away by somebody and he said that he had been infatuated a few times but never on a level where he has been I interested in someone for as long as he's been interested with me. He then went on to say he met someone a few summers ago who he had very strong feelings for but because they were travelling together they just accepted it as a fleeting experience, he said she was such a cool person and he admired her spirituality. So I knew who he meant straight away from who he follows on insta! I checked again on her page and saw that he likes *every* pic she posts (well not all but every one where she is in the pic). He has been doing this before he met me and still now. It's given me serious doubts about him as I don't get how he can continually tell me how much he likes me but put so much effort into her profile. Also, I'm the complete opposite of her, I'm mixed race and she is a very natural looking pretty white girl. She posts about spirituality I post about animal rights, feminism etc. I can't help but think I will get massively hurt as he obviously thinks of her so much still. Enough to tell me about her and still like so many of her pics. I feel like I really don't want to get hurt and wonder if and how I should end things. I would much rather that than develop more feelings. Also, he is super intellectual. I am not. I don't want to compete with their connection. Obviously I cannot tell him I've seen what he's been doing. Am I over reacting? Is my gut trying to tell me something or is it my fear? I'm thinking I should end things before I develope stronger feelings for him but i have no idea what i say to end it.
I'm so frustrated at my lack of confidence and immediate go to of thinking every other girl is above me. I know this is what makes me unattractive on the inside (fyi she is alot slimmer than me). I simply don't have the self esteem to just let myself fall for someone. This is why I think I should end things as what chance is their for something healthy now. I'm in a dilemma of wanting to meet someone vs knowing I've got so much work to do on myself. But he came along when he did and I've never met anyone like him. On the inside he is amazing and no other guy I've met compares. I don't know how to let him go and what I would say as we have both talked about being so invested in one another. I feel so sad about it. Thanks for any help.
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