Am I wrong for not wanting to text regularly throughout the day?

[Ilovewaffles]

I’m 25, he’s 36. Been together for about 6 months. I’m by default not a big texter. He knew this about me from the get go. My communication via text with friends and family is also minimal, so it’s not just him. I prefer to just call him once before bed to debrief and talk about our day. We spend the night together twice a week and have hour long conversations nightly. I feel that this amount of communication is sufficient and not neglectful. I feel like our relationship is secure and comfortable.




But apparently my lack of texting bothers him. I have told him before that I often don’t check my phone for hours on end because I’m busy reading a book, doing coursework, at the gym, watching a movie, etc just living my life. If I miss a text from him he will continue to text in hour intervals. Things like “I miss you”, “thinking about you”, “guess you’re busy” “text me back when you get this”. When I finally do check my phone I have like 8 texts from him in the past 5 hours. I find this behavior slightly annoying but I always reply when I see that he has texted me. I never intentionally ignore his texts. And I do initiate texting at times...when I actually have something substantial to say! Or like I see something that reminds me of him. I just don’t do the whole constant lovey-dovey texting back and forth. What’s the point??




I plan on bringing up the texting thing with him again just to check in and make sure he’s not upset with me over it. What’s bothering me currently is that a friend of mine seems to think my minimal communication style is indicative of me not truly loving him. Am I seriously a terrible girlfriend because I see no need in texting regularly throughout the day?

[Helloitsme!]

Hi!

I think of this sutuation just as you do! You’re living your life! My ex was the same except he’d never speak on the telephone, which you guys do. Maybe he is a little needy, I don’t think that it is a reflection of how you feel towards him as it’s not exactly the biggest thing in the world! Maybe text him a few times, Ie: good morning, hope you have a good day and then maybe check in a few hours later. I have come to realise that whilst the texting thing wasn’t a huge deal for me, it was for my ex partner as he just wanted to make sure I was ok and so I had to adapt (a little) which is what relationships are all about!

Hopefully you guys can get a common ground!

Good luck!

[Ella]

I’m by default not a big texter. He knew this about me from the get go.

It's true that he knows this about you before he started dating you, however, you need to change this behavior for his sake. The reason being that he likes texting constantly, so you must reciprocate it to have a healthy relationship.

[Lily]

What’s bothering me currently is that a friend of mine seems to think my minimal communication style is indicative of me not truly loving him

You friend is completely right, and this is how your boyfriend feels as well. Communication is a very important element in any relationship, without it you won't have a solid relationship.

[BassThumper]

Im old school. I have a phone but rarely text, When talking to a female i want to hear her voice and get an instant reaction. Texting is empty.